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Caregiving
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<font face="arial, helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><div>In this caregiving message board lean on others for advice, tips or just the proverbial shoulder to cry on.</div><div><br /></div></font>
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Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465
Cat:8548aeff-cf8c-4e73-ad17-e0a4380e2232Forum:7bd0772e-38a2-437e-9e64-4a31de425465Discussion:216ca6d4-0c69-4947-9df4-2a7949937cf9
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » x
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Re: Difficult Mother
posted at January 5, 2013 4:19 PM EST
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Posts: 15
First: August 31, 2012 Last: January 20, 2013 |
Bless your heart... You are in a very difficult situation. My Mother passed away Nov 11, 2012, and honestly, I can't tell you what a relief it was. She didn't drive, had no friends, didn't want any, and nothing anyone could do was ever enough or right or made her happy. If I hadn't had such a supportive husband and friends, I don't know how I would have kept my sanity. I see a counselor twice a month, and spent a lot of time discussing my Mother. I now realize that Mother had pretty much always been a negative person and was difficult to get along with, but I didn't have to deal with it on a regular basis until 2 years ago, which has been the unhappiest 2 years of my life. I was about to take my counselor's advice and see if her primary care doc would prescribe some kind of anti-depressant for her, but we never got that far. I wonder if this would help your Mom, and therefore, help you? Are there any senior care facilities nearby where you might talk with one of their administrators to see what they recommend? I wish you the best, and hope that you will soon find some source of support. I'll remember you in my prayers. In Response to Difficult Mother: My mother, age 87, is very difficult. She complains constantly no matter how hard I try to help her and she wants to be pampered. I am left to caring for my mother by myself. My sister passed away last month but only saw my mother about twice a year even though she lived close by. My other sister has a difficult time dealing with the whole thing. My brother lives out of state. I live in the same building as my mother. We have separate apartments. There are some senior citizens apartments that she could get into where her quality of life would be better and I wouldn't have to do so much for her. Right now she really only goes out once a week for about an hour. She only drives within a couple of blocks of the apartment but I think the driving will stop soon. Other than that unless I do something with her on the weekend she sits home by herself all week. I am angry that she is so selfish and angry at my siblings. I feel like I am in prison and definately feel emotionally abused. I work all week and have a very demanding job. Posted by ColorMyWorld72 |
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Re: Difficult Mother
posted at January 9, 2013 11:08 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: January 9, 2013 Last: January 9, 2013 |
In response to "Difficult Mother": My mother, age 87, is very difficult. She complains constantly.... Posted by ColorMyWorld72 I feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation except it's my grandmother, who is 85, and I live with her. Some suggestions in no particular order: Find some way to de-stress... Yoga, meditation, whatever is effective for you and stick with it. Read up on the aging process and how it affects people. It will help you to not take her behavior personally. The brain, frontal lobe I think, begins to deteriorate over time which results in some of the behaviors you're seeing in your mother. Look into getting a home companion for her to help you out, if your mother can afford it. Do you have other family who can help once in a while.. Cousins, etc? Set boundaries and enforce them. Don't let your mother take all of your time. If you need to take vacation, do it. Just go. Tell your family, tell your mother, tell them they need to make arrangements because you're going on a trip. They will work out a plan. Ignore any gripes that anyone may make because you are taking time for you. If all else fails, talk to a therapist. You need an outlet for your frustration. |
Forums » Relationships » Caregiving » x
