Have you talked with your parents yet about end-of-life wishes, wills, finances, etc.?  If you did, how did it go?  Do you feel like everyone's in a better place now or did your parents get upset?  It's something I need to do but am apprehensive about doing it...
Posted by GenaW

My father is 95, my mother 88.  My dad can hardly walk.  My mother falls in the house. They live in their own home without any outside help. When there are problems, I get the call.  I'm there almost every day.  I've tried to talk them into moving into assisted living.  My mother will not hear of it.  I've tried to talk to them about pre-arranging funerals.  My mother said no, that it will be my task to do.  When I'm there, she cries saying it's hell getting old.  Yet she won't take any advice from me on making their lives better. She is very stubborn!   I'm at my wits end.  Any suggestions?
Posted by GREGR5

In Response to Re: Has anyone had "the talk" with their parents? : The thing is, renee, you have to be there when they need you.  So the ticket is to be prepared - do your research so that you can get things rolling fast.  Call the local aging dept just to find out what things might be available for them when they might be in need. What about the meals on wheels program?  Would they be open to that possibility . . . . . it is not just a meals program because the volunteer that delivers the meals can at least make sure they are doing OK from day to day (5) days a week. There are also other living arrangements that can be made - some may have waiting list. Try to know their income and financials if possible.  How do they get around . . . . do they ( or one, at least) still drive or do they take public transportation?  You can also check into "Guardianship" just to familiarize yourself with the legal aspect of what you may have to do, if and when they cannot look after themselves. Just become knowledgeable and wait until they need whatever help.  As long as their mind is still good, and you haven't been given any legal authority to take over, that is just about all you can do in a big way.  Perhaps get all the kids together for an "intervention". Who do they call now if they need help with something they cannot do? I have been to homes where there were few light because the bulbs had burned out and the elders just didn't call anybody to come change out the burned out bulb.  I've seen other homes where the major maintenance was not kept up and big stuff started causing problems - roofs, HVAC, leaks of water and air around windows, rats, ants, bug infestation.  Overgrown yards, dangerous trees overhanging the house, etc. Now if they live in an apartment, perhaps a change to something more condusive to advanced age seniors would be to their liking but still independent (to a certain degree). Who are their friends and how these friends handing the aging situation?  Sometimes knowing this can give you an ally and perhaps some suggestions as to what they would accept. If you suspect that dementia or something worse in taking place, you need to act because you never know when they might forget to turn off the stove or leave something cooking for too long.  Dementia manifest itself in many different ways. Good Luck.
Posted by GailL1