A Dressing-Room Debate

By: Ron Burley | Source: AARP.org | September 14, 2009

Sometimes, asserting your rights as a consumer is not about the money; it’s about a principle.

My eight-year-old daughter and I were neck-deep in duds for her to try on for the new school year. (Yup, I’m one of those late starters in parenting—a member of both AARP and the PTA.) We pushed the bright red Target cart into the entryway of the men’s dressing room and prepared to unload our selections when a clerk stepped up and said, “She can’t go in there with you.”

I replied, “Well, these clothes are going to look pretty funny on me.” She missed the humor. I tried again: “The clothes are for her. I need to help her try them on.”

The clerk, a woman of AARP age, responded, “She’s not allowed in the men’s dressing area.”

We’d been shopping at that store, using the same dressing room to try on clothes, since she was an infant. “Has the policy changed?” I asked. “Do you want us to go into the women’s area now?”

The woman frowned. “You can’t go in there.”

This didn’t make much sense. My daughter isn’t yet capable of managing the whole dressing-room floor show by herself. I’d have to accompany her and, up to this point, it had never been a problem. The dressing rooms were all private, with locking doors.

“What do you suggest?” I asked.

Her reply, over the din of back-to-school shoppers surging in and out of the dressing rooms, was, “Your daughter can go in alone [on the women’s side], or you can wait until there is no one else in the other dressing rooms, and then we can tell the others to wait for you to finish.”

Neither option seemed sensible. Why would a store want to delay every other shopper wanting to try on a pair of pants because a father needs to help his daughter buy some new clothes?

In my most businesslike “I’m not going away” consumer voice, I said, “I’d like to speak with the manager, please.”

I was pretty confident that when the boss showed up we’d be ushered into a dressing room with a mild apology. After all, what were they worried about?

Five minutes later, the manager, Steve, showed up. I told him my side of the story.

He replied, “That’s our policy.”

“When did it change?” I asked.

“It’s always been that way,” said Steve.

At that moment, I switched hats, from harried parent to inquisitive consumer activist. Businesses often wave around the phrase, “It’s our policy,” as if it were a magic wand. Poof! The peeved patron will disappear. My advice: Don’t. When people start to spout “policy,” ask to see the documentation.

“What’s the policy?” I asked.

Steve pointed to the signs in red and white next to the doors of the changing rooms. On the left, it read, “Men and Boys.” To the right, “Women and Girls.”

“No age limits?” I queried. “You mean to tell me that a mother with an infant son has to leave her baby in the store area while she tries on a new post-maternity dress?”

Steve smirked. “That’s just silly.”

I didn’t smile. “Not really. If she can take him in with her, what about a two-year-old? –A four-year-old? –An eight-year-old? What does the policy say about age limits?”

Steve seemed a little unnerved by my line of questioning. “I can give you a phone number to call,” he said.

“Steve, I’d prefer to work with you as the manager of my local Target store. You’re telling me about the policy. You must have read it, then. Tell me what it says. Better yet, let’s go to your office and read it together.”

Making a scene in a situation like this is rarely productive. Obnoxious behavior just gives businesses a good excuse to dismiss you as a wacko. What I realized at this point in my exchange was that either Target had an entirely untenable policy regarding its changing rooms, or that Steve was shooting from the hip and missing.

Just then, a lull in the shopping rush allowed my daughter and me exclusive use of the men’s dressing room. Mission (awkwardly) accomplished. Even so, the next morning I placed a call to the executive offices of Target.

I received a return call several hours later from Dave Fransen of Target’s PR department. His response to my inquiry was short and sweet: Target’s policy is, and always has been, that parents can accompany their children into dressing rooms. Fransen admitted that something had clearly gone wrong at my local store, and he said that they were still deciding on what appropriate “retraining” steps should be taken to make sure it never happened again.

Sometimes, it’s best to walk away. Other times, the rights we all have as citizens expecting equal treatment compel us to ask questions and demand reasonable answers.