The Woman Who Irons the News
By: Source: AARP Bulletin Today Date Posted: 2007-05-17 14:30:49.240425-04:00
Do you refuse to take the top newspaper on a stack (even if it's perfect)? Insist that the toilet paper hang "over"? Wait for the phone to ring at least twice before answering, even if it's next to you? Pick up a piece of candy you dropped, carefully examine it, blow on it to remove any trace of germs, and then eat it?
Guys, when you get dressed, do you put on your pants, zip the zipper, button up, buckle the belt—then put your shirt on, unbuckle the belt, undo the button, unzip the zipper, tuck your shirt in, and do the whole thing up again? Why don't you put your shirt on first?
And ladies, why do you always need company to go to the restroom when you're out to dinner with friends? Can you imagine a guy doing this? "Hey Charlie, I'm going to the men's room. Wanna come?"
When it comes to idiosyncratic behavior, you're not alone. Interviews with hundreds of subjects for a new book on quirks and other unusual behavior revealed that people do the darnedest things.
The Howard Hughes Syndrome
The New York Times is delivered to my doorstep every morning. Before reading it, I iron the outside of each section. All my things are ironed or wiped with 70 percent alcohol to sterilize them. I've been doing this for years to protect myself from germs. —Louise Bourgeois, 93, artist-sculptor
In public restrooms, I discard the first four feet of toilet paper just in case it touched the floor and got rolled back up. —Lauren Lee, 44, policy analyst
My ex-husband divided people into two groups, the crumplers and the folders. He was obviously a folder, but I didn't know how much of a folder until years later when one of my children revealed that he marched five of our six children, ranging in age from about 8 to 16 at the time, into a small bathroom. He then demonstrated, dead seriously, the proper way—the only way—to utilize toilet paper. He explained that a sheet of four squares of toilet paper should be ripped off, folded into one square and then folded twice again. This, he said, is the only way to do it and there are no other options. —Name Withheld
Unconventional Wisdom
Sometimes, when I go grocery shopping, I buy only items starting with one letter. I love a good C-day: carrots, cauliflower, cat food, chops, corn, coffee, chocolate. Occasionally I invite the kids across the street over for a P-party: pizza, pineapple, pretzels and punch. —Mary Gordon Spence, 57, writer
I always take sips from the water fountain in multiples of four. I just happen to like the rhythm of four sips. Eight or 12 work well after exercise. —Daniel Lauve, 26, MBA student
I eat my cereal dry and have the milk on the side because I don't like to mix things. I swallow some cereal and then take a swig of milk to wash it down. Sometimes I use Coca-Cola. —Chad Bowar, 35, radio host
My socks have to be smiling when I put them in the drawer. When you roll up socks and flip one opening over the other, the little shape that's formed looks like a smile. It's cheerful to open my drawer and see all the socks smiling. —Thomas DeLoca, 46, textile salesman
Each time I go over a bridge or through a tunnel, I say to myself, "Thank God. Thank God. Thank God." This ensures that I will get to the other end safely. I also like to build up my "Thank Gods" for when I forget to say it. —Arnold Kohn, 62, printing salesman
When I'm done ironing, not only do I unplug the iron, I take it a step further. I put the hot iron in the refrigerator to make sure that it doesn't ignite anything and cause a fire. But then—this is how wacky it gets—I worry that it may melt a plastic container in there so I keep checking. —Noam Laden, 37, radio broadcaster
Look Who's Talking
The quirks in my book are divided into chapters about food, clothing, money, bathroom, sleep, germs and miscellaneous. I could not bring myself to put the food chapter back to back with the bathroom chapter because it seemed distasteful. I separated them with the money chapter. —Judy Reiser, 54, author
Adapted from Admit It, You're Crazy! Quirks, Idiosyncrasies, and Irrational Behavior© 2005 by Judy Reiser (Andrews McMeel Publishing, May 2005).
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