Liz McGuire: An Intimate Look at a Grandmother's Rescue Mission
By: Susan Q. Stranahan Source: AARP Bulletin Today Date Posted: January 2006
Liz McGuire, a beautician and resident of Prestonsburg, Ky., has raised four of her own children, three children of relatives and, most recently, her step-grandson, Cody Perkins, who was orphaned and came to live with McGuire. It is McGuire's strong role in Cody's life that is an underlying theme of Country Boys, a six-part documentary that's scheduled to air nationally on public television Jan. 9-11. Here McGuire talks about being a mentor and the difference one person's involvement can make in another person's life.
Q. You've made a huge commitment to helping others. Why?
A. My mother became mentally ill when I was two. My grandmother, Mary McGuire, was my mentor. She loved me dearly and instilled a lot in me [when] I needed somebody to care for me. I suppose that's the reason why.
I also enjoy children. I have more patience with children than I do with older people. That's one of my downfalls. My mother said to me one day, "You like taking care of children better than old people." I think I expect too much of older people. That's not good. Of course, I'm getting old myself. I wonder what that will be like.
Q. How did your relationship with Cody begin?
A. My daughter married Cody's father when Cody was two years old. I loved Cody and we bonded. His father was involved in drugs and alcohol and so was my daughter. I knew that Cody would have a hard life. I wanted then to take him and raise him, but that wasn't possible. Cody was three years old when my daughter and his father separated.
[Liz McGuire's daughter was Gary Perkins's fourth wife. Perkins killed his seventh wife and then killed himself when Cody was 12. The youngster lived with family members for a while and then asked to move in with McGuire, which he did a week before he turned 14.]
[When] Cody re-entered my life, I told him, "You and I may not always agree on things, but we will always be friends." He is a good boy. It's been my pleasure to see Cody grow. I told him not long ago, "I'm so proud of you. It's been a pleasure to raise you."
Q. Although Cody initially struggled hard with his schoolwork, you persisted, and he began to do well, ultimately being chosen as class valedictorian. What was your reaction?
A. I thought it was the most wonderful thing.
Q. You deserve a lot of credit.
A. Yes, he did a lot of work, too. He was lazy when he first came to live with me. He was fighting all the time in school, in the eighth grade. Cody dressed the way he dressed [in punk clothing and body piercing] to get attention, because he hadn't had any attention. I let him dress the way he wanted to. I didn't try to change him around. But I demanded that he get an education. I told him the same thing I told my son when he was little. He was lazy, too. I told him, "I'm not going to raise uneducated children. I refuse to do that."
I told Cody you have to have an education. You don't have anyone else to do anything for you. I am getting older. I can't do for you the rest of my life. You have to have an education so you can do it on your own.
Q. How did you get involved in the Country Boys documentary?
A. David Sutherland came to Cody's school [the David School, an alternative, tuition-free private school in David, Ky.] for a parent-teachers meeting and he got up and talked about making the film. One of the children in the school told him he needed to talk to Cody Perkins because Cody likes to talk. David called me and I told him Cody's story. [Cody and classmate Chris Johnson ultimately became the focus of Sutherland's film. Sutherland and his crew ended up tracking the lives of Cody, Chris, their families and friends for three years (1999-2002).]
Q. The documentary details many intimate and painful moments in everyone's lives. How did you handle that?
A. I'm such an open person. Sometimes it was hard for Cody. I told him, "Now little boy, you signed up for this, these people have a job to do and you get up." That's true. They did have a job to do. I told Cody if you make an obligation, you stay with it. David Sutherland and the crew came along at a perfect time for Cody. He needed a lot of attention. He was starved for attention. This just gave him so much attention. They loved him. David loved both of these boys [Cody and Chris Johnson]. He is so fond of them. I'm so thankful and grateful for this film because it helped Cody so much.
Q. What message do you think people will carry away from this documentary?
A. I hope people will open their hearts and their minds and their homes to help children who need help. That is what I hope for. If you can manage to help a child, what more important thing can you do in life? I just hope that they will think about these things. It is work. You have your ups and downs with it. But after the job is completed, how wonderful it is to be able to make a difference. This child [Cody] wouldn't be here today if I hadn't taken him in. I always told Cody, "Good times don't last and bad times will pass. Always remember that."
Q. What is the value of mentoring?
A. Love, first of all. To love a person, to try to guide them in the direction they should go in, but never ever give up. Never, ever give up on a child. I thought: If I could just save this child's life. That was the most important thing. Then education, and then love.
Q. And what do you receive in return?
A. The joy, the happiness that I see in Cody. I see all of his success and what he has done with his life, that he didn't follow in the direction that his daddy did. That's my job. To see that he can live on his own and be a good person and love the Lord, and that Cody does. That is the joy of raising a child to me, or mentoring. It's the same. That's all I expect. I don't expect anything for me. Just to make a difference in his life. He's a wonderful child.
Q. There was a line in Cody's valedictory speech: "Never quit chasing your dreams." Could he have learned that from you?
A. Yes.
Cody Perkins, now 22, is married to his high school sweetheart, Jessica Riddle, and lives next to Liz McGuire in Prestonsburg. She works in a bank; he's attending community college, learning heating and cooling technology.
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