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Your Marriage Bores You — Now What?

10 tips for putting the fun back in your relationship

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6. Book it
Join a book club for couples and you're bound to discover at least one or two opinions you never knew your partner held. If you can't find such a group in your area, organize one yourself. (Or a couples movie club, or a couples theater club — you get the idea.) Unless you love Proust while he's a fan of Grisham, lively and positive exchanges will most likely return to your relationship.

7. Head for the hills
A couples retreat offers a more structured way to forge new bonds. These retreats may center around yoga, walking or discussion — even intimacy and sexuality — with all activities guided by a talented leader. Skeptical? Put your cynicism on hold and dive right in: Most couples return from a retreat feeling newly recommitted and regenerated, both personally and romantically.

8. Learn some new moves — between the sheets
It's natural to find a way of making love that's pleasurable and fulfilling, then do it the same way time after time. So if your sex life has become a little too predictable, get an instructional video and experiment with something new (or refine a few old favorites). Videos are available from Lovers.com, Babeland.com or Goodvibes.com, and the directions for use couldn't be simpler: Watch, learn, experiment, enjoy!

9. Get a makeover — no, make that two makeovers
Image may not be everything, but it's something, so consider tweaking yours. Go to an expert hair stylist and say, "I'd like to change my look." Or seek out a personal shopper at a department store and challenge him or her, "Make me look good!" (And don't shy away from clothes you wouldn't normally wear.) After your day of changes, meet for dinner at a restaurant and flirt. You'll be amazed how new clothes or new makeup can make you extra desirable to one another.

10. Take a second honeymoon
Plan a grand romantic celebration of your relationship. Whether it's at the beach, a national park or some more exotic locale, even the toniest resorts are motivated to offer major deals in the "shoulder seasons" when tourist traffic subsides. Do something wonderful to woo each other — and to remind yourselves how good it is to be not just parents or grandparents, but lovers.

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Video Extra

Great sex weekend! AARP relationships expert Pepper Schwartz offers tips for planning a weekend of great sex.

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