Staying Fit
Deborah Gaines and Jerry Ryan
How old when first met: Both 52
How they met: “We had seen each other around town,” Deborah says, “but formally met when he offered to fix a broken link on my website.”
First date: “Unofficially, wine on my porch after he fixed the website. Officially, two nights later at a restaurant and microbrewery.”
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How you knew he was “the one”: “A couple of months after we met, my son forgot his clarinet and called home to get someone to drop it off. Jerry heard the message, found the instrument and drove it to the middle school on his way to the office.”
The best thing about love later in life: “It’s a gift, pure and simple. No timetable, no agenda — just two people enjoying each other.”
The secret to lasting love: “Valuing what we have instead of wanting things to be perfect. I used to think if things went wrong, or if we didn’t always feel loving, that something was wrong with the relationship. Now I just let it all happen. Sometimes we drive each other crazy, but that doesn’t mean we love each other any less.”
Ron Hutchins and Richard Cameron
How they met: “We met at our local gay bar — Alibi,” says Richard, 53. “I was out with a friend. Ron walked by, and lightning hit me. I said to my friend, ‘That is the man I’m going to marry!’ I realize we couldn’t get married back then legally. But it was love at first sight for me."
First date: “Our first date didn’t go so well. Ron (who is 55) said he would come to my condo the following night after rehearsal (he’s a theater choreographer), but the lighting director’s flight was delayed, and Ron’s schedule became so late that I decided he’d bailed on me. I was already on one of the dating websites to find another date. I met a guy online who was knocking at my door. Then Ron showed up. Now there were three of us looking at each other, and Ron said, ‘I’m going to be a gentleman and just say goodnight.’ This could have been a deal breaker, but I got lucky. I called Ron the next morning, and he said, ‘You hurt my feelings.’ He told me the story of the late flight, and I felt like an ass. I made up for it, inviting him over for another meal.”
How you knew he was “the one”: “I knew we were destined to be together when Ron said ‘I’m going to be a gentleman and just say goodnight’ and ‘You hurt my feelings’.”
The best thing about love later in life: “It’s that you know what your breaking points are. You know if you can get through a difficult disagreement. You have a disagreement and know enough not to throw everything away that you have both wished for your entire lives. Sometimes one just has to give in and move on to the positive moments.”
The secret to lasting love: “It’s honesty. You are human. You are both going to mess up, but if you are honest you can get through anything! Love and true friendship is the key. Make date nights or ‘we time.’ Light candles, play favorite music, watch a movie in bed and share a special dinner with your favorite comfort foods. Enjoy the moment. Relationships over 50 are easier and more enjoyable. So when that AARP card comes in the mail, just know it’s the best time of your life!”
Robby and Treva Scharf
How old when first met: Robby was 56, and Treva was 50.
How they met: “We initially met on Facebook. Robby private messaged me in November 2012 about a mutual high school friend who was having problems and suggested we do an intervention,” Treva says. “We weren’t able to help our friend, but I remember thinking, What a nice guy to care so much. I was single at the time, going through breakup hell and depressed about turning 50, so I had my own problems to deal with. It was a real low point in my life.”
First date: “Since it appeared I was never getting married, I decided to throw myself a big 50th birthday bash in February 2013 to celebrate my singleness instead of having a pity party. I invited half of Facebook, including Robby. We met in person that night and went on a real date the following week.”
How you knew he was “the one”: “I knew he was the one because he drove the relationship without his foot on the brakes. He was direct, fearless and didn’t play games. He knew what he wanted, and he proceeded with confidence, even though he was a marriage virgin, too. I was able to sit back and enjoy the ride — which was a first because I was always in control when it comes to love. We got engaged six months after we met and got married nine months after that.”