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The Daters' Dictionary

11 definitions to help you navigate the dating world

Party: a social gathering that includes refreshments and conversation

Per Nancy:
1. a social gathering that includes the above, plus gathering intelligence on which single guests are available — and which married ones are about to become so

2. a social gathering that makes people without partners:

  • wish they were somewhere else — anywhere else
  • truly sorry they dumped their spouses

Rejection: a refusal to accept something offered

Per Nancy:
1. an invitation to take a flying leap (can be issued anywhere from at first sight to years down the pike)

2. any form of public humiliation, put-down or abuse (all are bright-red flags)

The two main types of rejection are:

Nonverbal

  • disappearing without a word
  • disappearing during dinner, a conversation or in bed
  • a look that lacks warmth
  • a lack of interest in closeness
  • a lock that's been changed
  • rushing around collecting all the CDs, underwear or whatever else you left at his or her place

Verbal

  • "It's not you, it's me"
  • "I need space"
  • "I need time"
  • "I need a spreadsheet to figure this out"
  • "I hope we can still be friends" (Ouch.)

Retread: to make over or try again

Per Nancy: trying once more because:

  •  the other person is available again
  •  the other person is still available
  • after other dates and relationships, you've realized that, in the grand scheme of things, the other person isn't such a creep
  • you've grown weary of the grand scheme of things

Space: an interval of time

Per Nancy:
1. an interval of time, preferably forever;

2. a living area for an ex, preferably in another state or on a different planet

Keeper: any person with whom you click, fit, wish to build a relationship and possibly even marry

Per Nancy: my second husband, Jonathan, whom I met online at 60 after decades of dating

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