The Daters' Dictionary

Perfect date: an appointment where everything clicks and not a single gaffe occurs

Per Nancy:
1. an oxymoron

2. an appointment that is customarily a figment of one's imagination (until the right person comes along)

3. an appointment where it turns out that the right person thinks you're not

Dateless: a condition that grants you time to sort out what you want in life

Per Nancy:
1. a condition that grants you time to give yourself a henna rinse, convert your photos to digital format and giggle with your friends about the jerks you've dated

2. a condition in which you ask yourself why no jerk is calling now that you've rinsed, converted and giggled

3. a condition to avoid in the last 10 minutes of Dec. 31 — or on the ramp of Noah's Ark

Foreplay: intimate acts between two people, designed to kindle sexual desire, arousal and activity

Per Nancy:
1. to men, any of the following:

• turning off the television first
• lowering the volume
• a mysterious practice that may require gentle instruction

2. to women (and some men), a long, sweet process that includes:

• kissing
• petting
• shedding clothes (yours and his)
• flinging said garments about the room
• touching
• exploring
• heavy breathing
• more kissing
• more touching
• to some women, all of the above — plus dinner!

"I'll call you, OK?" phrase uttered by a man to a woman on parting, whether they had sparks or a snooze

Per Nancy:
1. To women, "I'll call you" means just that

2. To men, "I'll call you" can mean:

•  "Maybe you'll hear from me, maybe you won't"
• "Expect to hear from me sometime between tomorrow night and next summer"
•  "I'll call you after the playoffs"
• "I'll be in touch — unless I lose your number or my nerve"

Next page: A one-word phrase for an invitation to take a flying leap. »