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5 Reasons to Call It Quits When Dating

Relationship deal-breakers — it's not about his mother anymore. It's much worse!

4. He has no sense of humor

Humor was my family's religion. We had big problems, but even bigger laughs. The men with whom I've connected since then aren't exactly stand-up comics, but they have all had a finely honed sense of the ridiculous.

I won't cite specific men here, but I think they know which camp they fall into. Those who never learned how to laugh quickly revealed that flaw — and were dubbed The Kiss of Dating Death.

5. He's a substance abuser

Sometimes it's in the eyes, sometimes in the lies. I once dated a man who was still taking Percocet for a root canal he'd had five months before. Having grown up in a family that would not go on vacation until we had polished off the milk in the fridge, I thought little of it at first: Might he simply have the same Waste-Not-Want-Not mentality?

Wasted he was: On our second date he left the movie theater for the men's room four times.

"Did you like the parts of the movie you saw?" I asked him afterward.

He sniffed and nodded.

"As much as the white stuff under your nose?" I said it loud enough for everyone in Cinemas 1 through 6 to hear. "Your coke is showing."

He smiled. "It offsets the Percocet. Wanna do a line?"

I did not. I left him standing in the lobby next to the popcorn, and never looked back.

Nancy Davidoff Kelton writes about dating after 50 for AARP.

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