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I’ve deliberately dated women close to my age for the past 15 years, and I believe boomer women make ideal dates, and mates, for boomer guys. Among the reasons:
I was reminded of this the night my date showed me an old photo with her in a tie-dyed T-shirt and frizzy brown hair, piled high and shooting in all directions. We giggled ourselves silly about our flower-powered pasts. It was the most enjoyable date I’d had in a long time — and it drove home the fact that when it comes to later-life dating, “Fun Is Job 1.”
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Boomer women have been through a lot. Many have taken a stand, marched for a cause, written letters to the editor or columns in print or online, demanded equality in the bedroom and stormed workplace barriers that blocked their economic progress. Being able to draw on that hard-won inner strength in a relationship makes them rock-solid partners in every way.
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Many women have raised great kids, job-hopped to make ends meet, volunteered in their communities, gone back to school and kept up long-standing friendships. No wonder they don’t cut and run at the first sign of trouble in a relationship! Grit, pith, character — call it what you like, these experiences make your dinner partner unlikely to run out of lively stories any time soon.
Nearly every boomer woman I’ve dated for more than one night has confessed “reporting back to base” — that is, to her tight-knit web of female friends — on the success of our outings. The trust and emotional-intimacy skills that a woman develops via her female friendships often prove transferable to her relationship with a guy. I wish every boomer guy could experience how sweet it is to be involved with a woman who’s not just your lover but also your best friend.
Advances in earning power have freed boomer women from worrying about a man’s net worth. Most guys see this as a great leap forward: We needn’t “save” a woman to win her heart, while she can choose a man from love, not economic necessity.
Both parties must invest time in a relationship if it is to thrive. That commodity is scarce to nonexistent in a woman’s child-rearing years, but it tends to reappear once she has successfully fledged her children. That means she (finally!) has the time required to devote to a relationship — and to you.
Ken Solin writes about dating for AARP.
Dr. Pepper Schwartz | Relationship Expert
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