Alert
Close

Top the Trizzle leaderboard by 5 p.m. Friday to win a $100 gift card! Learn more

Highlights

Open

Popular Articles

Viewed

FREE FUN!

AARP Games - Play Now!

Poll: Are You a Real Techie?

What You Shouldn't Say or Do on a First Date

To avoid first-date disasters, harness your impulses

Waging a gender war. You might think it sounds sophisticated to tell a woman, "I won't be doing this again because the sexes are equal now" as you open a door for her. But that's silly, not savvy. Being a gentleman — or, to depoliticize matters, acting polite — has nothing to do with gender equality; it's a gesture of respect. Most women appreciate good manners and like to feel feminine, and most guys like to reinforce those feelings.

Springing an ambush. Even if you're the second coming of Johnny Depp, planting a surprise kiss on your first date's lips is never a cool move. A first kiss occurs naturally — a treasured moment that couples refer to years down the road.

Purchasing affection. A successful first date requires balance, not bravado. So don't make a show of grabbing that first check. For starters, it's ostentatious. Worse, it can appear you're trying to buy a relationship. When things are just getting off the ground, it's logical to split the check or take turns paying for successive ones; that way neither party feels marginalized or obligated.

Acting cool. Forget about putting on an act, a mask or a show. Instead, just be yourself — and you'll be fine. The problem with trying to impress a first date, even if you succeed, is that no one can sustain that performance level. So practice the golden rule of dating: Show the same authenticity you'd like your partner to.

Rushing things. Wait until the end of the first date (or, ideally, after it) before you suggest a second. Any relationship develops more naturally when neither party has an agenda.

Tensing up. As often as necessary, order yourself to relax; you'll be much likelier to enjoy a first date when you do. The "primary mission objective," after all, is to have fun!

Also of Interest

See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more

Topic Alerts

You can get weekly email alerts on the topics below. Just click “Follow.”

Manage Alerts

Processing

Please wait...

progress bar, please wait

Video Extra

DATING YOUR OWN AGE: AARP dating expert Ken Solin chats with Today show co-hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb about why boomer men should date women who are around their same age.

 

Tell Us WhatYou Think

Please leave your comment below.

Discounts & Benefits

From companies that meet the high standards of service and quality set by AARP.

Grocery Coupon Center

Members can print savings coupons at the Grocery Coupon Center powered by Coupons.com.

AngiesList

Members can save 25% to 45% on their Angie's List membership.

Anna's Linens

Member save 10% every day at Anna's Linens and AnnasLinens.com.

Member Benefits

Join or renew today! Members receive exclusive member benefits & affect social change.