My family members don’t agree about how best to care for our loved one. What is the best way to work through this?

Talk with your parents, and decide what’s needed and plan who can take on what responsibilities. To make things flow more easily, write down schedules, and give all those involved a copy.

There are different ways that family members can help. Even a sibling who lives far away can pay bills, research agencies or call regularly. People with small kids at home can cook meals occasionally or bring the children along for visits.

Every adult child should be aware that how well he or she works with siblings during the caregiving years will shape their interactions forever after. Long after the parent has died, everyone distinctly remembers — and judges — how each person behaved.
 
Every few months the situation may change, so reassess by gathering those directly involved in caregiving for a family meeting. Choose a neutral party to moderate if necessary, and have a clear agenda for each meeting.

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