Elinor Ginzler: You certainly are dealing with a lot right now. A support group would be a great idea. And if you can't get to one in person, AARP has an online support group for you. You will find that it is amazing to share with others and get support from folks who know what you're going through.
Comment From Michele: Is there any help available (Medicare, etc.) to help pay for home care? I have been caring for my mother, but now need to go back to work to earn some money. She does not have long-term care insurance.
Elinor Ginzler: Michelle, here is a helpful website to find out what benefits your mother might be eligible for. It might be home care or other community programs. Here is our Benefits QuickLINK.
Comment From Adrienne Gruberg: What language can I use to get a parent to realize that having their child as a cosigner on bank accounts is to their benefit. It's a control issue, but it's just for emergencies.
Elinor Ginzler: Adrienne, I'm so glad you recognize that it is very hard for older parents to share financial information with their adult children. If your parent is not comfortable with you on the account, there are other steps you can take. We have lots of information on working with families on financial matters. Here's one article, but you'll find many more on our site.
Comment From Guest: My husband is an only child, and we live on the East Coast. His aging parents are on the West Coast. We would like to move them in with us, but people are telling us that it would be too shocking for them. As it is, they are 92 and 93 and are quite feeble. How do I get them to agree to make the move, and is it wise?
Elinor Ginzler: I think we would all agree that moving is a big deal, even when it's the right thing to do. It's a really good idea to think this through and talk it through thoroughly before acting. You need to understand their situation to determine the best options. Start by assessing the situation and by talking with them lots. Check out this article on "How to Assess Your Loved One's Situation."
There's no one right or wrong answer. The better you understand the situation, the better everyone will be.
Comment From Patricia: Does Medicare offer help for assisted living payments?