Help pack a million meals for struggling seniors on 9-11. Volunteer today

AARP The Magazine

Is It Time to Find a New Doctor?

From too-quick exams to a tone-deaf bedside manner, your physician may be signaling that he's not right for you. Here's how to know when to shop around

Does your Doctor deserve you (Dan Saelinger)

Even a good physician-patient relationship can turn dysfunctional over time. — Photo by Dan Saelinger

En español l Thirteen years ago, Kathleen O'Brien's mother, Dolly, passed out during a regular medical checkup. Her doctor shrugged it off. "This is what happens to people when they get older," Kathleen recalls the physician saying. "I thought to myself, 'Not to my mom.' "

Subscribe to the AARP Health Newsletter

Dolly, then 79, had been a patient at her neighborhood practice in Minneapolis for more than 20 years, but Kathleen was concerned about the care she was getting, especially knowing that her family has a history of strokes and heart disease. She quickly found a new physician, who took her mom's symptoms seriously. That same doctor treated Dolly until she died late last year at the age of 91. "We had our mom for 12-plus more years because of him," says Kathleen, who credits him for her mother's good health until the end.

Dolly's original doctor was no quack, but even a good physician-patient relationship can turn dysfunctional over time. "Doctors may have the best of intentions, but their model of practice may no longer fit what you need," says Zaldy S. Tan, M.D., a geriatrician at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Medical musical chairs

In any given year about 10 percent of patients at least consider switching doctors, says Gerald Hickson, M.D., who directs Vanderbilt University's Center for Patient and Professional Advocacy. In one two-year study, 15 percent of patients moved to different practices because of dissatisfaction with the care they were receiving.

One reason may simply be that patients today have come to expect a higher level of care, says Sandy Reifsteck, director of the Office of Development and Quality Outcomes at the Institute for Healthcare Communication. Patients tend to be armed with more information about health care, either through news stories or after having researched their condition over the Internet. These more-savvy health care consumers also want physicians whose treatment philosophies are more in tune with their own lifestyles and choices.

More often than not, the reason for patient dissatisfaction comes down to poor communication, Reifsteck says. "Patients don't really know how to evaluate medical skills, but they do know if a physician interrupts them when they're listing their concerns."

Take Walter Wurfel, a retired journalist whose first encounter with a neurologist not long after being diagnosed with Parkinson's was less than ideal. Wurfel had brought along a list of books about Parkinson's that were available at his local Northern Virginia library, hoping the physician would recommend a few.

"At the end of the appointment I handed him the list, asking his advice. He looked at it for a minute and said, 'These books are not for doctors; they're for patients,' " remembers Wurfel, now 76. "I said, 'That's why I'm asking.' He looked at me and replied, 'Face up to it; you've been diagnosed with Parkinson's. Deal with it.' I decided I needed a doctor with a better bedside manner."

Too much talking, too little listening

Patient-physician communication can be further hampered by age, says geriatrics researcher Nancy Sin, Ph.D., of the University of California, San Francisco. Her dissertation focused on doctors' communication with patients over 60. She found that if a younger spouse or child accompanies an older patient, the doctor might ignore the patient entirely, discussing treatment in the third person.

"Doctors tend to be more egalitarian with younger patients, sharing the decision making with the patient," says Sin. Plus, many doctors may focus only on physical symptoms, without addressing psychological or social concerns, like whether the patient has the transportation to get to a medical test.

Next page: How to know if your doctor isn't "the one." »

Topic Alerts

You can get weekly email alerts on the topics below. Just click “Follow.”

Manage Alerts


Please wait...

progress bar, please wait


ALZHEIMER'S AWARENESS: Dr. Nancy Snyderman visits with actress Marlo Thomas and share tips on how to keep Alzheimer's at bay.

Tell Us WhatYou Think

Please leave your comment below.


Discounts & Benefits

From companies that meet the high standards of service and quality set by AARP.

Walgreens 1 discount membership aarp

Members can earn 50 points per $1 spent on select health & wellness products at Walgreens.

member benefit aarp hear usa

Members save 15% on easy listening devices and more at the HearUSA Hearing Shop.

Eye Med 4 Membership Benefit AARP Discount

Members save up to 60% on eye exams and 30% on glasses at Target Optical.

Membership Benefits Discounts Email Genius

Brain boost? Get AARP email for access to memory exercises & more that help you focus.