To Cook a Turkey Safely, Do Not Begin by Thawing It in the Bathtub

To mark the 30th anniversary of the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, here are some of the more memorable moments from the nearly 3 million calls answered by the turkey experts:

Call Antiques Roadshow: After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his dad's freezer, an Alabama man called the Talk-Line to ask about the best way to cook the 30-plus-year-old bird. The staffer suggested the first step might be to purchase a fresher fowl.

You're never too old to learn: A woman in her 70s, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, called for help because her mother said she was tired of cooking and it was time her daughter learned how to prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

This side up: A disappointed woman called wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. After talking with a Talk-Line staffer, it became apparent that the woman's turkey was merely upside down.

Rinse well, do not lather: A first-time Thanksgiving chef called on Thanksgiving morning in tears. She had successfully thawed her turkey and then rinsed it … with dish soap. She was crying because the turkey wouldn't stop sudsing.

Chainsaw massacre: A man called to say that he had cut his turkey in half using a chainsaw and wanted to know if the oil from the chain would adversely affect the turkey.