The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce At Midlife and Beyond

By: Xenia Montenegro, AARP Knowledge Management; Source: AARP Policy and Research Date Posted: 2004-05-01 00:00:00-04:00

Research Report

Xenia Montenegro, AARP Knowledge Management

May 2004

Many midlife events cause turmoil. Children leave the nest, a major illness comes, a parent passes on--and for some, divorce ends a long marriage. This report is the first of its kind to document what has become a common experience among midlife and older adults. It examines the circumstances surrounding divorce at midlife and it impact on men and women. The report also discusses coping behaviors, well-being after divorce, and sexuality.

The respondents were 1,147 people ages 40-79 who had divorced between the ages of 40 and 70: 581 men and 566 women. Some of the findings are as follows:

  • People age 40 or older generally feel that divorce is more emotionally devastating than losing a job, about equal to experiencing a major illness, and nearly as devastating as a spouse's death.

  • Verbal, physical, or emotional abuse leads the list of causes of divorce, followed by differences in values and lifestyles, cheating, and alcohol or drug abuse.

  • People face many fears with divorce, and greatest among them is the fear of being alone, named by almost half (45%) of the respondents.

  • African Americans are less fearful than whites of financial hardship, of failing again, and of not finding someone after their divorce.

  • Despite the worry, torment, and fear they go through in making the decision and going through the divorce process, divorcees cope fairly well with life after divorce. Three in four (76%) claim they made the right decision in divorcing. Their buzzwords are "freedom," "self-identity," and "fulfillment."

The interviews were conducted during December 2003 by Knowledge Networks, using its web-enabled consumer research panel, a randomly recruited and nationally representative sample of the U.S. population. The report was prepared by Xenia Montenegro, Ph.D. of AARP Knowledge Management. For further information, contact Dr. Montenegro at 202-434-3538 or Linda Fisher, Ph.D. at 202-434-6304.

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