Kellie Pickler: Advocate for Grandfamilies
Country Music Star Brings Grandparenting Center Stage
By: Jessica Leshnoff | Source: AARP.org | Date Posted:
- Kellie Pickler Brings Grandparenting Center Stage
- Rally Raises Consciousness of Grandfamilies
- GrandRally on Capitol Hill
- Join the GrandRally Online Discussion Group
- Grandparents Continue Fight for Visitation Rights at State Courts
- AARP Radio: Grandparents Parenting
- 2000 Census Data on Grandparent-Headed Households
- GrandCare Toolkit
It's hard for country music star Kellie Pickler to put her finger on what she misses most about her late grandmother. Whether they were whispering secrets to one another or cheering for contestants on “The Price is Right,” the duo was inseparable—best friends, in fact—throughout Pickler's life until her grandmother’s death nearly eight years ago. Her absence has left a hole in the singer's heart that no amount of success, awards, or top–10 hits will ever fill.
Today has been a particularly trying day for Pickler. An all-day photo shoot and a string of interviews has left the singer, known as much for her bubbly, happy-go-lucky attitude as for her remarkable voice, raspy and exhausted. But hearing a single mention of hard rock (She's a huge fan: "I loooove rock music," she gushes contagiously, in her sweet Southern drawl. "Oh, I love it.") or her beloved grandparents, and she perks right up.
The close relationship she's had with her grandparents isn't coincidental. She was raised by Clyde and Faye Pickler, her paternal grandparents, on and off throughout her life, in their hometown of Albemarle, N.C. Now 21, the singer—a finalist on season five of Fox TV’s popular “American Idol” competition—is an advocate for grandparents raising grandchildren.
The Pickler family is not alone: Between 1990 and 2000, there was a 30-percent jump in the number of children living in grandparent-headed households.
Since she burst into the spotlight two years ago, Pickler—who will perform at the third National GrandRally on Capitol Hill, co-sponsored by AARP, on May 7—has never kept her troubled childhood a secret. Instead, she's become a role model for children in non-traditional families, and now, for grandparents raising grandchildren in a world that seems to change faster every day.
After her parents split when Pickler was just two years old, her mother promptly left her in the care of her alcoholic father, Clyde "Bo" Pickler. When he was drinking, doing drugs, or serving a stint in prison, she lived with her grandparents.
"It was the most stability I ever had," she says, thinking back to her many years in their care. "It was really hard for them, because most elderly people, they've already raised kids, they're ready to retire, and they only draw a certain amount of income per year. My grandmother wasn't able to work. She was disabled [with severe rheumatoid arthritis and gout]. She just wasn't very healthy. Medical bills and prescription drugs and the house and utilities and everything adds up. My grandpa never really officially got to retire. He had to work jobs on the side. But I never had to do without."
Money may have been tight while Pickler was growing up in her multi-generational family, but despite their age difference, something they never lacked was understanding.
Generation gaps are hard enough to navigate for parents and children. Add a couple, or even three decades to that, and miscommunication—be it over a risqué myspace page, dating, grades, or text-messaging at the dinner table—can run rampant. Pickler's' tried-and-true advice to beat even the deepest generation gaps comes down to a single word: communication.
"I think that's the most important thing—to know that you can talk about anything," she says with certainty. "I knew I could go to my grandma with anything in the world. Whether I'd done something bad or good or whatever, I could go and tell her. I think it's about having that friendship."
"It's important that you have a solid relationship," she continues. "My grandma was my best friend, and I think it's all about having that communication with each other to understand what the other's going through. I know it was a little bit of a struggle for my grandparents. Because they wanted me to be happy, but still, they wanted me to be good. We always had a line of communication. You have to so you know what the other one's thinking and going through with their feelings."
Pickler may be racking up awards (She won more than any single artist at this year's Country Music Television Awards for her debut album, Small Town Girl) and writing hit songs, but that doesn't stop Clyde Sr. from doling out grandfatherly advice.
"My grandpa, every time I talk to him, he still tells me when I get off the phone with him, he's like– " she stops to catch her breath from laughter, playfully deepening her voice to imitate him, "'Be a good girl. Be good.'"
And she is good. The vivacious blonde admits she was never a problem child. In high school, she threw herself into activities like cheerleading, dance, and theatre, but music always prevailed over everything else. She grew up wanting to be the next Dolly Parton, and her grandparents continuously supported her dreams.
The young performer's biggest blow came during her sophomore year of high school, when her grandmother died. And while Faye Pickler wasn't here to cheer her granddaughter on during her American Idol performances, the Southern diva’s sure she's looking down fondly upon her success.
"I think she'd just be happy that I kind of broke the cycle in my family," she says. "She'd just be happy that I'm happy. She'd be proud."
Pickler may have finally met her idol—"Dolly," as she calls her—and she may live in Nashville, the sparkling home of country music, but the small-town girl hasn't forgotten her roots or close-knit family. She paid homage to her grandmother by not only dedicating the album to her, but also by closing the record with a song, “My Angel,” which Pickler wrote especially for Faye.
"You were like my mother/You were my best friend," she sings. "You were everything I want to be/And all the good inside of me/There's never been/Never been another/That loved me like you did/My grandmother, my angel."
In a country where newer is almost always better, Pickler says she feels senior citizens are underappreciated—grandparents in particular. Her grandmother was the biggest influence on her life; "the glue that held us together," is how she describes her grandmother’s relationship with the extended family. "After she passed away, everybody kind of went their own direction."
She may be all grown up, but it’s the tender memory of her grandparents' home that keeps her grounded and warmhearted as she jet-sets around the world. Looking back, she sees it wasn't the things she grew up doing with her grandparents, but the time they spent together.
"I was a normal kid," she says of her childhood. "We just spent quality time together. We didn't necessarily have to be going anywhere. Because if you're in good company, you could be doing anything in the world or nothing at all."
Today has been a particularly trying day for Pickler. An all-day photo shoot and a string of interviews has left the singer, known as much for her bubbly, happy-go-lucky attitude as for her remarkable voice, raspy and exhausted. But hearing a single mention of hard rock (She's a huge fan: "I loooove rock music," she gushes contagiously, in her sweet Southern drawl. "Oh, I love it.") or her beloved grandparents, and she perks right up.
The close relationship she's had with her grandparents isn't coincidental. She was raised by Clyde and Faye Pickler, her paternal grandparents, on and off throughout her life, in their hometown of Albemarle, N.C. Now 21, the singer—a finalist on season five of Fox TV’s popular “American Idol” competition—is an advocate for grandparents raising grandchildren.
The Pickler family is not alone: Between 1990 and 2000, there was a 30-percent jump in the number of children living in grandparent-headed households.
Since she burst into the spotlight two years ago, Pickler—who will perform at the third National GrandRally on Capitol Hill, co-sponsored by AARP, on May 7—has never kept her troubled childhood a secret. Instead, she's become a role model for children in non-traditional families, and now, for grandparents raising grandchildren in a world that seems to change faster every day.
After her parents split when Pickler was just two years old, her mother promptly left her in the care of her alcoholic father, Clyde "Bo" Pickler. When he was drinking, doing drugs, or serving a stint in prison, she lived with her grandparents.
"It was the most stability I ever had," she says, thinking back to her many years in their care. "It was really hard for them, because most elderly people, they've already raised kids, they're ready to retire, and they only draw a certain amount of income per year. My grandmother wasn't able to work. She was disabled [with severe rheumatoid arthritis and gout]. She just wasn't very healthy. Medical bills and prescription drugs and the house and utilities and everything adds up. My grandpa never really officially got to retire. He had to work jobs on the side. But I never had to do without."
Money may have been tight while Pickler was growing up in her multi-generational family, but despite their age difference, something they never lacked was understanding.
Generation gaps are hard enough to navigate for parents and children. Add a couple, or even three decades to that, and miscommunication—be it over a risqué myspace page, dating, grades, or text-messaging at the dinner table—can run rampant. Pickler's' tried-and-true advice to beat even the deepest generation gaps comes down to a single word: communication.
"I think that's the most important thing—to know that you can talk about anything," she says with certainty. "I knew I could go to my grandma with anything in the world. Whether I'd done something bad or good or whatever, I could go and tell her. I think it's about having that friendship."
"It's important that you have a solid relationship," she continues. "My grandma was my best friend, and I think it's all about having that communication with each other to understand what the other's going through. I know it was a little bit of a struggle for my grandparents. Because they wanted me to be happy, but still, they wanted me to be good. We always had a line of communication. You have to so you know what the other one's thinking and going through with their feelings."
Pickler may be racking up awards (She won more than any single artist at this year's Country Music Television Awards for her debut album, Small Town Girl) and writing hit songs, but that doesn't stop Clyde Sr. from doling out grandfatherly advice.
"My grandpa, every time I talk to him, he still tells me when I get off the phone with him, he's like– " she stops to catch her breath from laughter, playfully deepening her voice to imitate him, "'Be a good girl. Be good.'"
And she is good. The vivacious blonde admits she was never a problem child. In high school, she threw herself into activities like cheerleading, dance, and theatre, but music always prevailed over everything else. She grew up wanting to be the next Dolly Parton, and her grandparents continuously supported her dreams.
The young performer's biggest blow came during her sophomore year of high school, when her grandmother died. And while Faye Pickler wasn't here to cheer her granddaughter on during her American Idol performances, the Southern diva’s sure she's looking down fondly upon her success.
"I think she'd just be happy that I kind of broke the cycle in my family," she says. "She'd just be happy that I'm happy. She'd be proud."
Pickler may have finally met her idol—"Dolly," as she calls her—and she may live in Nashville, the sparkling home of country music, but the small-town girl hasn't forgotten her roots or close-knit family. She paid homage to her grandmother by not only dedicating the album to her, but also by closing the record with a song, “My Angel,” which Pickler wrote especially for Faye.
"You were like my mother/You were my best friend," she sings. "You were everything I want to be/And all the good inside of me/There's never been/Never been another/That loved me like you did/My grandmother, my angel."
In a country where newer is almost always better, Pickler says she feels senior citizens are underappreciated—grandparents in particular. Her grandmother was the biggest influence on her life; "the glue that held us together," is how she describes her grandmother’s relationship with the extended family. "After she passed away, everybody kind of went their own direction."
She may be all grown up, but it’s the tender memory of her grandparents' home that keeps her grounded and warmhearted as she jet-sets around the world. Looking back, she sees it wasn't the things she grew up doing with her grandparents, but the time they spent together.
"I was a normal kid," she says of her childhood. "We just spent quality time together. We didn't necessarily have to be going anywhere. Because if you're in good company, you could be doing anything in the world or nothing at all."
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