Grandfathers Are Special

By: Source: AARP.org Date Posted: 2007-01-31 16:03:00-05:00

Grandparenting used to be "women's work." Or at least that's what most of us thought. Thank goodness we were wrong!

In the "old days," it was grandma who went to stay with her daughter's family when a new baby was born. Grandma taught the new parents how to change a diaper and warm a bottle. She cuddled the new baby. She knitted the baby blanket. She cooked and baked for the older grandchildren. Later, she taught those children how to cook and bake. Along the way, she read them stories and sang them songs.

Where was grandpa while all this was going on? He might have been at work, or outside doing chores. He probably wanted to play a bigger role in his grandchild's life. Maybe he didn't know how. Perhaps he didn't feel comfortable with all that cuddling, cooking and babysitting. Maybe he didn't feel welcome in the nursery. Or maybe, like the rest of us, he thought grandparenting was his wife's job.

Fortunately, grandfathers are coming out of the shadows. They've been liberated! They're learning that there's a lot more to grandparenting than baking cookies and knitting blankets. They've realized that grandfathers have valuable gifts to give to their grandchildren-gifts that not even grandma can give.

The Grandparent Team

Children can never have too many grandparents! Grandmas and grandpas both have special gifts to share with their younger family members. Both can shower love on their grandchildren. Both can spoil those kids if they want! Grandmas and grandpas can both spend quality time with grandsons and granddaughters. Both can pass along stories about their childhoods and their family's history. Both can teach values that will help grandchildren choose between right and wrong. Face it. Together, grandma and grandpa are a powerful team!

Grandpa's Special Gifts

Grandmothers and grandfathers are different in lots of ways. This is good news for grandchildren. It makes life more interesting. And it multiplies the benefits that children can get from their grandparents. There are certain gifts that feel best when they come from grandmothers. But grandfathers also have unique qualities and life experiences that make them very special to their grandchildren.

For one thing, most grandfathers can tell great stories about their lives. Kids will think these stories are exciting, even if they don't seem that exciting to adults. Have you had interesting jobs during your life? Enchant your grandkids with stories about being a fireman, a policeman, or a construction worker. Did you travel for your job? Share your tales about far-away places. Men who served in the armed forces can make history come alive for their grandkids. A painter, plumber or salesman can tickle a grandchild's funny bone with stories about the wacky customers he's served over the years.

Children will recall these stories for many years to come. They'll also remember sharing a grandfather's special hobbies and teaching grandpa about their own hobbies. This kind of give-and-take helps create bonds between grandfathers and grandchildren. Are sports your thing? Tell your grandson and granddaughter about your favorite sport. Learn about the sports they play. Go to their games. Take them to your games. Do you fish or hunt? Bring your grandchild along the next time you go. Do you collect things? Tell your grandchild why you love your cars, baseball cards or trains. They'll probably come to love them too.

Grandfathers as Role Models

You can teach your grandchildren important lessons about life just by being yourself. Do you do volunteer work? That teaches your grandchildren how to be good citizens. Do you cook or do laundry? You're showing grandsons that gender roles don't have to be set in stone. Are you good at fixing or making things? Show grandchildren this side of you, and they'll also learn how patience, problem solving, and perseverance can result in some beautiful creations. Are you a good listener? Listen to your grandchildren and you'll show them how much you love them and value what they have to say.

A Two-Way Street

Being a grandfather isn't all giving. You get a great deal in return. Spending time with grandchildren can be a lot of fun. Let these youngsters into your heart and you'll soon feel younger in mind and body. Share your wisdom with them and you'll be able to leave a lasting mark on your family's future generations. A grandfather couldn't ask for more.

AARP Resources

  • Family Crystal
    Comedian Billy Crystal talks about becoming a grandfather.
  • Bill Chills
    Comedian and author Bill Cosby reflects on his life, career, and role as a grandfather.

Additional Resources

  • What About Grandfathers?
    Ohio State University's Extension Services talks about grandfathers' roles as sounding boards and developers of values and how grandfathers can connect with grandchildren.
  • Fathers.com. Check out this Web site for a host of articles about being a grandfather.
  • Tips for Grandfathers. Author Conrad Brown suggests ways to make a visit with grandpa fun and exciting for grandchildren.
  • Twenty Ways to be an Amazing Grandfather. Use your imagination to amaze your grandchildren.

Books

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