Finding Help to Raise a Grandchild

Grandparents Raising Grandkids

Source: AARP.org | December 1, 2003

Are you a grandparent raising a grandchild? More than 2.4 million grandparents are doing the same thing you are. They stepped in at a moment's notice when their families needed help. They put their own plans on hold. They decided to take care of their grandchildren when the parents of those children could not.

These grandparents are probably a lot like you. The majority are younger than 60. Many feel all alone. And most don't know where to get the help they need.

There are so many issues to think about when you begin to raise a grandchild. This overview will help you find some tips on how to best address these issues and learn who can help.

Your Legal Status

Some grandparents ask the courts to make them legal guardians for the grandchild they are raising. This allows them to make important decisions for the child. They can enroll the child in school. They can give permission for a doctor to treat the child. They can sometimes get help to pay the bills. Ask an attorney to help you decide what legal status is best for you and your grandchild.

Your Finances

Don't use your savings to pay your extra bills. Instead, see if you can get assistance from government programs. They are there to help you. Your grandchild may be able to get Social Security. He or she may be eligible to get money from your state's Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program. Your family might qualify for food stamps. Ask the IRS about the Earned Income Tax Credit and the Child Tax Credit. Both programs can give you extra cash at tax time.

Your Housing

The home you thought was so cozy may seem too crowded after grandkids move in. Maybe you live in an apartment that doesn't allow young children. Perhaps your landlord won't let more people live in your apartment. Or maybe the home you own is just too small. What will you do? Will you have to move? Where? All of these issues can give you a major headache. There aren't any simple solutions. But there is some hope. Many groups around the country are working hard to develop special housing for grand-families. And financial products like reverse mortgages can give you the cash you need to make your home more comfortable and child friendly.

Your Grandchild's Education

Check with your local school to find out how to enroll your grandchild. Some states won't let you enroll a child unless you have legal custody. In other states, you only need to show that your grandchild lives with you. After your grandchild is enrolled, get to know the child's teacher. Tell the teacher about your grandchild's living situation. And be sure to speak up if you think your grandchild needs special services to help him or her do better in school.

Your Grandchild's Health

A grandchild with a serious medical condition can bring hefty medical bills along when he or she comes to stay. But even a healthy grandchild needs regular check-ups and immunizations. These cost money. How will you pay the bills? You may be able to get help from the Medicaid program. Medicaid pays heath care bills for people with low incomes. Your grandchild may also be able to get benefits from the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Each state has a CHIP program. CHIP pays for doctor visits, hospital stays, shots, and medicines.

Your Health

Now that you are raising your grandchildren, you must take extra steps to protect your own health. If you do this, you will feel better. You will also be able to "be there" for your grandchild for many years to come. Take time each day to relax. Ask for help from friends and relatives. Find a day care provider so you can get a break from caregiving. Get regular checkups and take your prescribed medicines. Join a support group. And tell your doctors if you feel depressed. They can help.

The issues facing grand-families are many. But there are also many people out there who understand what you're going through and want to help. Remember, you are not alone!

AARP Resources

Legal Issues for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
AARP outlines the legal options open to grandparents raising grandchildren and how to get the legal help you need.

Housing Issues When Grandchildren Move In
Housing can be a major challenge. Fortunately, help may be on the way.  

Helping Your Grandchild Succeed in School
Tips on school enrollment, the first day, learning disabilities, and more.

Finding Health Insurance for Your Grandchild
How to apply for help from Medicaid or your state’s Children's Health Insurance Program.

Raising Grandchildren? Take Care of Yourself Too!
Tips to help you take better care of yourself so you can take better care of your grandchild.  

Other Resources

Benefits QuickLINK
AARP Foundation’s online tool, Benefits QuickLINK, helps Grandfamilies find out if they or the children they are raising are eligible for any of the 15 most important public benefits for older Americans and families with children.

Legal Help
The American Bar Association can help you find legal help.  

Legal Options
Generations United explains some legal options.

WIC
How to get food and nutrition assistance.  

School Lunches
Information about the National School Lunch Program.  

Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP)
Information on state children's health insurance programs and how to contact them.  

Books

Find these books online at Borders.com.

"Grandparents as Parents: A Survival Guide for Raising a Second Family"
Sylvie de Toledo and Deborah Edler-Brown, Guilford Publications, Inc., July 1995.

"Let's Talk About Living with a Grandparent"
Susan Kent, Rosen Publishing Group Inc., January 2003.  

"Extra Parent: How Grandparents Are Helping out, Pitching in, and Raising Their Grandchildren"
Elaine Denholtz, iUniverse, Incorporated, December 2003.