The Long Goodbye

By Gail Sheehy

Inevitably, there will be times that you will likely feel: Why can't you die? Enough already. Then, of course, you'll feel guilty for thinking such a thing. But it is entirely human and predictable.

No one can answer your most burning question: How long? It's important at this turning to have end-of-life conversations.

Encourage your loved one to talk about fears and wishes and goals. What kind of activities give him or her pleasure? And what kind of medical interventions does he want—or want stopped? Hard as it may be, follow your loved one's wishes. This is his or her death, not yours. You are on a different journey.