Succeeding in School
At first, the idea of sending children to school sounds pretty appealing, doesn't it? You imagine scooting the kids out the door each morning. Someone else looks after them all day long. And you're free until they come home in the afternoon. Sound good?
Unfortunately, the school years aren't as easy as they sound. Far from it. Making sure that your grandchildren do well in school could be the biggest challenge you'll face over the next few years. But guiding those children through school could also be one of the most rewarding parts of raising your second family.
What are the keys to success? They're simple.
- Take an active role in your grandchildren's education.
- Get to know the people who are teaching them.
- Take advantage of the services that your school offers to you and your family.
- Find out how you can help the school do its job.
- Work closely with your grandchildren to make sure they have all the tools they need to succeed.
Enrolling the Child
Enrolling your grandchild in school may be the first big challenge you face. That's because many school districts won't let grandparents enroll a child unless they are that child's legal guardians.
Sixteen states have taken action to change these rules. As a result, enrolling a child in school will be easy in some states. If you live in California, for example, all you do is sign a special form and send it to your school. But if you live in Tennessee you'll have to get a parent to grant you a power of attorney for the child. As you can see, each state law is different. Check with your local school to find out what rules apply to you.
The First Day
Have you already enrolled your grandchild? Great! Now the fun can begin. But first, you and your grandchild must get through the first day of school.
The first day of school is hard for any child. A child who has experienced a family trauma may have an even harder time separating from you. Be patient and upbeat. But be honest, too. Tell your grandchild what a wonderful time he or she will have at school. Warn the child that there will be moments when he or she will want to be home with you. Assure the child that these feelings are normal, and that they will pass. Knowing this will help your grandchild cope with homesickness.
Talking with the Teacher
Your grandchild's teacher could be your strongest ally during the school year. Introduce yourself to this teacher early in the year. Ask the teacher to give you ideas about how you can support your young student.
It's okay to tell the teacher about your grandchild's family background. But don't feel that you have to reveal every detail. Just tell the teacher what you feel comfortable sharing. This information will help the teacher understand your grandchild.
Your grandchild may need some extra help as he or she adjusts to living with you and going to a new school. Ask your grandchild's teacher about tutoring or after-school programs that can help the child keep up with school work. Find out if the school offers counseling and other services to help your grandchild cope with his or her feelings about what has happened in your family. Don't hesitate to use these services. Emotional issues play a big role in school success. It's best to address them early.
Helping Your Grandchild Succeed
You can do lots of things at home to help a grandchild succeed in school. Remember, your grandchild doesn't have to get all A's. But you should be satisfied that the child is working hard and doing the best that he or she can. Try these tips:
- Take an interest when your grandchild tells you about school. Look at the work that the child brings home. Ask questions about it.
- Provide a special place for doing homework. Set aside a certain period of time each day when your grandchild must do homework. Don't allow TV or video games until homework is done.
- Read to your grandchild. Encourage him or her to read, too. Make frequent trips to the library. Remember, readers do better in school!
- Broaden your grandchild's experiences. Take your grandchild to museums, exhibits and science fairs. Sometimes the best learning takes place outside the classroom.
- Don't criticize teachers—or even school—in front of your grandchild. Does a child complain about something the teacher or school is doing? Thank the child for sharing. Promise to follow up on the issue. But don't join in the criticism. That won't solve the problem. Instead, it will encourage the child to be disrespectful.
Volunteering
Volunteer at school. You'll be glad you did. Being in the classroom can help you understand better what today's schools are like. It will also show your grandchildren that school is important, and that you are interested in what they are doing. An added bonus: you'll have lots to talk about when your grandchildren come home at the end of the day.
Special Needs
Do you think that your grandchild has a learning disability? Ask your public school to evaluate the child. After the evaluation, a special group will meet to decide if the child can get special education services. You can-and should-take part in this decision-making group.
Every child who receives special education services must have an Individualized Education Program, or IEP. The IEP sets goals that your grandchild should reach during the next year. It also describes the services that the school district will give the child. A team develops the IEP. Be sure you are a part of this team. You know your grandchild very well. The school needs to know your concerns.
AARP Resources
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Cos and
Effect
Comedian Bill Cosby is passionate about education. Read this interview with Cosby to find out how that passion influences his work. -
Learning and Technology
When your grandchildren go to school, they'll learn to use computers. Isn't it time that you learned about computers, too? Check out AARP's technology Web pages, where you can get computing tips, read reviews of the latest software, and learn to use the Internet. -
Baby Boomers Hold Their High School Years in High
Regard
In this AARP report, Baby Boomers look back on their own high school experience, and talk about how their own children are doing in public high school.
Other Resources
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Helping
Children Succeed in School
The University of Illinois Extension has developed this online guide to helping children do well in school. -
Helping
Your Child Become a Reader
This booklet, published by the U.S. Department of Education, gives you information about how you can use your language skills to build your child's skills. -
NEA
Resources
The National Education Association offers guides on helping your student get the most out of homework, helping your child with today's math, raising scientifically literate children, and improving school achievement.
Books
Find these books online at Barnes & Noble.com
- " " I Hate School: How to Help Your Child Love Learning," Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, Zondervan, March 2004
- " Nolo's IEP Guide: Learning Disabilities," Lawrence M. Siegel, Nolo, December 2003
