Balancing Work and Caregiving
You have a stressful deadline at work, and your father woke you up every night this week. The home nurse didn't come on time, and your supervisor asked why you were late to work again. Between taking your mother to doctor's visits and responding to crises, you've missed a lot of work. Your parent needs full-time care, but you can't afford to quit your job or take time off. You feel you're letting your coworkers down.
If you care for an older parent, those stories sound familiar. You face problems like them every day. At times you're distracted on the job, emotionally drained, and physically exhausted. Work is a financial necessity, but caring for parents or others often conflicts with doing your job well.
Support from Your Employer
Nearly 22 million American workers are caregivers for their parents or loved ones. They care a lot about their jobs. They also take their family commitments seriously. Naturally, family caregiving sometimes interferes with workplace responsibilities. Despite this, a recent study of the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP found that most employers are sympathetic to these caregiving demands. However, many workers are reluctant to be open with their supervisors about their caregiving responsibilities. They fear it will affect their job security or career prospects.
Some companies provide support for caregivers because they are concerned about the bottom-line impact of employee caregiving. They pitch in to help caregivers because they know that decreased productivity isn't good for business. For example, some have programs that give information and referral to community services such as counseling, respite care, or legal assistance. Some provide financial assistance for using such services as adult day care. Other benefits may include workplace caregiver support groups, paid leave for caregiver activities, or flexible time policies. But many working caregivers are on their own.
Since 1993, federal law offers some support for working caregivers through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). This allows eligible workers up to 12 weeks a year of unpaid leave for family caregiving without loss of job security or health benefits. Although valuable, FMLA does not help those who cannot afford to take unpaid leave. It also has restrictions, such as company size and the amount of time a worker has been employed that keep many from being covered.
Coping with Double Demands
Balancing work and family is never easy. Each working caregiver's job is different and, even within the same company, different managers may be more or less supportive of you. But there are effective things to do that can help you better manage your caregiving and work responsibilities. Consider the following suggestions and adapt those that might work for you:
- Learn your company's policy about caregiving and whether there is an Employee Assistance Program. If you are uncomfortable talking with your supervisor, look in the company's personnel manual or other human resources publications.
- Ask your human resources or personnel department to give you information on the Family and Medical Leave Act. If appropriate, ask them send a copy to your supervisor.
- Take advantage of flex-time policies. Ask for a flexible schedule if a formal policy is not in place. Offer to work a less desirable shift to get flex time, or be willing to make up time taken for caregiving by working days or shifts when most people want to be off. This flexibility on your part shows your employer that you are committed to the company and to your job.
- Consider job-sharing or working part time if it could work for you.
- Whenever possible, avoid mixing work with caregiving. If you have to make phone calls or search the Internet for information related to your parent's needs, do it on your lunch break.
- Manage your time well at home and at work. Set priorities and then accomplish the most important items on your list first. Delegate responsibilities at work and at home; others can almost always take some of the burden. Pace yourself and don't do so much in one area that you can't be effective in another.
- Get all the support you can from community resources.
- Take care of your own needs. Pay attention to your health. Eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Try to make time to enjoy yourself even when your schedule is packed. Fun is important. Take a break when the pressure gets too great; even a short walk or hot bath can help relieve the stress. Talk to someone about your feelings and needs: an employee assistance counselor, a professional counselor, or a member of the clergy.
- Consider talking to your supervisor or manager at work about your caregiving issues. It's better for them to understand the reasons you're coming in late or seem preoccupied than to let them draw their own conclusions. Chances are that your company will appreciate your honesty and sense of responsibility toward your family and your job.
- Be sure to thank those at work for the consideration and assistance you receive. To help someone else who has heavy family or other responsibilities, perhaps you could agree to take on an extra assignment or special project when you do have time.
Support for employee caregivers is becoming more widely available from employers and other community sources. Take advantage of whatever is available. It's a way to bring balance to a hectic time of life.
AARP Resources
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AARP Caregiving
A one-stop shop of AARP's online content about caring for parents. -
AARP Caring for
Parents
AARP offer 3 free, one hour online seminars for those who are caring for their parents.
Additional Resources
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Family and Medical
Leave Act (FMLA)
The U.S. Department of Labor talks about FMLA. -
Caregiver
Fact Sheet
The University of Maine provides tips for balancing work and caregiving. -
National Family Caregiver Support Program
The Administration on Aging offers caregiver survivor tips in English, Spanish, Russian, and Chinese, as well as online groups.
