10 Times You Realized You Were Mature (Not ‘Old,’ but Mature!)

We share some scenarios where we all started feeling —shall we say — a little more “mature”

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    Here’s a little secret. Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials — feeling “old” happens at every age, no matter what generation you may be in. Like you may have felt older when you decided it might not be a good idea to dance naked in that muddy pit next to the Port-a-Potties at the Burning Man festival. But your dad also felt the same way 47 years ago on that rainy day at Woodstock. Here are some scenarios where we all started feeling a little more “mature.” Feel free to add your own examples!

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    1. You were in the checkout line and had zero idea who the hell the “celebrities” were on the cover of US Weekly — and you didn’t care

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    2. Your feelings about ________ went from “it’s brilliant!” to “it’s ironic!” to “Jeez, why did I ever think this was worth my time?” to “Wait, it’s actually brilliant.”

    a. Full House
    b. Bonanza
    c. Modern dance
    d. Tom Waits’ music

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    3. When you said this: “You know what? I think I’m just gonna go home, but thanks.” And you meant it

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    4. You patiently listen to your nephew tell you how much better music sounds on vinyl

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    5. You have seen the ’80s come back in style a total of five times

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    6. You kept a secret

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    7. You actually said, “Now which Kardashian is that?”

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    8. Your kid has to explain how “Stories” works on Snapchat, and you laugh to yourself because you are reminded of ____________

    a. showing your mom how to work the VCR
    b. your grandpa explaining how he used Morse code in World War II
    c. your future self 10 years from now when someone tries to explain to you how to put in Google contact lenses

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    9. You can’t believe the new intern has never heard of _________

    a. Watergate
    b. Judy Garland
    c. wine coolers

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    10. You think the _________ next to you at the pool is kinda hot

    a. spry 70-year-old
    b. single mother of two
    c. nerdy grad student

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  • You finally understand all that talk about forgiveness.

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    “These are things you can be happy to experience as you age. It’s good to look forward to being seasoned. Becoming wiser is not the same as getting ‘old.’ ” – Mike Albo

    Mike Albo is a writer and performer. His new solo show, directed by David Schweizer is running at Dixon Place in New York City from May 13-28.


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