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Ageists Away! We’re Here, Dear, Get Used to It!

From age-shaming to the apparent pilfer-profiling of seniors at CVS — we’re calling you out!

  • Gray-cial Profiling

    Prepare to be profiled! According to claimants, some chain stores are targeting the elderly as potential shoplifters. Humiliating! What do they think? They’re stashing cough drops in their panty hose? Please!

    — Getty Images

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  • Too Mature for Margaritaville?

    A woman trying to book an activity on an Azamara Quest cruise was told that she “didn’t meet the age requirement” for a tequila tasting and shopping activity — at 73! Time to take our Cuervo and credit cards — and cruise away!    

    — Getty Images

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  • I Want My Emoji!

    While everyone from redheads to rabbits have their own emojis, age-specific ones are yet to be included on most keyboards. Some em-old-jis have been in development, but they’re not readily available for us who want to LOL with laugh lines. We’re still looking for our emoji-nal rescue!

    — Getty Images

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  • Stereotyping Celeb Style

    “Matronly” is the latest slur to be hurled at young stars, like La La Land’s 28-year-old Emma Stone — who, according to foxnews.com, chose sophisticated style over sexy slink. What makes mature fashion fuddy-duddy?

    — Lars Niki/Getty Images

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  • Top Hit: Graygglers!

    Ageism virus detected! At the adult playground called Google, where employees scooter to meetings and anyone over 40 is deemed too dated for data, judges rule a lawsuit can proceed against the 20-something-obsessed tech giant for age discrimination. (Cue the app-lause!)

    — Getty Images  

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  • Patronizing Pop, Piers Morgan, Shakes a Rattle at New Mom, Janet Jackson

    Bloated British blabber Piers Morgan blasted new mom Janet Jackson for having a baby at 50, while defending his own almost-50 fatherhood. Don’t spare the rod for this ageist, sexist bloviator.

        — Getty Images

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  • Cab Ad Cruelty

    You must be blind drunk if you want to date the older, larger woman pictured in a Bristol England taxi company ad who says, “If I start to look sexy, book a taxi” Wrong in so many ways…    

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  • Done with Denim at 53?!

    My crop top, OK — my mini, maybe — my jeans, never! According to a British “study,” people should not wear jeans after the age of 53. Try telling that to George Clooney, Madonna or the Marlboro Man. Leggo my Levis!

    — Istock

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  • Unfriend-ly

    Facebook has become a wasps’ nest of schoolyard bullies sharing nasty postings against those of us with slightly longer timelines. Age is not included in Facebook’s discrimination policy, so young users are free to poke, tag and torment their online elders. UNLIKE!

      — Facebook
     

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  • Too old for Twix or Treat?

    Ageism starts young. Candy-loving tweens and young teens are being told to leave the Kit Kats for the kiddies. 75 percent of the people polled thought kids 12-17 should hang up their superhero suits. Talk about a witch hunt!

        — Istock

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  • Meme-ing Mr Magoo

    Enough with dotty driver and goofy grandma memes! The over-60 set is running corporations and ruling supreme courts, why is it still acceptable to group all elders as demented dimwits unable to use a TV remote?

    — Getty Images  

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  • From Glass Ceiling to Formica Floor

    Boomers, especially women, are going bust, relegated to lower-waged jobs and dead-end careers.  Sisters, it’s time to stop being greeters and start being leaders!

      — Getty Images

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