It's already the second month of the New Year, and I have been slacking on my journaling.  I have to get moving.  I do not make resolutions.  However for over 30 years I have made yearly goals, even if it's only one or two.  And, for the most part I fulfil most of them.  I never share my goals, but this year I have decided to share (most of them) in the hope that the sharing will give me some needed push. 

 1.  Health:  Get all medical check-ups and keep up with good eating habits.

2.  Relationship:  Focus on family - (a) Help my daughter stabilize and appreciate her place in the world (b) Visit famly in the old country (c)  Companion - let chips fall where they may.

3.  Finances:  Stock investing -  I will treat investing as a "part-time" job.  I need something to keep me on my toes, not to mention the money.  I'm thrilled to see a stock I have purchased tick higher.  I have to discount the panic I feel when it goes the other way.  I do not seem to be good at damage control, but I better learn fast!

4.  Fitness:  (a) Tennis - I will play tennis at least three times a week.  (b)  By  12/31/10 I will be able to do 25 regular push-ups non-stop.  Yes, that's a lot for someone who can only do kneeling sissy push-ups!.  So, for 2010, no exercise classes, no gym - that's so 2009!  Tennis and push-ups are in! 

5.  Travel:  (a) Visit Kenya for a month (b) take a 7-12 day cruise

6.  Spirituality:  The Golden Rule is in order.

Last Thursday, Nov. 12th, I was watching Bill Gates and Warren Buffett being interviewed at Columbia University.  A student asked Mr. Gates whether he thought luck had anything to do with his success.  Mr Gates answered in the affirmative highlighting - great parents, right-place-at-the right-time, surrounded by extraordinary people, hardwork, reading and such.  Mr. Buffett quipped, "marrying the right person".  This got me thinking.  You, see,  I have repeatedly dismissed luck as a contributor to our success.  I have always thought luck was a luxury left to those who did not want to or did not need to work hard.

When I woke up in the morning, the luck thing was still on my mind.  I could not shake it off.  I decided to pose the question to the AARP community through the Single and Mingle Group and see what the others thought.  Meantime, I thought of how I would answer the question.  I could not help but go over the various stages of my life, and it dawned on me how much I had focused on my weak points/bad experiences over the years.  Focusing on the negatives had prevented me from seeing how lucky I had been throughout my life.  I can actually fill a book on just the many breaks I have caught.  Yes, I was born and raised in the country (we say rural areas) where we lived on bare minimum amenities, alhough I did not realize it until I went  away to high school.  Now, when I look back at the lives of the people I grew up with, I marvel at how much lucky I have been .

I was born to parents who never set foot in a classroom.  My father was not concerned whether we went to school or not.  There were animals and a garden to be tended.  Fortunately, he had a sister who had been to school courtesy of my grandmother dying when she was an infant and to the missionary who took her in.  I now suspect my aunt, who I met only once when I was growing up, must have put in a word here and there about the importance of education.  On the other hand my mother was adamant about her children going to school.  They came to an understandng.  The children either went to school (my mother saw to that) or stayed at home and tended to the various backbreaking chores.  We had already had an experience of these chores during Saturdays and school holidays.  It never crossed our minds to miss school.  

Except our neightbors, the other children in the village did not have parents like ours.  Education took the back burner, especially for girls.  They went to school too late, and in any case, it was believed all they needed was elementary education, if any, since they were going to get married.  I went to school with girls that looked all grown.  By grade four, five and six they were out of school.  I recall being the only girl in grades six and seven.  And on I went to high school in the city.  My father did not object to my going (his objection would have been honored - his word was law in our household) despite people advising him not to waste money on a girl.  More luck - I was the oldest girl and was named after his mother (I would never mention this to my two younger sisters - they wouldn't take it so well)  I believe this must have played a part, too. 

I have broken my promise for a couple of weeks.  I had promised I would write a journal entry every week.  My thinking is, I made the promise and I give myself permission to break it now and then when life happenings warrant it.

One such happening is my "prodigal" daughter returned home a couple of days ago - Oct. 23rd.  I'm happy - although my happiness is guarded - she is home.  I have been busy getting a bedroom ready for her.  The young woman has been to hell and back, and taken me along for the ride.  I had lost hope, and given up on her.  I now know nothing is final until one dies.   She states she will be in San Diego for four months - it's not consmopolitan enough for her.  I will take it a day at a time.

The other thing was the fire at my out of town townhouse.  I have made two turn-around trips to Bakersfield.  The major problem was not the fire, but the clean-up caused by the tenant/fire department  activities.  Finally I have got everything in order.  In the process I realized my tenants were far from model tenants.  The place is a mini night club.   I wrote them a letter regarding this, and in a couple of days I received a complaint letter from the Homeowners Assoc. regarding neighbor complaints and possible fine.  I can tell I'm not done with tenant screening.

All in all I'm happy about things falling into place.   I called my relatives in Kenya, and my brother who suffered from a stroke almost a couple of months ago can now walk without a cane.  His right hand, which was completely limp can now write.  When he was able to, he became fanatical about exercising and it has paid off.

I thought I was going to be rich.  It was now or never!   The real estate boom was beckoning, and  with seminars all over the county no one was immune.    investing opportunities were there for the picking - in Florida, Arizona, Nevada, South Carolina, etc.  My gut feeling kept on nagging me that it was unwise to purchase properties, sometimes site unseen, out of state, or even more than an hour's drive away.   I know some people who did, but I never ask them for any update. They don't offer it and  I  suspect it's not pretty.  

I' m ordinarily a reasonable and rational person, and not easily influenced by herd mentality, at least that was my assumption.  To my embarrassment I got caught up in the real estate mania.  I refinanced my house and pulled out some cash and purchased two houses and a townhouse in Bakersfield,  110 miles north of Los Angeles.  In less than two years the properties had approximately 100k equity each.  I sold one of them, got the 100K and rolled it into a highrise condo in San Diego, and eventually saw it evaporate.  The economy downturn hit before I got rid of the other two.  They are now just about back to where I started.

Last Sunday evening, I got home after attending a beautiful wedding.  I received a frantic call from the tenant's wife in the townhouse.  The townhouse was on fire.  The fire department was there and everything sounded chaotic.  After it settled down the fire department rep called me, the fire was caused by a short circuit in the downstairs bathroom  fan, and had not spread to other areas.   The city inspector certified the other electricals were okay.  However, despite all these assurances the tenant was still frantic.  She wanted me to pay for a hotel stay for her family.  I have no doubt the tenant was looking at some $ signs, and her hopes were somewhat dashed.  I should not point fingures, though.  When I received the tenant's call about the fire, for a second, when I was assured there was no one in the house,   my mind went "burn baby, burn!".    What a shame!  Do people go to jail for such thoughts? 

This week has been dominated by packing.  Packing and more packing.  I'm moving back to my house - kicking and screaming.  Since it hasn't sold and has depleted my piggy bank in the process the wisest thing to do is move back in.   I have been moving clothing and other items in my car twice a day.  This is easier on packing and unpacking; and by the time the movers come I will have my kitchen and closets all moved out!.  

However, between all this "chaos" I have been taking a peak at AARP community.  During the week  I met and had the pleasure of speaking with member Fred.    Fred worked and lived in Kenya for five years, and won't mind living there at all.  We had a pleasant conversation.   I also attended a wellness seminar at OASIS (a senior citizen group that offers classes/activities).  At the class I sat next to a genetleman.  We had subdued pleasant exchanges during the seminar.  The gentleman  (we never introduced ourselves) did something that I thought was so original and romantic.  He didn't ask for my phone number.  When I announced I was leaving, he asked to borrow my pen.  I did not mind waiting for my pen for a minute or two.  He returned my pen and there was a paper wrapped around the pen and held together with the pen clip.  I unwrapped the paper and there was the name Joe and his phone number.  We both laughed, and I left.  I have not called Joe yet, but I will.

It's been a busy week, but the highlight was a phone call on the morning of Sunday the 20th with my brother who had suffered a stroke four weeks ago.  He can now speak! For the first time since he fell sick, he walked outside with the help of a cane and his wife's shoulder.  That caused quite a stir in his household.  For a while I feared we were going to lose him, but now I'm glad I can go on with my life without long distance worries. 

During the week I celebrated my birthday on the 18th.  Actually, I didn't celebrate; I never grew up celebrating birthdays.  The only way we figured how old we were was the school class we were in.  I don't recall my parents ever mentioning our ages.  I doubt they knew or remembered.  My aunt , who was educated by missionaries as a result of her mother dying when she was an infant, was the family's record keeper.  If it was not for her, we children would not have known how old we were.  We were all born at home, and the home midwives were interested in healthy babies not record keeping.  

Meantime, I continue feeling my way around AARP community.  I think I have joined too many groups.  I'm a little nosy - I always think I'm missing something.  I need to prune some off.  In any case there is a lot of duplicity and I should pick and choose where I feel most comfortable.  Despite the time constraint, I have promised myself I will nurture the few online friendships before they fade away.

The week started on a high note.  My brother who had suffered from a stroke a little over two weeks ago, was discharged from the hospital.  His speech was mostly restored, and he could feel some tingling on his right arm.  Unfortunately, by the end of the week he had regressed to a point of slurred speech and both of his legs were swollen to a point where he was screaming with pain.    He stayed in bed while his family waited for the doctor's appointment on the 14th.  I was horrified, especially when my sister-in-law told me the development of the sickness.

My brother suffered a stroke, and the wife kept him at home overnight before taking him to the hospital.   By all accounts he was supposed to die, but he beta the odds.  I hope he beats the odds one more time.  It crossed my mind to go to Kenya to help out.  Needless to say everything I did during the week pales when compared to my brother's suffering.    

This has not been a good week for me.  A lot seemed to go wrong in the "old country" where most of my family lives.  My half sister passed away last week and she was buried this week.  No one told me about it until after the funeral.  I didn't even know she was sick.  As that was not enough the brother I follow had a stroke. That's a first in our family - we have never had anyone suffer from a stroke before.  I guess it's the sign of the times.  I understand he will pull through. How intact he will be, time will tell.

It seems as if lots of people fell sick around the same time.  My 80-year old aunt  (her husband is 88) has been sick for awhile and  my 64-year old sister-in-law is also sick.  I hate to imagine what would happen to my uncle and brother if anything happened to their wives.  No need to let the mind wonder that way!

On a lighter note, there is this friend who has been helping me with projects. He is really not a friend, but  I now consider him a friend because he never charges me regular prices.  Yesterday he told me he does that because he likes me.  That's it?  What's with men?  I have known this man for three months and he has never as much as invited me for a cup of tea!  I have decided to treat him to lunch to thank him after he finishes the current project he is doing for me.  May be that will break the ice.  Am I crossing the line? Nay! 

This afternoon I arrived from San Francisco where I had gone to visit my daughter for the weekend. We did the usual things we do when I go there - walk the city, eat, shop and catch-up on mother/daughter updates.

On this trip I learned something new, I'm sure it is not new to lots of other people.  Anyway, ordinarily when I privately book a trip, I go on line and pick an acceptable hotel.  This time I did not like the hotel prices I was getting and I decided to try Priceline.  To my surprise I got a decent hotel for $65 a night.  It was everything I wanted and needed - price, location, cleanliness and even a view!  The only trying period was purchasing accommodation on faith.  It was a little unnerving for me to pay non-refundable charges without knowing exactly what I was getting.  I decided Priceline had a reputation to keep, and it turned out great. 

What else happened during the week?  Sometimes my days seem to run into each other, or even blindside me.  Oh, I remember - I decided to better take care of how my meager portfolio is invested.  Last year I  liquidated my mutual funds, purchased stocks  and decided to be captain of my own investment ship.  Initially, I made some profits, the tide turned against me and overall it has been pathetic.  I have lost at least 45% of my account.  So, unless I want to join the breadline, I have to see how best I can recoup my losses.  I prunned some laggaards and locked in some gains.  To say my investing ego has been bruised is an understatement.  I should have put all my eggs in real estate basket where I seem to know my way around.  In future I will trend carefully.

Finally, there were some new developments on the sale of my house.  However, this house has consumed part of my life since March this year, and I'm not going to address it until its fate has been concluded.  Meantime, I have been training myself to focus on the positives in my life, and all in all life is good!

When I joined AARP community on 7/26, I was so gungho on journal writing.  Then came the dilemma of what to include.  Last night I decided to have a journal entry of each week's highlights. 

On Monday the week started well with me receiving the first written purchase offer for my house.  I was not excited about the price offered, and gave the buyer a counter offer on Tuesday.  The buyer shot back a second counter offer.  At this stage I started suffering from seller's remorse.  I could not bring myself to accept the buyer's final offer.  I was quite conflicted.  I "slept" on it on Tuesday, Wednesday and by Thursday I decided it was downright silly to agonize over the one serious offer I had received in five months.  I accepted the buyer's counter offer.  By Friday the buyer had not acknowledged my acceptance, and wanted to go through the house again on Saturday.  I started wishing he did not take the house.  I vosualized making a major remodel and make it a more beautiful home.  Saturday the buyer reinspected the house and acknowledged my acceptance.  SOLD - all that thinking and agonizing for nothing!

When the buyer and his agent were having a second look at my house I volunteered for a couple of hours at a book sale at our local library. Very rewarding.  Unfortunately, I learned my friend, Elizabeth, who had moved to North Carolina had died.  Elizabeth loved life and I could never guess she would die in her sixties.  I  felt a little guilty for not keeping in touch.  She occasionally called me, but I never intiated a call since she moved away.  I have to keep in touch with my friends.

I called my girfriend and we agreed to go to Balboa Park and enjoy the week-end activities.  I never stop to marvel at how beautiful Balboa Park is.  There is something for everyone.  Having money is no excuse;  there are so many freebies - walking trails, free music and dance performance, museums, zoo, theatre, free fairs, etc. And for those who want every thing for free, the zoo has a free day every October, and in December highlights celebration day all museums are free and open until around 10.00 p.m. or so.  See?  I'm excited about that Park!

Sunday, I finished the week by joining some friends to Solerno Winery in Ramona - a 45 minutes drive from San Diego.  This is a neat winery where everybody is welcome everu Sunday to a potluck.  Patrons bring the food and the winery provides free pizza and sells the wine for 5$ a glass and 25$ a bottle.  Music is free, but patrons are free to donate to the singer whatever they wish.  It's enjoyable to watch people eat, drink, dance and even tell some war stories.