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Those concerned about healthy living are aware that a glass of red wine per day is supposedly good for you. I have never been much of a wine connoisseur, but I have had my opportunities to taste wines.

I was a mere 18 years of age when my high school principal’s daughter offered my first taste of wine. Taking a big gulp, I nearly stained the carpet of her home. Later I wondered if she was jealous of my music ability and was trying to burn my throat or attempting to get me drunk to take advantage of me.

One year later, I was to sing in a church out-of-state. I stayed with a family who also attended another church during an early morning service. The church had communion and I walked to the front and knelt. The pastor served me a wafer and then the cup. Little did I know it was wine. Littler did I realize how good the acoustics were in this church while I coughed with abandon.

Several years pass and I find myself in Spain. This farm boy was trying to get used to seafood and was struggling like a hooked swordfish. I was eating as a guest of a pastor and I thought I had better have “a little wine for my stomach.” Wise choice as I found the wine better than the food.

Several months later, I found myself eating with some neighbors. The proud man bragged about his vino from the campo (country). I could barely swallow small sips. Having downed a couple of glasses himself, he looked at my glass and said, “If you don’t like it, throw it on the floor!”

Now, many years later, Vicky and I are shopping in a grocery to stop for a bottle of wine for our health and dinner. I was amazed at the variety of wines and even more, the names. A sampling is:

Smashed Grapes- It reminds me of Lucy in a vat stomping and falling.

Manyana- A sic spelling of a sick Spanish wine?

Jacob’s Creek- It may not sound weird, but when I first read the label, the bottle was slightly turned and all I saw was Cob’s Creek. Not so inviting.

3 Blind Moose- Apparently someone already drank too much.

JackaRoo- Yep, it’s your Australian version with a bit of a hop.

Little Boomey- A Southern Australian wine that comes back at you or back up on you.

Yellow Tail- I have never had it, but I did have pink eye once.

Dancing Bull- Vicky did not like the name, but I told her I would try to learn the steps if she liked.

Fat Bastard- I really do not want to go there, but I do know a few.

Red Bicyclette- I had one as a kid, but I slipped off the pedal so often it doesn’t sound appealing.

Barefoot- There’s just something about someone else’s feet in my drink that makes me want to upchuck.

There was one in Chinese that looked out of place. I still can’t figure how to open it with chopsticks.

Franciscan- NOW I KNOW what they do when they are all secluded.

Funky Llama- This one intrigues me. I picture a potion that causes me to create new dances.

Sandeman- Creates images of grit, stuff in my eyes, and cats in sandboxes.

Little Penguin- Just a little sip will cause one to waddle.

Bin- Don’t know for sure, but this may be for the wino. Bin there, done that.

Well, thank you for checking in with the latest in wines. Check back next time when we be discussing the possible names for the morning gunk in your eyes left by the Sandeman . . . or Sandman. Whatever.