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1. You have a Starbucks tattoo on your chest.

2. There are twenty-plus Starbucks mugs in your kitchen cabinet.

3. You would rather be shot than skip yours.

4. Your lips and tongue are permanently stained “espresso bean brown.”

5. You find yourself standing in front of Starbucks at 5am in your pajamas.

6. Driving continual circles around Starbucks is more fun than a merry-go-round.

7. Starbuck employees are at the top of your Christmas list.

8. You buy all your friends and relatives Starbucks’ gift cards, but somehow manage to forget placing them in their Christmas cards.

9. You name your children after specialty coffees.

10. You refuse to leave Starbucks while chaining yourself to the espresso machine.