My father was a very strong man . . . probably the strongest man I have personally known. I understood this by watching many physical acts of his throughout the years. One story stands re-telling that I did not witness, but one of my cousins shared it with me. This is what he said:

Farmer Jones wanted me to tell you this story about your father. Jones could not stand your dad. He really disliked him. He considered him arrogant, haughty, and conceited. Just the thought of ‘Smitty’ walking around with his chest puffed out, irritated him. (Actually, he was barrel chested).

One day, farmer Jones got a wagonload of old telephone poles for the farm. He called a number of men to help him unload. The process was difficult because the wagon was downhill and the telephone poles had to be carried uphill. This enlisted anywhere from three to five men per pole.

Then Smitty walked up to the wagon with his arms held out . . . all by himself. Jones could not believe it. He thought, “I’ll show that old @#$%!” With that, the farmer took his crowbar and rolled one pole off the wagon as hard as he could.

Smitty caught it! He not only caught it, but he carried it up the hill all by himself.

“You know,” Jones said, “it was at that time I realized that Smitty could snap my neck anytime he wanted to."

He wasn't telling me anything new. I had enough spankings growing up to developed eternal swelling. :)

“I love you, Lord, my strength.” Psalm 18:1

One of the things we enjoy getting for each New Year is calendars. Sure we enjoy the prospect of setting goals and trying to stay up late on New Years Eve, but a new calendar always gives us a fresh outlook for the year.

The calendar I really wanted for this year coincided with one of my goals. This is the year I take my Spanish to a new level. Actually, just to take my Spanish outside and be confident to use it once or twice would be nice. Thus, I have a daily desk calendar that teaches words, phrases, and even has the pronunciations.

However, this is where it gets a little sticky. It all started well as the basics flowed the first few days. I learned/relearned:

Buenos días . Good morning.

Te amo. I love you.

Bésame .Kiss me.

So far, so good. I liked and enjoyed using it. But then the dark side of the calendar broke through.

¡Vamos de juerga! Let’s go wild!

And if the above sequence was not bad enough, it jumped to this:

Como un chile Serrano la semana pasada. I ate a Serrano pepper last week.

Y no perdido nada de su potencia al pasar por mi organismo. And it lost none of its potency passing through my body.

La hinchazón n ya se me está pasando. The swelling is going down now.

¡Barman! ¡Un Pepto Bismol solo! Bartender! A Pepto Bismol, straight up!

Maybe I should see if I can trade my calendar for Pig Latin.

I am writing this meme because several on Facebook tagged me. While I completed this with little problem, I will not tag others because I do not play well with others and cheat at games.


1. I unconsciously and randomly sing, hum or whistle most of my waking moments.

2. While I have sung hundreds of solos in my lifetime and had opportunity to sing professionally, I hate and refuse to listen to recordings of myself because I do not like the way I sound.

3. When I really let go and laugh, I can give myself a headache. :)

4. Though romanced by Spain (Barcelona in particular), living there was one of three hardest times in my life.

5. The other two toughest times in my life I choose not to speak about . . . at this time.

6. In my previous life, I was a baloney sandwich . . . which passed quickly . . . but still gives nightmares.

7. I have a fertile, creative mind . . . which can be a curse at times.

8. Most of my adult life I have wished to speak Spanish and to play the piano well. While I now laugh fluently in Spanish, my piano has yet to even border bad (mal) in any language.

9. Though I often forget my phone number, address, and bankcard pin number, I have a staunch memory for my failures.

10. My last name spelled backwards is 'gninepret' and does not mean anything.

11. My wife and daughters have given me the greatest joys in life.

12. I enjoy cooking . . . as long as I am making ethnic foods.

13. I would rather eat my wife's cooking than shovel horse poop . . . though that choice may no longer be available. (She is actually a good cook, but I am too weak and gave in to temptation.) *bad, bad imagination*

14. I would rather spend one-on-one time with my wife than anything else in the world.

15. Life on my farm is funny.

16. I love to eat any cheese, green olives stuffed with anchovies, pickled herring, chorizo, jamon, and bread dipped in olive oil with seasoning.

17. God often shows and tells me He loves me . . . and I am amazed every time.

18. While I love to make people laugh, I too often feel I can see into their lives and want to cry.

19. My life is a strange mixture of little ultimately definable.

20. I am too closely related to Monk.

21. When Vicky is gone too long on any given day, I begin to get depressed.

22. I have never had a chauffeur’s license, but I have driven many people crazy.

23. While I have been given three sets of golf clubs in my life, and have played a few hundred games, I have also given away three sets of clubs because I do not like to play golf. This may have to do with no memory of ever having won a single game.

24. I fell from the top of a steep stairway and from the top of a large tree within the same year with little to no side effects with little to no side effects with little to no side effects with little to no side effects.

25. These are easy for me to write . . . with many more thoughts forced into submission, deleted and kicked into oblivion . . . never again to return.

Yesterday a woman walks briskly into my store as I am waiting on another customer. As she passes she says, "Hi Tim."

A minute or two later she comes to the counter and asks, "How are you today, Tim?"

"I am fine. How are you?"

"Really good. Do you remember me, Tim?"

I scan her face, but my recognition is faint.

"I was here a few weeks ago and spilled my cappuccino in the parking lot. You came out, told me not to worry about it, and got me another one."

"Yes," I gladly and somewhat bashfully reply.

"Well, I was having a very bad day. I mean a bad day. Through the rest of that day I told people, I really did not think I was going to make it through the day. But there is man down at the convenience store who smiled at me, bought me a cappuccino, and told me to have a nice day."

"I am glad your day turned around for you," I said.

She left smiling as we said goodbye and thanked each other.

With so little effort, we can make or break someone's day. While it may seem I once made her day, yesterday she made mine.

~Tim

Laughing and humor have been a large part of my life for a long time. Whether listening to a joke or saying the first thing that pops into my head, I find myself smiling . . . and sometimes others do as well.

A number of years ago my secretary went into the hospital to have an operation. While she was recovering in her room the next day, I thought I would go up to see her. Already in the room were several of her friends. We laughed and giggled a little. However, this would cause her pain and she would hold a pillow to her stomach and go, "Ooo! Ooo!"

The anesthesiologist walks into the room, introduces himself to her and asks:

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Are you having any side effects from the anesthesia?"

"I don't think so. But my lower lip does hurt."

"Sometimes while a patient is under anesthesia, people bite on their lower lips."

This is where I make an unfortunate interjection. "Then I do not ever want to go under anesthesia if people are going to be biting on my lip!"

The entire room broke out into a riotous laughter with my secretary holding onto her pillow going, "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!" Well, except for the anesthesiologist. He is busy giving me the death stare.

I quickly excuse myself and leave the room to the howls of laughter.

Even down the hall I could still hear her. "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!"


~Tim

PS: If you are ever in the hospital, you may not wish to invite me to come and see you. :)

Still rather taken back about someone not seeing The Sound of Music (previous post), I decided to make it a survey question to people I come in contact with and know on a daily basis.

There is one exception and that is because of my orneriness. One new customer comes up to register and I ask, "Would you like to participate in my short survey?"

Being a very big and husky man, he looks down at me and says, "No."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I thought you wished to buy something today."

Looking down at me once again, and not smiling, he says, "What are the questions?"

I love it when a plan comes together. :)

The survey is a very brief two questions. The first question is:

"Have you seen the musical The Sound of Music?"

While the results are far from scientific, it is my survey. :) The results of the first question are:
 

• I have seen The Sound of Music. -49
• I have not seen The Sound of Music. -17

The second question is:

"If you can think under the great pressure I am putting you through at this moment, what would you consider your favorite musical?"

The results are varied and I will list them all in alphabetical order by given votes. The Sound of Music was a runaway favorite, while no other musical garnered more than two votes.

• The Sound of Music
• Fiddler On the Roof
• Grease
• West Side Story
• The Wizard of Oz
• An American In Paris
• Broadway Melody of 1940
• Carousel
• Cinderella
• Easter Parade
• Hair
• Hello Dolly
• Jesus Christ Superstar
• The King and I
• Moulin Rouge
• The Music Man
• Nunsense
• Oklahoma
• Oliver
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show *aack!*
• Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
• Singin' In the Rain
• South Pacific
• State Fair
• Yankee Doodle Dandy

I did receive two unusual entries: Family Guy and Pink Floyd, the Wall. Upon hearing these, I individually encouraged the two ladies not to drink or take drugs so early in the morning. Upon being assured they had not been drinking or taking drugs, I encouraged them to do so. LOL

Please feel free to weigh in on the survey.

As for me, maybe I will now be able to put The Sound of Music saga behind me. Besides, the party has started and the children are just about ready to sing, So Long, Farewell.

Walking out of my store, I sing a line from a musical to one of my employees.

"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight."

My employee looks like a deer caught in headlights. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what's that supposed to mean?' It is from the epitome and embodiment of all musicals! The Sound of Music!"

"I've never seen it."

"Never seen it???? What do you mean you've never seen it???"

"I don't have time to watch television."

"Watch television??? It's been out for more than forty years!!!"

"Well, I've never seen it."

"What do you watch, reruns of Hee Haw?"

Very astounded, I begin asking others. Confused and astounded, I find there are quite of few people who have not seen The Sound of Music.

*sigh*

Where am I living, in The Twilight Zone? :)

I was asked on Facebook to complete this meme. Thought I might as well share it here. Sorry. :)

1. D o you like blue cheese? Yes, even though I know how it is made.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No, but my favorite is Batgirl.

3. Do you own a gun? Could be. There is a tough way to find out.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Starbucks? Espresso.

5. Do y ou get nervous before doctor appointments? Only if he is wearing a glove.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? They do not phase me. I have a hot wife.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? The Nativity.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? First is a glass of milk, then a cappuccino.

9. Can you do push ups? 20-25 over ten to twelve months.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My Jack Russel's dog tags.

11. Favorite hobby? Statistics and writing.

12. Do you have ADD? No . . . it is only for amateurs.

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? My inability to say no to a meme.

14. Middle name? Obnoxious.

15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment: What should I write? Do I even care? What's for supper?

16. Name three things you bought yesterday: Fuel, toasted Italian sub, and a gift card for myself.

17. Name 3 things you drink daily: Pop, water, milk.

18. Current worry? I am caught in a Groundhog Day time warp and have to answer these 45 questions every day for the rest of my life.

19. Current dislik e? Having my pajamas starched.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Listening to Vicky snore. Lol Probably snoring myself.

21. Where would you like to go? To see my daughters (and clan), Spain , Israel , and Oz.

22. Name three people who will complete this? Moe, Larry, and Curly.

23. Do you own slippers? Sure . . . I think.

24. What shirt are you wearing? Long sleeves.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I slid in and out of bed so fast one time, I could not remember if I was going to bed or getting up.

26. Favorite color? Black and blue

27. Could you be a pirate? Only if I could be a p irate who doesn't do anything.

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? Rub a dub dub . . . ah, no. Forget that one. Singin' In the Rain.

29. Favorite Food: Tortilla de potatas or juevos con chorizo.

30. What's in your pocket right now? Brachs peppermint . . . and a years worth of lint.

31. Last thing that made you laugh? One of my voices telling a joke.

32. Favorite sheets? Horse sheets. It's good for the roses.

33. Worst injury you have ever had? Falling on my head and thinking nothing was wrong.

34. Do you love where you live? As long as my wife lives there.

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? Enough to watch many stupid programs at one time.

36. Who is your loudest friend? Me.

37. How many dogs do you have? One Jack Russel Terrorist, two Rottweilers, and one Doberman that goes around and pinches them all.

38. Does someone have a crush on you? My wife . . . and a couple of little old ladies.

39. What is your favorite book(s)? Humor: Mark Twain. Fiction: Al Gore's Global Warming. Non-fiction: Bible. Children’s: The Wishing Well. Poetry: Dr. Seuss.

40. What is your favorite candy? Dark chocolate.

41. Favorite Sports Team? Are they still doing roller derby?

42. What songs do you want sung at your funeral? None. Just praise jazz instrumental.

43. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Dreaming of sleeping.

44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke this morning? Where's that @#&* alarm??

45. Favorite place to be? With my wife.

If you want real romance, instead of two people living together, you have to understand love.
When you love someone, you place them first in your life. This is not a new concept, but we act like it might be.

Often I have talked to couples with one or both telling me the other one just does not wish to do this, do that, go here, desire this, etc. (I am talking about more than sex.)

If you really love someone, they are in first place . . . ahead of you. This means you have their desires foremost in mind, not your own. Tough? Yes, especially when this is not reciprocated.

As to the above picture and having sex?

• Do not force, ridicule or nag your lover into doing something they do not wish to do.
  
• Find what your lover really likes and go from there . . . as long as you agree with it.
  
• Help them to understand the why's and the why not's. If you do not try to explain, it will cause resentment.
  
• Guys, do not be in such a doggone hurry. Romanticize your lover . . . and not just in bed.
  
• Above all, play fair.
  

One of the things I do is to read to my wife while in bed. I tried the colored pencils on her body, but . . . never mind. Actually, I read at night. Something about the sound of my voice puts her to sleep.

Keep the bedroom as a place to romance your lover and to sleep. If you spend a lot of time watching television or being on the computer in the bedroom, it becomes more of a den or family room.

Okay, enough said. Now get to work.

Friends have been fairly elusive to me. Oh, I have had my share.

There was Timmy in our pre-school days. He was littler than I was and wore glasses. Kind of geeky even back then (he probably makes $250,000 a year now). Even though we were friends, I picked on him.

I remember one time he needed to use the bathroom and I used it first. Taking my time, I told him to jump up and down and maybe it would help. It did . . . he was greatly relieved.

Then there was the time I told him he had a bee on his head, even though He did not. His mom gave me quite a tongue-lashing. How was I supposed to know he would run in circles around the outside of his house screaming at the top of his lungs?

Now, I actually have a best friend . . . my wife. I pick on her sometimes, though I do not think I would try the bee thing. She would probably slap the bajeebers out of me.

Anyway, sometimes my fragile little mind conjures thoughts that are more than likely planted by the enemy. A usual one is: I wonder when she will get tired of me. I have never really been good with friends.

This even let it come out of my mouth once in Vicky’s hearing. She turned and gave me this incredulous look.

She then asked, “Are you getting tired of me?”

“Of course not. I love you.”

“Then don’t say such ridiculous things.”

She had me on that one.

So did the enemy until I realized what he was doing.

Too often, I forget just how special I am to God. He never tires of me (He’s fairly busy laughing at me I think). He loves me just the way I am . . . though He really enjoys seeing me grow and change in His image.

Maybe you struggle with how God feels about you. Well, life is full of surprises, and you are one of them. Read His Word and see the great worth you are to God. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And he will not do the bee thing either.

God, thank You for loving me so much. Your only Son’s sacrifice not only proved Your love once again, but also provides freedom from all bondage . . . including insecurity. Give us assurance about who we are in You, and peace in our hearts from the hecklings of the enemy. We love you, Lord.