My Higher Power for some reason tonight directed me here to add another journal to share with my friends. As most of you know I am a widow for 14 months and 23 days today, Oct 9. This time has been almost like a new birth for me. When Roger went to his heavenly home I wanted what I seen in his eyes as he looked into the face of our Lord, but that hasn't happened for me yet. So at first I felt like a caterpilller must feel as he winds his cocoon around himself finding that safe place where you don't want to hurt and feel much of anything except this great loss and knowing now you are a half of a circle and you might never be whole again. How we take life for granted thinking nothing will ever change for us, time marches on, you struggle a little trying to smile and appear normal, well let me tell you I found out the only normal in life is the setting on your dryer. Little by little I emerged from this shell, caring about life again and knowing God will always carry me when I need to be carried. For the past weeks I have found that there is always someone out there that will listen and feel your pain. I have always been a watcher of Gods beauty on this planet He gave us to take care of. For a long while I couldn't open my eyes and see that beauty, the first snow flakes falling from the Heavens sparkling like diamonds in the sun, the harvest moons so huge and orange with dark clouds rushing across it. The geese flying south for the winter each having their own mate,sometimes one flying alone and you know that mate is gone. So many of Gods precious things we take for granted. yes there is a lot of ugly out there most of it we created for ourselves. Take time to listen to the silence of a dark night or the whisper of the wind brushing through the trees, the leaves crackling under foot the crunch of a frozen snow,you may not have that time if you wait untill tomorrow. Thank you my very dear friend for helping me find MYSELF.