Offline
Background
Gender: Female
Status: Divorced
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: Christian/Protestant
Location:
STOUGHTON, Wisconsin
United States
Work:
Homemaker
Preschool teacher
semi-retired. Currently in partnership in a new business with my sister. We make bags out of unwanted clothing
Hometown(s):
Monona WI
Brooklyn WI
Oregon WI
Stoughton WI

About Me

My name is SallyJo. I live in Wisconsin. I'm 64 years old and recently divorced.

Interests:
Sewing, children, genealogy, travel

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My Journals (1)

I received notice in the mail today of a pretrial hearing on October 1st.  I knew all this week that soon things would be progressing toward the finality of the divorce.

I need to escape from this limbo.  All I'm succeeding in doing is gaining weight (I'm pretty good at that).  I can't look for a job until I know where I'm going to live.  Can't look for a place to live until I know how much money I will have.

But, with the freedom from limbo comes the finality of the divorce and deep in my heart, I still don't want that.  Even though he has made it clear that he loves another, I still love him.  I can remember the sweetness of our love.  I've been with this man since I was 14 years old.  I feel attached to him in ways that can't be explained in words.

No matter what happens, I don't think that I will ever lose that feeling toward him.  The kids think I'm nuts to have any good feelings toward him at all.  They are both feeling so angry and betrayed by their dad. 

He has hurt me and his children so deeply.  Like I've said so many times before, I can't understand how he can be happy after doing what he has done to us.

I know that I will survive, but I also know that I will spend the rest of my life alone with memories of a love that used to be mine.

Added: September 6, 2008
Views: 349 | Comments: 2 | Bookmarks: 0
collins10 says:

Sally Jo, I felt I had no choice. My husband was and is a womanizer and so was his dad. So I see it as a generational problem in his family. He cheated throughout our marriage from the beginning. He fathered a child during our marriage too. That child is 16 years old now and he hates him as much as I do. Just this last year I can see he's moving from mental abuse with signs that he may become physically abusive. He's not home a great deal. He spends a lot of time at our 5 acre farm in his hometown in Oklahoma. I'm sure he has more children there but I can't prove it. I have never visited the place since we bought it back in 1999. I believed he would die of a heart attack fairly young like most of the men in his family. I hate to say it but he's healthier now than ever before at age 62. I can't take this anymore. He comes and goes for days and weeks at a time and does not speak to me. We sleep in separate rooms with the doors locked. We haven't really spoken since Xmas 2005. I never know when he's leaving or returning. I want a life too so I need to get rid of him. He hasn't paid a bill in our marital home in over a year. He doesn't contribute anything... not even toilet paper! I will be so-o-o happy when this is over. There was no way to work out anything because he's been out of my life emotionally since about 2002. He's been asking for a divorce since November 2008. I surprised him and served up the papers to him in March 2009. He's wanted out for a long time but he wants to take my IRA with him. He counts every penny I have because he's spent every penny he has. He wants mine so he can live happily ever after on my dime. I'm praying I can get better than a 50/50 property split because I paid more throughout the marriage financially while he had all the fun
Posted: July 18, 2009 10:13PM EDT
sallyjoq says:

Wow! It sounds like a very unhappy and unhealthy life you have been living! I certainly can't blame you for wanting to escape from that situation. I sure hope that you will be able to get your fair share, financially. And, I hope that you have a lawyer.

It would be great if you would post what you wrote to me on the group site. It's helpful for you to get the input from others who read it and it's helpful for our members to learn about your situation and to get to know you a little better.

Let me know if you have trouble doing that.

SallyJo
Posted: July 20, 2009 9:37AM EDT
collins10 says:

Hi SallyJo. Thanks for sharing you story. I'm a 60 year old woman who filed for divorce March 2009 to end a 28 year marriage. Enough is enough. Like most folks here I'm looking for support from others who have been there or are going through divorce late in life. This is not how I envisioned my life to be at this age. As a matter of fact I thought I would probably be a widow and not a divorcee. But here I am trying to learn all that I can to protect my meager assets. If anyone has any tips or words of wisdom don't hesitate to email me: hiquality@sbcglobal.net

Charlene
Posted: July 18, 2009 1:34AM EDT
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