Hi everyone. Our holidays were great. I say "our" and mean the grown kids, grandchild, mom, and sisters family. The x-husbane didn't even call our children or had any contact with them. Our son from Florida was home and his dad didn't even know it. So, I guess there wasn't any contact prior to him coming home either or the x-husband would have known. Because of my lack of feeling for this man, it makes it so mych easier that I have ever imagined. Sally, I was going to ask you also, did you leave your home and move in with your friend. I hope we are not being too inquisitive by asking. How is that working for you? If so, I wish you the best of luck in your new relationship. Cindy

Sally Jo, I felt I had no choice. My husband was and is a womanizer and so was his dad. So I see it as a generational problem in his family. He cheated throughout our marriage from the beginning. He fathered a child during our marriage too. That child is 16 years old now and he hates him as much as I do. Just this last year I can see he's moving from mental abuse with signs that he may become physically abusive. He's not home a great deal. He spends a lot of time at our 5 acre farm in his hometown in Oklahoma. I'm sure he has more children there but I can't prove it. I have never visited the place since we bought it back in 1999. I believed he would die of a heart attack fairly young like most of the men in his family. I hate to say it but he's healthier now than ever before at age 62. I can't take this anymore. He comes and goes for days and weeks at a time and does not speak to me. We sleep in separate rooms with the doors locked. We haven't really spoken since Xmas 2005. I never know when he's leaving or returning. I want a life too so I need to get rid of him. He hasn't paid a bill in our marital home in over a year. He doesn't contribute anything... not even toilet paper! I will be so-o-o happy when this is over. There was no way to work out anything because he's been out of my life emotionally since about 2002. He's been asking for a divorce since November 2008. I surprised him and served up the papers to him in March 2009. He's wanted out for a long time but he wants to take my IRA with him. He counts every penny I have because he's spent every penny he has. He wants mine so he can live happily ever after on my dime. I'm praying I can get better than a 50/50 property split because I paid more throughout the marriage financially while he had all the fun