AARP Online Community: rae1tom - My Journals & Blogs

"The One That Fits Your Soul" ....RaeDi

“The One That Fits Your Soul”

....RaeDi ~ 2008

When we met, our gaze lingered as if without end

Enter awareness, sense and thought

Stance discernment nothing blocked

Unpredictable releasing emotions all unlocked

Our enter soul at meeting made

Time in its self stood at a halt

Amazing thing this sense of being

Solitary fastened together on the spot

Sameness joined distinctiveness

Alien this alertness rareness of heart

A thousand feelings stimulated exhilaration in

every part

Completeness being of one entirety

When fastened together for all of time

This bond evermore only beginning

Love and laughter never ending

Each fresh day just multiplies

Flourishes and blossoms

Thrives and drives the desires and yearnings

At each minute of each hour and the day

The years to now enhanced

Forever continually until the end of time

We two who glaze into each other’s eyes

We who fit at the soul instantaneous that first sight

Embrace affection, devotion and love

For evermore for all eternity

Added: June 29, 2008
Views: 182 | Comments: 2 | Bookmarks: 0

"We Need To Know"

Jacquie and RaeDi ~ 1954

I posted the articile "Most doctors avoid saying it’s the end."

I posted a article from the A/P from the msnbc health/news web site, in the Group: Government - Religion, Owner: William Henry Allain. The forum was Health Care.

The California Assembly just passed a bill to require that health care providers give complete answers to dying patients who ask about their options. The bill now goes to their state Senate. I have been watching this bill closely - lots of posts from Americans coast to coast on this subject. Most agree health care providers should inform their patients. The American Society of Clinical Oncology at a conference in Chicago eariler this month, where a federally funded study was presented, society president Dr. Nancy Davidson, a cancer specialist at John’s Hospital in Baltimore, said she was uspset at its findings. That most doctors were not having honest talks with their patients.

Read the article and the facts about this study on what happens to patients if they are or are not asked what kind of care they’d like to receive if they were dying.

"We Need To Know and To Be Informed"

By RaeDi ~ 2008

My Sister Jacquie called me just a few days before Christmas ~ 2006. She asked me if I was sitting down. I told her yes. I knew right then something horrible had happened. She told me she had to go to the emergency room at the local hospital because she had severe back pain. The elementary school nurse told her go to the ER, thought maybe her gallbladder was causing the pain. She drove herself there. After myriads of tests the ER Doctor told her to call her husband, he would have to drive her home. After her husband arrived to get her, the doctor sat them down and told my sister that she had a very rare form of liver cancer. Told her that they would get an appointment with a local Cancer Clinic and they would be contacting her. She was just so numb, that numbness reduced me to total agony over the words she just said. It was as though I could not distinguish perception of what she was saying. I could not believe what she had just made known to me. She let me know right off that she did not want to know her prognosis. She was hoping she could live five years more. Said she had to have positive thoughts and if her prognosis was bad, she would not be able to deal or cope with the totality of the picture. I on the other hand am one who thinks there is power in knowledge. I did ask her about learning what she could to help her to make some of decisions along the way. They informed her that the doctor she was going to was one of the best there is in his field of cancer treatment in her region of the country. As soon as we hung up, I went to the computer and looked up what she had and found out as much as I could. It did not look good, but I wanted to talk with my doctors and have them explain what I was hoping that I didn’t understand, all these new medical terms, I was hoping I was wrong with what I had read. I had gotten a good picture of an ugly situation. My doctor knows me well enough to know that I am one who needs and wants to know everything. It was so hard to hear what she facing and what she would be going through medically. The doctor told her and her husband to go ahead with their plans of going to Arizona for Christmas through New Year’s Day. They had planned for months to be with their boys and grandson for the holidays. The doctor gave her plenty of morphine for her pain. When they got back home, they had to wait a couple more weeks for the appointment to this wonderful doctor. After her first initial visit she knew no more than before she went. He just gave her more prescriptions for morphine. Said that she would need to have radiation and when that was set up, they would give her a call. Several more weeks had gone by and I could not believe that her treatment had not been started yet. My information was she would have to have radiation treatment as soon as possible. It had been weeks now and nothing. After waiting several more weeks, I asked her if she had called the doctor’s office and ask what the delay was. She was not concerned, the doctor at her first and only visit had informed her they had five other patients with the same liver cancer and all were doing fine. In this conversation, I told her to call her doctor and ask when it was they were going to do the radiation treatment. She called me the next day and they told her they were having problems with the insurance paying for the treatment. They also told her that the radiologist in their treatment center was out in rural areas doing treatments and when he returned, they would set up her treatment, if the insurance was going to pay for it, if not they would need to pay. They had Tricare Insurance, her husband served 26 years in the Air Force. I told her to get on the phone, call her local Congressman, and go further than that if she had too, to get the treatment she needed now. She had no idea that she was supposed to get the radiation ASAP. I did, my doctors made it very clear it would need to be done as soon as possible. That was her best chances of getting even a year with this type of cancer. If she was in good physical shape before the diagnosis, it would give her more time. She was in real good shape, had not been sick in all her life. The simple colds and such that was the only time she had been sick. She walked everyday for years and did some weight bearing for keeping toned. She called this doctors office and told them that family, friends were asking about her treatment, and when is it going to be begin. She let them know I was the second person who told her to call her Congressman. They told her then that Tricare was going to pay for it and gave her an appointment, still it was a couple of weeks away. I asked her why and she said their radiologist was still out in the rural areas doing treatments. They made it sound like there was no problem. When we hung up, I could not stop the tears from coming. They did not care about her; they were going for the almighty bucks. If it had not been for me and a friend of hers telling her to call her Congressman and her telling that office what we told her do (in innocence); I think they were waiting for them to pay. They would get full payment that way. They knew who they were and knew they could and would pay if need be. I could not tell her anything; she made me promise not to say a word. The next thing I know she is calling me to tell me her doctor and his cancer clinic were being prosecuted for mismanaging patient treatments for monetary gains. Her doctor had even called her right after they read it in the paper to see if she would testify on his behalf. I could not believe what was happening. Then I learned that her family doctor had made an appointment with another doctor and all was going to be okay. No one let on that there was anything going wrong. Her diagnoses of a very rare liver cancer had been in December and she was finally getting treatment at the end of March. The radiation had to be so radical by then it did a lot of collateral damage. Not only her liver but also her stomach, colon and intestines all had an excess of radiation to the point of severe damage. It made it more painful for her and her appetite was gone. They told her that she would have a little chemo a few months down the line and maybe another treatment of radiation. They knew then that they could not do anything more for her. They waited too long for treatment and then the treatment caused such damage, they would not be able to give her any more radiation. By July, her health was failing rapidly. In the name of medicine how could this happen? She and her husband had no clue as to the impairment to her health each one of these doctors had caused. Reparation would do my sister no good. They had taken her life into their hands factually, literally and precipitated ahead of time her death. She got one treatment of chemo, at the very end. She passed away on October 6, 2007. She lived a little over nine months from the day of her diagnoses of her rare liver cancer. I will admit after the initial painful loss and grief like none I had never experienced before, I did go through a rather angry stage too. Not only was I angry with my sister for not doing all she could do for herself and gain as much knowledge as she could to help herself, and maybe she could have prevented this nightmare of healthcare from ever happening. However, I still am incensed, my belief in the collective management, welfare and security of our health care as a whole is behindhand, and I attribute some of that to the greed of our society on a whole. They each wanted to make their money from her illness; she is the one who paid dearly.

I will add that there are good health care and wonderful doctors, nurses, and treatments that are advancing as I write this, but you have to have the knowledge to know what you are up against and to know where to go. I do so hope that our government in each state makes it mandatory that physicians and medical providers have to be very honest and tell their patients all the information so we can make intelligent and informed decisions as to what our treatments will be. I for one don’t care if they tell me I have 6 months and I live for 5 years, or even reverse that, just let me know what I have and point me in some direction. If your health care providers don’t know then they should be honest and say that we’ll have to educate ourselves and find out what and where the best treatment is for what you have been diagnosed with. I want to have the options of doing what I want from my bucket list before I can’t do anything more!

RaeDi and Jacquie ~ 1955

Added: June 21, 2008
Views: 188 | Comments: 5 | Bookmarks: 0

"My Very Special Friends Indeed"

“My Very Special Friends Indeed"

___________________________________

By RaeDi June 2008

I have come a long way in this span of my life

A lone Spirit for some of my travels

Some of the way, it brought some strife

But the best of this journey

I strolled along and kept the same stride

Some of my goings from place to place laid out flat and far

At other times, it seems to be greater up hill

The steep ascents brought some regrets

As I look back, I accept

My own choosing was my own downfalls

Acquired lessons well learned in each and all

Wisdom and age has brought my way

Intensification, growth and immense appreciation

For the friends I have made along my passageway

In them, I have found that right combination

Blended are love, kindness, caring and laughter

Amalgamation of everything I could want

I take with me to the end of my trail

To you each of my friends you brought into being

I am what I am because of each one of my friends

Completeness, my totality, my earnest

Deep appreciation from each one of you

My dearest special friends

Each note, each mention, and precious remark you instilled

Were unfathomable, sincere and heartfelt

Each measure of all your gratitude’s

Imparted to me will be

Cherished and valued I will leave each of these

Deeply – seated in an innate part of my heart

Where my spirit dwells is where you each will be

Each and everyone very dear to me

You are all “Special Friends” indeed…

Added: June 15, 2008
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"Our Coon Cat"

By RaeDi – June 2008

Ning Ma or Ningi as we call her has an identity crises going on. She acts more like a dog than a cat. I have spoken of my beloved Pixie Bob on several occasions. I have countless pictures of her in my photos. You can tell this “cat” isn’t loved at all. As she gets older her behavior changes as quickly as each new day on a calendar. She is a very loving and caring cat. She holds no grudges at all. When you call her she comes right away. She doesn’t make you wait. She is a strange one. I don’t know if it’s the breed or just her. She is as loyal as a dog. She doesn’t hold back like a cat does. She doesn’t meow either, hence her name “Ning Ma” that is her meow. One day last summer I was in a chase lounger and Tom was not far off sitting in the glider, we were relaxing and taking in a nice sunny summer day. A Doe came into the yard. The Doe and Ningi were having eye to eye contact. Before we knew it the Doe was chasing Ningi around the yard. They were going between all the Rhodi’s, then all over the place. Then through several of my flower gardens, I just held my breath. At one point Ningi had come around me laying there in the chase. The Doe was following not too far behind. This Doe was just inches from me and my face, her eye level was equal with mind, and she was coming around the back of the lounger. I sat very still and didn’t make a move. Tom gave me this look that said the same; he looked like he was ready to bolt any minute. He was afraid if I even twitched the Doe would go for me and start kicking. Well Ningi finally made it to our front door; we had left it cracked in case she wanted to go in. The Doe walked right up to the steps leading to our front door. They were in eye to eye contact again; Tom and I were both wondering if the Doe was going to go inside the house. Ningi went on in and disappeared from site. The Doe walked away going towards the far end of our front yard that curved to the right. She was now out of site at the end of our long row of Rhodi’s. It wasn’t but a minute or so when she came back and with her she brought her newly born twin fawns running right beside their momma. You should have seen them. They were slight in size and the color of their light rufus colored fur and the bright white spots was very striking. They had little thin legs and such wee minute size ankles. I had no idea how they could balance themselves let alone walk. After that encounter with the Doe, Ningi takes watch from the windows from inside the house. When any deer of any size and of any age come into our yard she growls at them, the ferocious sound would send a burglar running, leaving behind any intentions of what was planned. Fierce little Ningi, she’d make the best watch cat/dog except for one fact she can’t bark. We have been having a problem with a couple of raccoons that have discovered one of our hummingbird feeders. When they can get hold of the feeder they drink it dry. I noticed that one of them has put on a lot of weight and is now waddling around packing that weight in the hip – butt area (might be female). The other little robber is rather skinny leading us to believe that it is new at the game. The raccoon used to come to the feeder just minutes before dusk; always just a few minutes before we’d bring the feeder in after dusk, because the Hummingbird feeds until all light is gone. The raccoon has discovered when it should show up so it wouldn’t miss its (becoming a regular) sugar high. Tom started bringing it in earlier and earlier and the raccoon started coming earlier and earlier. Tom is trying to outwit a common thief. I don’t know who will win this battle. But Ningi has decided she is a coon cat/dog. The other evening just after 5:00 pm she came running into the kitchen and looked at both of us with concern, she was trying to tell us something. She has developed Uni brows (Neanderthal), when she is serious these brows are comical in size. There Ningi stood looking at us with her serious look with the brows way out there, then she took off like a streak running back into the other room and jumped up on a table that was window ledge high. By the time we were half way there she was coming to get us again. We went in and looked out the window; there on the deck rail was Miss Baby Got Back and Hips as wide as the Mississippi River - it had just finished emptying the hummingbird feeder again. Ningi was standing there looking at the raccoon and then us – back and forth. She had did her coon cat/dog job when she came to get us. We were just a little slow to see what it was she was up too. Next time we will know. But now we’ll ask her, “What’s that?’ or “What’s out there?” She responds just like a dog wagging her tail and heads to the window and looks out. When she sees its all clear she moves on to the next window. It takes her a while – we have a lot of windows, but she is our watch cat/dog. She knew to come and get us, if only she could have given us the coon hound bark, we would have known what she wanted right away. But she knows now if she comes running to get us – we better be hot on her little tail the whole way. She tried her best to communicate to us what was going on without the coon hound bark. It won’t be long before she will be chasing them up the tree.

Ningi is not allowed outside by herself. She’s real brave when there is a window between her and the coons. They’d have her for dinner before she knew what got her. We would never chase coons up in a tree. Well – if Tom has to keep making more nectar and sterilizing the feeders – he just may give it a thought!

Added: June 8, 2008
Views: 246 | Comments: 2 | Bookmarks: 0

"What Will Become - It's Never Too Late"

"Days End"

By RaeDi - 2004

“What Will Become - It’s Never Too Late”

By RaeDi - May 2008

I sit and I listen to the songs of nature

I watch all of her beauty

Her trees that grow skywards

Branches held high and in praise

My feathered friends in all colors

They too praising in the notes that they sing

The doe and her twin fawns innocence

Their virtue, grace living in nature’s tranquility

Poised, prepared to avoid the unknown

In our natural world, what will become

Of nature, our glaciers of blue

We dangle the physical world

We endanger, disturb, annihilate, devastate

Consume, incinerate everything

The rain forests, each, and all bodies of water

Will we contaminate?

What of our air will we struggle for breath?

Our earths the soil will we despoil?

Will we stop our compulsion, our necessitated greed before

Our complete adulteration of all that is, what will exist?

Our self-interests, self-centeredness our own self regard?

Will we awaken before it is too late?

Will our self-indulgence ever be sufficient

To satisfy our greed, how much more do we destroy

Of our natural world

Cram enough materialism for the gratification

Of our so called wants and needs?

Empty indulgences, pile up in our lives

Not just debt permeates our lives

Scrutinize, discover pretention to all degrees

Cleanse our pathetic existence

Release our moral fiber, open our inner self

Back-up and cutinize our spirit

Bring to an end

This hoarding and superfluous lifestyles

There is something that is higher

No wealth is needed

Look within and everything you are surrounded by

Limitless an innate spirit

Inhabits without restraint

Escalation of your spiritual foundation

Wisdom, revitalize what is at our core

The center of all, what was, what is and always will be

Our spirit our soul, giving us guiding principles of our life

This is the immaterial element of our human individualization

Our spiritual significance – it is never too late.

Added: May 31, 2008
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"The Littlest of Nests"

"Mother Calliope Hummingbird Feeding Her Young"

The Calliope is the smallest of area Hummingbirds.

"The Littlest of Nests"

By RaeDi - May 2008

The sun was out and it called to me

I grabbed my sun glasses, blanket and a tall glass of ice tea

Collecting my two books, a drawing pad and camera in hand

I arrived at the hammock placed under the Apple trees

Settled my drink and amble reading material with my paper and inks

The table was just the right size for all of my needs

I situated the blanket in the hammock just so

Thank goodness I had remembered to bring my small pillow

It took less than a few minutes for all to be just right

I lay there listening to all natures calls and her songs

Oh, I stopped to listen what had I just heard

Again I heard to my delite followed the smallest of notes

I spotted it up in the Crabapple tree

A mother hummingbird feeding her young, I could see all three

There in the branches was the littlest of nests

The faint series of their light chip notes

Their songs and the site of the lichen-moss nest

Covered in cobwebs, sitting tightly between two limbs hugging the trunk of the tree

Protection she had found in this Crabapple tree

In just a few days they would all fly free

I lay back in my hammock thinking what a great day

The sun still shining, I’d close my eyes and listened to the music that nature was providing for me

Right there in my backyard it is all there for me, everything I could want and everything I would ever need

For my Spirit Sis, Peg. We together discovered this nest. We were very quite so as to not upset the Calliope and her young. It took each of us back to when we fed and protected our young against any harm that might come their way.

Added: May 29, 2008
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"Nature, Happiness and Recharging My Spirit"

"The Blue Tit"

As I walk along my life’s pathway there are few things of which I can say, "This will give me happiness as long as I live." But I can rest assured that anytime I take the time to look around and take a walk with my eyes as well as my spirit open up to what is truly around me each and everyday I will see that happiness completely surrounds me. If I don’t take the time and enjoy what is at my back door, I am the one to lose. This enjoyment is there for the taking. Each new day brings a new sunrise and beauty in ever corner of my world. At days end is the beauty of the sunset and the magic of the stars and moon as far as one can see. The sounds of nature and the colors of each season all of which has a newness to each and everyday that I take the time to watch and listen. My Maker has colored my world with every color in the rainbow. He has filled the air with every note that is. Not one thing has been withheld from me. I am the one who has to take the time to look and listen to all that is. It is pure delight when I see the birdnest with eggs and the Robin singing her songs for the whole of nature to hear. Since childhood I have had one constant in my life and that is my love of nature. Wanting to know the names of all the trees and plants and birds. As a child I would sit and draw everything that crossed my path. I found at a very young age that my spirit was one with nature. My love of God and the teachings He has shown me everytime I take the time to go for a walk in the woods, or on the beach, up mountains high, by rivers edge, and in the desert too. It didn’t matter where, He is everywhere, He is everthing. This is where I go to recharge my spirit. Nothing is greater than the smallest of all. When my spirit is in pain this is where I go to heal. Here recently my spirit has been bruised and very weak. I find my time I spend in my back yard, just listening to nature’s song, and seeing her beauty and with each breath her pleasing fragrance of her flowers and freshly mowed grass has helped me to heal a little each time I am able to just sit there and let my spirit recharge. I am finding that the fragments of my spirt are mending and I am growing stronger each and everyday.

"Recharging My Spirit"

________________________________________________________

By RaeDi

In my spiritual center as I walk amongst nature

It puts me first in preparing my heart

For those I greet as they pass my way

The abundance of my spiritual gains is there for giving

If I allow the daily grinds and souls in strife

With hate, unhappiness, those souls of emotional drain

What I feel is spiritual pain

My center must love and respect all of nature

Nature is not just human, it is all that is

As a keeper of others it not only feeds my spirit

My gains are vast, some unknowing

The good I do for others feeds my own spirit

Comes with it an understanding

Of God and what he wants of me

Being, in His woods, on His beach all of this He has created

This walk, this journey for spiritual recharging-growth

I in His presence, exposing my thoughts and my heart for what it is

There I am one with Him and one with His love

He allows my spirit this understanding

The giving of oneself

To those in need, balances my spirit

Who am I? Why am I?

The gifts I receive are for giving, helping and loving of all His creatures

Every living thing....

Added: May 27, 2008
Views: 362 | Comments: 3 | Bookmarks: 0

"The Emancipation Oak"

A historic tree located on the campus of Hampton University in what is the city of Hampton Roads, Virginia. The large sprawling oak is 98 feet in diameter, with branches which extend upwards as well as laterally, as if offering refuge. It is designated on of the 10 Great Trees of the World. In 1861, Miss Mary Smith Peake (1823-1862) taught children of former slaves under the tree, which was 3 miles outside of the protective safety of Fort Monroe, and held night classes for adults. In 1863 the Virginia Peninsula's black community gathered under this tree to hear the first Southern Reading about President Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation.

One of it's many students was a young son of a former slave by the name of Booker T. Washington.

Added: May 22, 2008
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"Futher Information On Whales"

"Orca Whale"

"Futher Information on Whales"

Cetaceans, whales and their allies have blowholes that are set high on their head, their forelimbs are modified into flippers, their horizontal tail is called the Fluke, and they are absence of hind limbs. Filter Feeders are called Baleen Whales, they filter plankton. Tooth Whales they feed primarily on fish, squid, and to the lesser extent on other invertebrates.

Here in the Northwest we have Pilot Whales (like but smaller than the Orca), Minke Whale, Gray Whales, Orca Whales, and the Humpback Whale and North Pacific Right Whale which are seen off the coastal waters here in the Pacific Northwest. The other whales visit us down in the Puget Sound. I have over the years seen them from the jumbo ferries while commuting to Seattle; the Captain will usually announce over the Intercom "A Gray Whale is on the starboard side of the vessel." It is so funny for the newbie’s and visitors on the ferry they all make a mad dash to the starboard side of the ferry. You just hope that the Captain refrains from then saying "A Orca has been spotted on the port side of the vessel." (You have to realize these ferries can have up to 360 cars and up to 1500 passengers on board. That is alot of weight running to one side of the boat, I know that it won’t list to the side - but I always pictured this cartoon of the ferry dipping side to side by the whale sightings!)

The Northwest Orca has a huge following of Whale watchers. Individual Orcas can be identified from a good photograph of the animal’s dorsal fin and saddle patch, taken when it surfaces. Catalogues have been published with the photograph of each of the Orcas. This has enabled all the local Orca population to be counted. It is a special sighting when you get to see Mother and a new calf. Each new season the past several years we have had the pleasure of these sightings, as well as sighting of a newly birthed calf with its Momma.

"The North Pacfic Right Whale"

Added: May 20, 2008
Views: 454 | Comments: 2 | Bookmarks: 0

"What Takes My Breath Away"

"Humpback Whale Fluke"

"What Takes My Breath Away"

By RaeDi

You can be on a Charter Boat, Whale Watching Boat, for those of you who have a yacht that will do. (Federal Law requires that you stay at least a quarter of a mile away from the whales.) It doesn’t matter, even just walking along the beach. But when you see it, it is so awesome. Usually it is the water shooting skyward up from the blowhole. When the wind is blowing just right you can feel the salt water mist following the breeze on your face. The blast from the blowhole is sudden and dramatic and can be heard from great distances, and is distinguished by the variety of Whale. Over the years I have been blessed with several whale sightings of my own. Just walking on my beach. I have on several occasions seen differnt kinds of whales. Watching the whales breech the water leaves you feeling a mixture of awe and wonder, the display of the whales at play is so enthralling. I am always captivated by the sight and sounds of these special creatures. Nothing can mesmerize me like seeing a whale and the one thing that takes my breath away is when the whale brings it fluke (tail) high, high, extending higher above the water when going for a deep dive. The impressive enormous size of the fluke gives one the true scope of how very large the whale truly is. I will never tire of watching whales and my favorite sighting is of their fluke towering high above the water, knowing that this massive creature with its grace will be going down from the surface for a very deep dive. I have one sighting that I will never leave behind; it will be with me until the day I pass on. I was flying into Anchorage, ALaska several years ago. The weather was very clear and sunny. I had a window seat and was watching the Alaska Mountains, looking at them you could see where the tree level stopped and the mountains were still being forced towards the heavens. I remember they had had a dusting of snow. To me it looked like our Maker had taken a paint brush with white paint and had done a quick stroke of the brush over the tips of the mountains. It was beautiful and then something else caught my eye, even more breathtaking. There in Cook’s Inlet I saw around two dozen or more Beluga Whales in Ballet. There quite gracefulness, and eloquent moves around the inlet sharing this water with so many sisters and calves was as smooth and with such dignity, like someone was choreographing this whole scene. I couldn’t get over how poised the whole scene was. I wanted to just stay right there in time and watch the wondrous site. I love the Ballet, but this is the best show by far I have ever witnessed. When I think about it now it is like it is right in front of me again. I was so captivated, it has been retained in my mind for all of time, this evidence of what I had seen years ago, and I have no doubt that this view in my mind will never take leave. I now often wonder at all the things that I have seen, in the short minute of time I have had here on this earth, what will we see when we move on. How blessed that must be. I don’t think that even I have enough of an imagination to be able to even have a peak. When I see the whales it not only takes my breath away I am enchanted in ways that has never beeen duplicated.

"The Beluga Whale"

Added: May 20, 2008
Views: 353 | Comments: 2 | Bookmarks: 0

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