AARP Member
Offline
Background
Name: Debby
Gender: Female
Religion: Christian/Protestant
Location:
Texas
United States
School:
So. Garland High School - Garland, TX
Work:
Wide variety working with people
Hometown(s):
AL
AK
CA
TX
Quote:
"I chose the road less traveled, now where the heck am I?"

Dealing With Adult Children

 I find dealing with an adult child to be most challenging, especially one that has made some VERY BAD choices.  Unfortunately for her children, siblings, parents, step-parents, and ex-husbands her choices have a domino effect.  At a time when I should be responsible only for myself I feel it is my duty to deal with her fall-out by opening my home to her youngest child which CPS removed from her along with the two older children who are with my daughters father and his wife.  At mid-night last night I received a call from my ex-wife in-law ( my term for my first ex-husbands wife) letting me know the latest on this adult child and it was not pretty.  Sad thing is in my daughters mind everything she has done and the mess her life is in is ALL MY FAULT.  Out of four children she is the only one that is having these problems.  The other three are all functioning people with a spouse and children.  They accept responsibility for their own choices and provide stable, loving homes for their children.  Thank God for the people who started the Al-Anon program,  It has been the one thing to keep me sane these last two years.  My husband (2nd marriage) gave me a choice, it was either him or my granddaughter.  Hence - D I V O R C E D.  I don't have alot of respect for an adult that is so selfish that he would insist on a child being placed with strangers because she cramps his style, especially when his son lived with us for four years. 

Ok, I feel better now.  Later this day I will be going out of town for a few days to visit a friend ALL BY MYSELF.  I feel like a kid let out of confinement.  I truly love and enjoy my granddaughter but after this past month I need a break so she will spend a couple of days with one of my son's and his family.  She will have fun and I will have the opportunity to refuel.

Have you started your codependents group? I need it now more than ever since it was brought to my attention that my estranged husband shows strong characteristics of NPD. Know who is most attracted to a person with NPD? Codependents!!!!
Posted: July 10, 2008 2:13PM EDT
I apologize for taking so long in responding. I was out of town on a much needed respite. I would love to join your group. God knows I need it. I just found out last night that my husband is already making plans to reunite with his first wife and our divorce is not even final. It isn't that I want him back but I have always known, or should I say felt in my gut, that he wanted that yet when I would ask him he would deny it and say that I was just stirring up trouble. He doesn't know that I am privy to this information yet. At least with my daughter doing her thing and him doing his I can't focus to much on just one of them (LOL). I realized in church today that I definately need to work the steps on this relationship if for no other reason than to recover my own self-worth
Posted: July 6, 2008 2:34PM EDT
Would you be interested in the codependents anonymous group that I'm starting in this online community???
Posted: July 3, 2008 11:42PM EDT
Add your Comments:

  Submit  
journal Details
Added: Jul 3, 2008
Views: 155
Comments: 3
Bookmarks: 0
Groups
No groups selected.
Tags
No tags selected.