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As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. (from the Internet)
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. (from the Internet)
PattyComments (3)
Patty says:
I have sent you 3 posts already and not sure any of them got through to you. I don't know if this one will either, this new board has really got me confused. They just changed to this new board a couple of months ago. I didn't want you to think I just didn't care.
I know what you are going through, you are early in your grief and still have a lot more stages to go through. You will find this online community will help you get through the stages, when you think you are going completely insane you will find we mothers who have lost children have had the same feelings, thoughts etc.
This is not an easy road we travel and I wish I could say Hey it will be alright, but time does not heal this wound. I, like you, find me missing Chad more and more each day which deepens the pain. It has been 4 years for me, and some days I do okay and other days it's like the wound is still fresh. I call it my emotional roller coaster.
When my father died 36 years ago, it took me almost 20 years to back to his grave. I find with my son I visit every chance I get. There is no right or wrong way to this grief process and don't let anyone tell you how fast or slow you will move through it. People can be so cruel and they mean well, but unless they have lost a child they have no idea what we are going through. One of my other sons said one time "well I lost a brother" not the same, it's not their child. I do understand what you going through, and you do whatever gets you by, take one day at time. Don't apologize to anyone about how you feel, you feel and do what you want, you've earned that right.
My kids and family don't understand why sometimes I won't participate in family things, but they willhave to deal with that, I am dealing with own heartache. As for your other son, I don't envy you, I know how those teenage issues go, I had 3 teenage boys in my house at one time.
Better go running out of characters, please let me know if you get this message.
Patty
I know what you are going through, you are early in your grief and still have a lot more stages to go through. You will find this online community will help you get through the stages, when you think you are going completely insane you will find we mothers who have lost children have had the same feelings, thoughts etc.
This is not an easy road we travel and I wish I could say Hey it will be alright, but time does not heal this wound. I, like you, find me missing Chad more and more each day which deepens the pain. It has been 4 years for me, and some days I do okay and other days it's like the wound is still fresh. I call it my emotional roller coaster.
When my father died 36 years ago, it took me almost 20 years to back to his grave. I find with my son I visit every chance I get. There is no right or wrong way to this grief process and don't let anyone tell you how fast or slow you will move through it. People can be so cruel and they mean well, but unless they have lost a child they have no idea what we are going through. One of my other sons said one time "well I lost a brother" not the same, it's not their child. I do understand what you going through, and you do whatever gets you by, take one day at time. Don't apologize to anyone about how you feel, you feel and do what you want, you've earned that right.
My kids and family don't understand why sometimes I won't participate in family things, but they willhave to deal with that, I am dealing with own heartache. As for your other son, I don't envy you, I know how those teenage issues go, I had 3 teenage boys in my house at one time.
Better go running out of characters, please let me know if you get this message.
Patty
Posted: April 21, 2008 9:52AM EDT
okeyjokey says:
Patty:
I did get this post. Thank you for your willingness to communicate. That means so much to know that there are others out there who have gone through (and are still in) the pain.
People have stopped asking how we are doing--everyone else's lives are "normal" while ours will never be normal ever again. I do think that I will try to get the three of us into counseling soon. Our son went a year ago, and it seemed to help him somewhat, but he thought it was a waste of time. I have since heard about another place to try, and will get the contact information tonight. All three of us need to go, so I do have to find someone who will accommodate all of us.
It really does help to have someone to communicate with who has already gone through this. Thank you, again, for your post!!
Jo
I did get this post. Thank you for your willingness to communicate. That means so much to know that there are others out there who have gone through (and are still in) the pain.
People have stopped asking how we are doing--everyone else's lives are "normal" while ours will never be normal ever again. I do think that I will try to get the three of us into counseling soon. Our son went a year ago, and it seemed to help him somewhat, but he thought it was a waste of time. I have since heard about another place to try, and will get the contact information tonight. All three of us need to go, so I do have to find someone who will accommodate all of us.
It really does help to have someone to communicate with who has already gone through this. Thank you, again, for your post!!
Jo
Posted: April 21, 2008 8:23PM EDT
Patty says:
Jo,
You just have to be careful if it is group counseling, that is like a train wreck. Not only are you dealing with your problems your heart is going out to all the other people who have lost their children. It helps some people but not for me. My main support comes from right here, it lets me know I am not alone in my pain. I also feel counselors, psychiarists etc do not know how you really feel, most is just what they have learned in books. This kind of pain, you can't learn from a book. But like I said before, you do what you need to do to get by, every day is a struggle. We have to go on living while some days we don't know why. I have no friends any more, they have normal happy lives while I am stuck in my grief. I am better than I was 4 years ago, but still not the same person. I have said for the past 4 years I don't like the person I have become. I am always down, the anger inside me is overwhelming and yes it does surface often.
You just have to be careful if it is group counseling, that is like a train wreck. Not only are you dealing with your problems your heart is going out to all the other people who have lost their children. It helps some people but not for me. My main support comes from right here, it lets me know I am not alone in my pain. I also feel counselors, psychiarists etc do not know how you really feel, most is just what they have learned in books. This kind of pain, you can't learn from a book. But like I said before, you do what you need to do to get by, every day is a struggle. We have to go on living while some days we don't know why. I have no friends any more, they have normal happy lives while I am stuck in my grief. I am better than I was 4 years ago, but still not the same person. I have said for the past 4 years I don't like the person I have become. I am always down, the anger inside me is overwhelming and yes it does surface often.
Posted: April 22, 2008 8:57AM EDT
