On Monday I attended the funeral of keri Shryock, a beautiful, smart, caring young woman who died in a tragic accident.  She was a playing a role in a Christmas program at a megachurch in Cincinnati and fell from a cable 25 feet in the air, to her death last week.  Keri was my student in her freshman year and because we both were members of the Chapman Community at Kohl Hall, Bowling Green State University, we worked together on projects for the next four years.  She founded a coed club gymnastics program and asked me to be the faculty sponsor.  She was a smart woman who always had a ready smile, though I know she battled depression.  I am heart broken by her death.  And I am angry at the church where she died, for putting her in this position, for feeling the need to put on Christmas "shows," as the megachurch preacher kept saying at her funeral.  It seems like hubris to me and a great waste of a beautiful life that was just getting started. 

A couple days ago I was walking with my handsome young cocker boy Darby in our lovely St. John's Woods.  An elderly gentleman met us on the path and immdaiaely cried out, to my dog "Oh, you remind me of my cocker, Queenie, except she was  buff."  We stopped and talked to Howard and once Darby got over his rescue dog skittishness, he allowed Howard to pet him.  Howard told me about his beloved cocker spaniel, Queenie, whom he used to take hunting.  Howard claimed she was the best pheasant dog ever and once pointed a small bush where they were hunting.  Howard said, ""Queenie,. you must be wrong this time."  And then she flushed out a big pheasant from that little bush.  She was right." " Howard introduced himself to me and I to Darby and me, said we ere pleased to meet each other and went our way, smiling.  Later in the walk, which is big, but circular, we met Howard again.  He stopped to pet Darby again and said, "At the end of Queenie's life, I took her hunting with me one last time and she got so tired I carried her.  When I saw a phesant, I put her close to the bush and she let me know the pheasant was there.  She was so proud."  I wished him well as we walked our ways and thought again, since I had lost an old cocker two years ago, "Our dogs never leave us.  They continue to love us and enrich our li9ves even when they're passed on."  Howard is a beautiful man, and Queenie was an amazing dog.

>San Francisco Chronicle: Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin dies

> 

>Rachel Gordon, Chronicle Staff Writer

> 

>(08-27) 14:57 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- Del Martin, a lesbian rights pioneer

>who took part in one of California’s first same-sex weddings, died

>today in San Francisco after a long period of declining health. She was

>87.

> 

>Ms. Martin’s political activism began more than five decades ago when

>in 1955 she co-founded a ground-breaking lesbian rights organization,

>Daughters of Bilitis, named after a book of lesbian love poetry. On

>June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were married at

>San Francisco City Hall by Mayor Gavin Newsom.

> 

>"Her last act of activism was her most personal - marrying the love of

>her life," said Kate Kendell, a long-time friend of the couple and

>executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

> 

>Ms. Martin died this morning at UCSF Hospice, nearly two weeks after

>she was admitted with a broken arm.

> 

>"Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would

>come when she wouldn’t be by my side," Lyon said in a statement issued

>by the National Center for Lesbian Rights. "I am so lucky to have known

>her, loved her and been her partner in all things.

> 

>"I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be

>able to get married," Lyon said. "I am devastated, but I take some

>solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and

>commitment before she passed."

> 

>Ms. Martin had been in ailing health for some time, weakened to the

>point where she was pushed in a wheelchair to her wedding ceremony.

>In an interview in her hillside Noe Valley home just days before she

>wed, Ms. Martin described as fortunate the timing of the California

>Supreme Court decision that gave gays and lesbians the right to marry.

> 

>"We’re not getting younger," she said.

> 

>Ms. Martin and Lyon were plaintiffs in the lawsuit that got the state

>ban on same-sex marriage lifted. They were married minutes after the

>ruling took effect.

> 

>Four years ago, when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed marriage

>licenses to be issued to gay and lesbian couples in San Francisco in

>defiance of state law, Ms. Martin and Lyon were the first of some 4,000

>same-sex couples to wed. Those marriages were later nullified by the

>state’s high court but paved the way for the successful legal

>challenge.

> 

>"We would never have marriage equality in California if it weren’t for

>Del and Phyllis," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the San Francisco

>Democrat. "They fought and triumphed in many battles, beginning when

>they first bought a home together in San Francisco in

1955."

> 

>Pelosi called the death of Ms. Martin "a great loss for me personally

>and for our entire community."

> 

>Newsom, who said Ms. Martin "laid the groundwork for all those who want

>a life of dignity," ordered the flags at City Hall and the rainbow

>gay-pride flag on Market Streets to be flown at half-staff until sunset

>Thursday.

> 

>Ms. Martin’s activist reach extended into the feminist movement, when

>she became the first open lesbian to serve on the board of directors of

>the National Organization of Women, and she helped spearhead a

>successful campaign to get the American Psychiatric Association to

>remove homosexuality from its roster of mental

illnesses.

> 

>In 1995, Sen. Dianne Feinstein named her as a delegate to the White

>House Conference on Aging, where she and Lyon, a delegate appointed by

>Pelosi, focused attention on the needs of aging gays and lesbians.

> 

>Ms. Martin, whose given name was Dorothy but who went by Del, was born

>in San Francisco on May 5, 1921. Her first marriage, at age 19, was

>brief, but produced a daughter, Kendra Mon, who lives in Petaluma. She

>is also survived by two grandchildren.

> 

>Friends and family plan to hold a public tribute to Ms. Martin in the

>near future. Details have not been set.

> 

>E-mail Rachel Gordon at rgordon@sfchronicle.com.

> 

>http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/27/BAGI12JDIS.DT

> 

>San Francisco Chronicle: Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin dies

> 

>Rachel Gordon, Chronicle Staff Writer

> 

>(08-27) 14:57 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- Del Martin, a lesbian rights pioneer

>who took part in one of California's first same-sex weddings, died

>today in San Francisco after a long period of declining health. She was

>87.

> 

>Ms. Martin's political activism began more than five decades ago when

>in 1955 she co-founded a ground-breaking lesbian rights organization,

>Daughters of Bilitis, named after a book of lesbian love poetry. On

>June 16, she and her partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were married at

>San Francisco City Hall by Mayor Gavin Newsom.

> 

>"Her last act of activism was her most personal - marrying the love of

>her life," said Kate Kendell, a long-time friend of the couple and

>executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

> 

>Ms. Martin died this morning at UCSF Hospice, nearly two weeks after

>she was admitted with a broken arm.

> 

>"Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would

>come when she wouldn't be by my side," Lyon said in a statement issued

>by the National Center for Lesbian Rights. "I am so lucky to have known

>her, loved her and been her partner in all things.

> 

>"I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be

>able to get married," Lyon said. "I am devastated, but I take some

>solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and

>commitment before she passed."

> 

>Ms. Martin had been in ailing health for some time, weakened to the

>point where she was pushed in a wheelchair to her wedding ceremony.

>In an interview in her hillside Noe Valley home just days before she

>wed, Ms. Martin described as fortunate the timing of the California

>Supreme Court decision that gave gays and lesbians the right to marry.

> 

>"We're not getting younger," she said.

> 

>Ms. Martin and Lyon were plaintiffs in the lawsuit that got the state

>ban on same-sex marriage lifted. They were married minutes after the

>ruling took effect.

> 

>Four years ago, when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed marriage

>licenses to be issued to gay and lesbian couples in San Francisco in

>defiance of state law, Ms. Martin and Lyon were the first of some 4,000

>same-sex couples to wed. Those marriages were later nullified by the

>state's high court but paved the way for the successful legal

>challenge.

> 

>"We would never have marriage equality in California if it weren't for

>Del and Phyllis," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the San Francisco

>Democrat. "They fought and triumphed in many battles, beginning when

>they first bought a home together in San Francisco in

1955."

> 

>Pelosi called the death of Ms. Martin "a great loss for me personally

>and for our entire community."

> 

>Newsom, who said Ms. Martin "laid the groundwork for all those who want

>a life of dignity," ordered the flags at City Hall and the rainbow

>gay-pride flag on Market Streets to be flown at half-staff until sunset

>Thursday.

> 

>Ms. Martin's activist reach extended into the feminist movement, when

>she became the first open lesbian to serve on the board of directors of

>the National Organization of Women, and she helped spearhead a

>successful campaign to get the American Psychiatric Association to

>remove homosexuality from its roster of mental

illnesses.

> 

>In 1995, Sen. Dianne Feinstein named her as a delegate to the White

>House Conference on Aging, where she and Lyon, a delegate appointed by

>Pelosi, focused attention on the needs of aging gays and lesbians.

> 

>Ms. Martin, whose given name was Dorothy but who went by Del, was born

>in San Francisco on May 5, 1921. Her first marriage, at age 19, was

>brief, but produced a daughter, Kendra Mon, who lives in Petaluma. She

>is also survived by two grandchildren.

> 

>Friends and family plan to hold a public tribute to Ms. Martin in the

>near future. Details have not been set.

> 

>E-mail Rachel Gordon at rgordon@sfchronicle.com.

> 

>http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/27/BAGI12JDIS.DT

> 

This is the first day of a new semester for me and year 21 of my teaching career.  Our society and its pressures are harder on this generation (born in 1990!) than ever before.  Whenever you meet a young person, encourage them with a smile or a comment of support for their role as a college student or in the workforce.  18 year olds get a bad rap.  Most of the ones I know work, go to school, have relationships, pay for a car,  and in some cases, help support their parents, take care of their elderly grandparents or great-grandparents.  If you get to know some young people, sign up on Facebook and send them supportive messages or send care packaes to their dorms.  Not everyone has grandparents still living or parents who are supportive.

Blessings all,

Cynthia

ps.  Oh, yes, and say a prayer for their teachers.

...it could be a matter of life and death.  Our women's community recently found out that one of our number, a South Korean lesbian studying nursing in this country committed suicide when her parents insisted she come home and get married.  This oyung woman had long identified as a lesbian and came here to study knowing she would have more acceptance here.  She was a good, kind person, who helped people move, built decks for people, and volunteered every year for the Michigan Womyn's Festival.  She was also very isolated and lonely, despite our best efforts to offer our friendship.

As I thought about her tragic death, I thought about the cultural issues and homophobia of her Korean family.  ASnd then I realized the same thing happens every day in our country by American parents toward their gay and lesbian children.  It is estimated that 90% of the homeless teens in Seattle and Portland are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and have been made unwelcome at home by their parents.

As a lesbian mother with a 19 year old son, I don't think there is anything my son could do that would make me disown him or hot love him.  Parents,  Love your children.  The fact hat they are gay or lesbian is about them, not about you.  Support and love them.

  I fully intended to go to my great church today, but slept through.  I have no willpower when it comes to the alarm, that is, to turning it off.  I keep late hours as I have a young adult son in the house and still don't seem to sleep well until he is in from his midnight ramblings.  he's a good fella; don't get me wrong--he is out playing music and going to local shows with his friends, seeing his wonderful girlfriend, skateboarding for 6 hours straight, or writing poetry.

Anyway, I stay up late watching west coast baseball games--the LA Angels of Anaheim (if that isn't the silliest team name in baseball, I don't know what is) got posterized by the Blue Jays last night, reading trashy mysteries (mostly Robert B. Parker), and letting my dog in and out (his hobby).  Oh, and writing on MySpace (see Indigo), Facebook (see Cynthia Mahaffey).  Then the daytime is a whole 'nother story.

Today, since I didn't go to church, I went to my favorite diner, Kermit's, Bowling Green, OH and had breakfast andtheir homemade rhubarb pie.  read it and weep, pie lovers!  I have collected diners all my life and Kermit's is a top ranking one among many states.I

The fall semester is rushing up on me and I am trying to enjoy my summer and start getting my head in the school game, which is not easy.  I will work a little every day until I get all my classes up on line (Blackboard for you university types). Three first-year composition classes and a women's studies class this fall.  I still love teaching and the students.  I am a lucky woman.

  I am enjoying this new feature of AARP. org--at least new to me.  I hope you all will share your thoughts about life, teaching, learning, tattoos, NPR, reading, children and grandchildren, pets, cooking and whatever else fascinates you.

I am an alomost 56 year old out lesbian professor at a big public university and lvoe my work. This is eyar 21 for me in college teaching and I also taught 6 years in alternative high schools.  I teach mostly first year students every eyar and really find them wodnerful--fuill of big dreams, cocky, unsure, sweet, mean, handsome, not so handsome, kind, hard-working.  Too many our age see only the negative about this generation.  Talk to some before you sell them short.

Let's have,as the Robert Randolph Family Band says, "More love," in this hard old world.

Namaste,

Indigogirl 17