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 Lost and Found

I have lost the art of loving
without shame and without fear
without counting what I’m giving
seeking balance year by year

I have lost the skill of feeling
warmth of sun from flower blooms
colors that once had me reeling
fade to gray in shadowed rooms

I have lost the knack of living
every second of each day
sleeping, waking, walking, sitting
blend to one and waste away

what’s the secret to re-finding
skills I’ve lost along the way
will it take a full re-minding
to get back what’s gone astray

baby steps the path will start
bits and bytes can build to words
in the chambers of the heart
notes rekindle songs I’ve heard

overcoming childhood wrongs
starting fresh with each new day
loving, feeling, living strong
we can build a better way

c.2008

Brain Magic

once there was a little girl
who had a magic brain
making pleasure out of naught
and blocking all the pain

small ones have no fighting strength
all they can do is cry
silence is their greatest skill
and hiding lest they die

far too many knew the score
and chose to turn away
we now know our inner strength
and where they are today

living is the best revenge
growing strong and true
they can hurt no others now
and all their sins are through

little girls grow old and gray
but magic still remains
drawing joy from each new day
and letting go of pain

c.2008

Aftermath

what's the when
and where's the who
whatever have they done to you

up is down
and bed is red
why the pounding in your head

drop to floor
and try to stand
crawl the wall hand over hand

fuzzy sight
and ringing ears
other people should be here

reeling walls
and rocking floor
stumble to the bathroom door

throat so swollen
words can't pass
see the monster in the glass

stagger back
and try to scream
try to wake up from this dream

black swelled eyes
and cuts that bleed
the monster in the glass is me

find the phone
and make the call
then slide slowly down the wall

no one moves
that I can see
are they live or dead like me

light fades out
and shock sets in
now the rescue can begin

never speak
of what was done
mem'ries wiped from every one

draw the curtains
lock doors fast
pretend that we are safe at last

ask no questions
tell no lies
playing dumb is being wise

c. 2008

Waiting for Daddy (there's a painting of this one)

she cradles the arm
that was broken and burned
and cradles her belly
while waiting her turn 

the moon thru the glass
spreads a glow on the floor
she stares into space
with her back to the door 

she can't see him coming
but knows he'll be there
the only fair warning's
the creak of the stair 

the gauze curtains mock her
so light on the breeze
as she longs to fly free
o'er the tops of the trees

c. 2008

Deathwatch

Oh, I have brushed too oft with Death
and he is courting me
I know the paths that he will take
his handiwork I see

I know his sign, his ways and tells
the strength of his soft grasp
I know the ease he promises
I know the sleep that lasts

I've seen him take both near and dear
and strangers in my path
with soft embrace of endless sleep
or thunderbolts of wrath

He hovers o'er deep water
and by the narrow ledge
enticing souls to take the plunge
and step over the edge

He dances midst the traffic
and drifts by hospice beds
and I see his chosen marked by hoods
of darkness o'er their heads

He's held me in his arms before
and I've felt his chill breath
then fought my way back from the light
leaving him alone, bereft

And now he wanders through my life
and whispers in my ear
he runs his fingers thru the hair
of those that I hold dear

...

I know this isn't finished
the end is not in sight
though his hold is not diminished
nor is my will to fight

c. 2008