This Is An Open Letter To

Any Lady Who Would Like To Be Served Breakfast In Bed

And

All Married Men

And

 Single Men with a Lady Significant Other

BE PREPARED TO PRINT THIS OUT AND

PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY TO THE VERY END !!

Are you old enough to remember the 1969 "Woodstock Festival" and the weird guy  "Wavy Gravy?"  He was the guy who got up on the stage one morning during the concert and proclaiming "What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand!"  Well, gentlemen; what I have in mind is helping you serve breakfast in bed to your wife or significant other for the upcoming Valentines Day.  Hopefully enough of you will take my advice and we can also claim to have served breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.  I'll explain why in just a moment.

First, you don't have to go to the kitchen and drag out pots and pans.  You don't have to cook eggs and a meat product of some kind.  However, your need to do some pre-planning to familiarize yourself with the kitchen and it's contents.  You may need to stop by your favorite grocery store a day or two before you attempt this. The following is how you could do it very simply:

Here we go.  On Valentines Day morning, go to the kitchen.  Pull out a tray.  Place on it a small bowl full of her favorite cold cereal.  One measured cup of cereal is enough.  Now take the measuring cup you just used and fill it with milk (preferably skimmed milk).  If your wife uses sugar, place a very small container of it on the tray.  If your wife uses a sweetener instead of sugar, place two packets of her favorite sweetener on top of the cereal (she'll know what to do with it).  Next, pour her favorite fruit juice into a glass and place it on the tray (preferably in the upper right side, she'll probably grab that first).  Oh, by the way, in your pre-planning you need to find out about your wife's favorite fruit juice. Further, if it's orange juice, you also need to know if she enjoys it with or without pulp and does she require it be low acid?  Yes, these things are important.

Is there any of you who don't know how to use the toaster?  Place two slices of bread in the toaster and keep a sharp eye on them.  When they are done to your wife's light or darkness preferences, take them out of the toaster and place them on a small plate.  Place the plate on the tray just above the cereal bowl.  I can hear you asking, "What about buttering the toast?"  Bro, do you know if she likes butter on her toast or not?  If you don't know, shame on you.  In any case, finding out about the butter situation.  Also honey, jam, jelly or preserves in a very small container might also be a nice touch.  It is also part of the pre-planning mentioned above. 

OK, how does your wife take her coffee?  Does she take it black, with cream and sugar/sweetener?  Does she prefer flavored/unflavored regular coffees, cafecito, cappuccino, or tea.  Is just the fruit juice enough?   You gotta find these things out in the pre-planning.  Anyway, if it's coffee or tea, make it to her taste.  Place it in the upper left corner of the tray.  Now, take a quick look.  Your tray should consist of, in clockwise order: coffee/tea, toast, fruit juice, and a bowl of cereal.  It's time for the finishing touches.  You'll need a napkin (preferably cloth), a spoon (get the right size), and maybe a butter knife (see butter and jelly above).  THAT IS IT.  No, Wait, go to you're hiding place and bring in the three rose bud vase you purchases and hid last evening (also see pre-planning).  Oh, and the card.. Don't forget the Valentines Day card.  Place it in the spot between the toast and the fruit juice.  YOU'RE DONE!  Take it into the bedroom and remember to say "Happy Valentines Day" as you walk into the room and "I love you" as you put the tray down.

So, what makes me an authority of this you may ask?  Well, I'm really not any kind of authority.  I'm just a normal, "run of the mill" businessman.  But about fifteen years ago my wife, Hilda, and I made an arrangement of sorts.  I really disliked getting our two children up in the morning for school so for my convenience I changed our morning ritual.  I would get up first, take my shower, and head for the kitchen.  I'd make breakfast followed by the kid's "brown bag" school lunches.   While I did this, my wife Hilda got up, showered and dressed herself, got the kids up, got them showered, dressed and ready for school.  About five years ago, Hilda found out that she had developed a POSSIBLE heart condition.  We found this hard to believe because Hilda was only in her mid forties.  Because of this and the fact that we live in a two story house, I started then to serve her breakfast upstairs.  Since there is no table in the bedroom, we enjoyed our breakfast every morning in bed. 

I won't be doing the Valentines Day gig this year.  That "possible" heart condition I mentioned a moment ago took Hilda away from us on December 14th.  The butterflies I get in my stomach along with the lump in the throat are somewhat less frequent now but February 14^th is going to be a very uncomfortable day at our household.  That's why I'm proposing breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand women.

Gentlemen, I never dreamed that I would out live Hilda.  I took her for granted, I didn't tell her enough how much I loved her and I'm really wishing I had just one more Valentines Day with her.  If I would have known last year what I know now, believe me, I'd do the pre-planning.  I'd do the things I said at the top of this letter that you wouldn't have to do.  I'd make the eggs and bacon or ham.  I'd probably serve it on a silver platter with the best china, crystal, and silverware I could find.  I'd also change some other thing I did in the past.  I wouldn't wait until Valentines Day and then rush into the nearest card shop and grab up anything I could find from the last dwindling remaining cards.  I can tell you, that card rack looks much nicer three or four days before and the selection is excellent.  I'd get her a very nice gift and would probably stretch a lot on the price to value issue.  Besides the gift I'd also give her flowers.  I'd much rather be giving her flowers than taking some to where I'll probably be taking flowers this Valentines Day.  I'd probably take the day off from work and try to spend every second with Hilda.  I'd tell her a million times during the day how much I love her and I'd do so standing up and during daylight hours.  So, Guys, take that chance while you have it.  You never know if she's going to be here for the next Valentines Day or any other occasion in the future. Let me know how it turns out for you.

John Olexa

Florida Businessman

VERY IMPORTANT – THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG

Eight years ago this week I wrote this as an email and sent it to a bunch of people I know.  Because of the response I've updated it every year since and remind people of the importance of "Breakfast In Bed" on Valentines Day.  Now in the present I must admit the purpose of this piece was not to elicit sympathy for the author.   Believe me, I'm well beyond that.  But that brings me to the most important thing!!  This year Friday, February 5^th  is "National Wear Red" day .  Allow me to explain.  The American Heart Association has a program throughout the month of February they call "Go Red For Women."   They are on a mission to raise awareness that CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE (guys, that's heart disease) is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES TODAY.   I'll bet if I were to ask you what the number one killer is of American women, you'd probably say breast cancer or maybe even something else.  That would be incorrect .  Although breast cancer is a really nasty thing, it's not common knowledge even among the medical community as to what is the number one killer and worse yet, what the symptoms are.  You see, Cardiovascular Disease claims about 500,000 women's lives a year.  That's more than the next six causes of death combined -- including all forms of cancer. You can read all about it and more importantly SHARE it with the women you love by going to their website.

http://www.goredforwomen.org

After visiting the sight please get a Red Dress lapel pin for you and your lovely lady and wear it for the rest of this month. You'll understand why when you check out the website.  It is very important to encourage the lovely ladies in your life to wear a red dress or at least something primarily red on Friday, February 5th.   I would be very grateful if you would send me pictures of these ladies either individually or in the case of a group (office staff or group, hair salon, family, etc) a picture of the group.  Thank you, thank you, and thank you!!  Also, thank you SO MUCH to the lovely ladies who DID wear a red dress over the past few years.  And further, thank you to those who I RECEIVED PICTURES from (both individual women as well as from women who organized and formed groups) who wore their red dresses.  My heart was touched.

~!~

John