"Your Special Day"
 
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Date Created:
May 15, 2008
Category:
Family & Friends »
Retirement Communities
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Public
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rae1tom AARP Member
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"Your Special Day"
This group was formed to showcase the person that exemplifies what a true special friend is. A friend that puts you and everyone else before him or herself. A friend is: person who knows and likes another. Comrade, patron, crony, companion, supporter, and advocate. Special: a particular kind, distinct from others, different from what is ordinary, exceptional , a great or special friend. We are here to celebrate the uniqueness of a person that puts his/her friends and even strangers before oneself. This group is here for you to nominate who you feel has and demonstrates all the attributes that is and makes a person stand above all others. This person finds peace in any storm, finds love when there is discontent, and has a heart that shows not only love but has complete empathy for all fellow humans. THERE WILL BE ONLY TWO FORUMS: 1. The "Special Day Recepient's" (only) 2. Questions? If you would like to nominate someone for the next "Special Friend Day" please send a message to anyone of the members of this group or to all if you like. This way whoever receieved the "Special Day" won't know about it, until the day he/she is awarded. You can contact anyone of the members if you want to find out anything or have questions. That or use Forum 2 for quesitons. Thank you, we look forwards to questions and your nominee's. If you are a member of this group you are also a "Moderators." This group works as one, one for all. It you do happen to get a nominee please to let the rest of us know....RaeDi "THOSE YOU HONORED AS SPECIAL PERSON" ~ Michael Rogers ~ May, 2008 ~ ~ ....RaeDi ~ June, 2008 ~ ~ Kinge/Ed ~ July, 2008 ~ ~ Jen43/Peg ~ August, 2008 ~ ~ Tinky ~ September, 2008~
  Post to Topic     Print   My Neighbor Shirley!!!!!
http://www.aarp.org/community/groups/displayTopic.bt?groupId=7111&topicId=2084292
bearjack4 said:
on May 11, 2009 08:02 PM ET

I have lived at my address for three years.  My Neighbor Shirley is going to be 89 years in November!  She lives alone and never has any Family or visitors!

What can I say about  Her?  She is a spunky and somewhat "crusty" lady and the neighbors have dubbed her a mean old lady!

I have taken the time to get to know her while I have lived here, but she hasn't made it easy.  I worry about her and try to check on her as often as possible.

She has a habit of alienating people but I have tried to persist and today we had a breakthrough, She asked for my help for the first time.

I bought her two night gowns for Mothers Day and flowers, her reply was they probably won't fit! bit I didn't care.

I worry she is not getting the nutrition she needs, but do not what to do about taking her food that she might bea able to eat.

Her house is immaculate but she is so very independent and abrasive that noone in the neighborhood wants anything to do with her!

Any suggestions on what kind of foods I might be able to take her?

She is so stubborn , I just know she is lonely and scared, but too proud to accept help!

 
1 post by 1 user
daisydoyle
Post #1
daisydoyle said:
on May 12, 2009 12:06 AM ET

First of all, I think it is commendable that you want to help, as it sounds obvious that the need is there.  She probably is happy both for the attention and the help, but isn't able to say so.  She did accept the gifts, didn't she?


It is my feeling that people like Shirley have been hurt by relationships in the past and have built a huge wall around themselves so they won't be hurt again.  Acting like you don't care, never showing a softness or a kind word, you won't have people making fun of you or thinking that you are lonely.  Not sure that I am putting this right.  I think more than anything Shirley needs attention.  Perhaps you can get her talking about how things were in the past, how she coped with WWII, how did people manage during the depression, etc.  Ask sincerely with an interest in her answers.  Sometimes you will be rebuked, but hopefully when she sees that you are not going to give up on her she will come around.


As far as giving her food, I have no clue.  Most of us, as we get older, may have some digestion problems.  Try and talk about the foods you like, the foods your mother or other relative used to cook, and what you miss the most.  You might find out her thoughts on food that way.  Do you stop by on the way to the store and offer to pick up something she might need?


Good luck.  I know that she is worth the effort, and you are a blessing to her whether she acknowledges it or not.


Maggie