Wow!  What a wonderful attitude!  I don't think I have grown nearly as much as you have!   Good for you!!!!

SallyJo

Life changes. I know I have to change with it. Pre-divorce holidays are not the same as they are now. That is o.k. If I am home alone I will be just fine. I have plans to go to my sister's and my kids will go to their dad's (his year). I am o.k. with that too. Pre-divorce, one of my worries was possibly ending up alone on holidays. I don't even give that a thought now. I can now accept that may happen sometimes and be just fine with it.

Sanddollar27 

What a wonderful role model you are for your daughter!

SallyJo

I have been divorced for almost 4 yrs. - I have a 16 year old daughter.  My daughter alternates holidays with her father and myself.  This year she is with me for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.  She does not like turkey so for Thanksgiving we will eat at  a  nice restaurant serving a buffet.  I only have one sister who lives out of state and we cannot afford to fly out for the holidays.  She flys in when she can.  We are always open to invitations from friends or cousins who live in town.  However, we do not wait on invites and have our own plans made in advance.  We want to be invited because people enjoy our company and look forwrd to seeing us and not because they feel bad that we are alone.  We aren't alone - we have each other.

The holidays have changed but in many ways my daughter and I are closer. With just the two of us, there is less tension in the house.  This year she has asked if we can put up the tree earlier and she and her boyfriend will decorate it.  Since my divorce, the holidays are different each year, have been spent with different people, my sister, friends, cousins, etc.   They have been enjoyable and memorable.   My daughter and I feel we are building new memories to last a lifetime.
 

dmk23

Good for you for making the best of whatever comes your way this Holiday season.

YOU are the winner, here!!!!

SallyJo

Good timing for this subject.  This will be my 2nd Thanksgiving without the X.  Divorce was final in July so this is the 1st since FINAL.  I ASSUMED that my grown daughter and her family would invite my 20 year old son amd I to their house.  I have just found out that my s-i-l's family is expecting a special family member from out of state so my daughter ASKED me if it was ok for them to go to his side this year.  I totally understand what they are going through and i am NOT hurt about this.  If we don't get invited to my sister's house, my son and I will either fix dinner here (he's a chef) or we will go do the buffet treat.  Regardless, our lives are so mych better and I am honestly understanding this holiday thing.  Two out of my three children do not speak to their father so it is him that will be suffering.  Just a blurp:  I'm the one whose husband after 37 years of marriage, decided he is gay and has a boyfriend half his age. 

I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday season!

What do you mean by "retreat"?

That is GREAT advice!  I was reminded that even though my sisters and their families and my children and their families were here for me at the Holidays the past 2 years (since he left me), that we ALL must move-on.  And, that means that I should be grateful for the years that they may have put themselves out just to make sure that they were with me for the Holidays.

Your children's dilema, having to choose between their dad and you, must have been agonizing.  You are SUCH a great mom for apologizing and realizing thier situation.

Making our spouse's families our own is part of the marriage ties.  Having them cut you out of their lives hurts so much, I know.

But, time to move on!

Love ya,

SallyJo