I agree with the others. You had a really incompetent lawyer.I am on my third lawyer and never having had experience with lawyers I didn't know how bad they were until I got the third who is good (very expensive but I found it is also very expensive to have an incompetent one.) The first two were expensive and it was wasted money. It helped me to check out 5 divorce books from the library which I read back to back. You can also get a lot of information on your states divorce laws from the internet.  Make sure you get a divorce lawyer. My second one was not and he just didn't even seem know divorce law. My first one didn't want to do anything for the money I was paying. Having a support group helps and talking to others who been through it helps. I was amazed when I shared what I was going through with others (even people such as an employee at my bank whom I didn't know) opened up and shared their own experiences.  It has been a long hard journey for me (two years and no end in sight ) but it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was so afraid because I didn't know what I was doing and I had never lived on my own but it is wonderful and worth everything I have gone through trying to get divorced. This group has been one of the best things that has happened to me. When I joined I went through and read every posting and everything everyone wrote. And some I read over again because it was so comforting to me to know others had gone through some of the same feelings and frustrations I was going through. Thank you "Late Life Divorce" group for sharing your experiences.

Sanddollar27

I did some research into NC divorce laws, and can hardly believe what I read.   According to what I read, there are only two grounds (reasons) for divorce.  You either have to live totally apart for a year, or one of you has to be "crazy."   No wonder the attorney couldn't give you decent advice!  I would strongly advise you to find a decent attorney who can get your husband to move out of your place so that you can get on with your life.

That is good news, staying positive is the only way, and sometimes that is tough to do. But this web site is a great way to talk about your ups and downs. Hang in there, it will take time, but the two of you might talk about a time-line and things to do to meet that deadline! Just a thought. I have been divorced 4 1/2 years (this time) and even though the few months of emotional turmoil was hard I can say I am very very happy being alone. I think I finally learned my lesson, marriage just does not work for me! (mine was a snorer too and good Lord I do not miss that) Smile Lady........you will do fine!

I had another talk with him just a few hours ago.  He agrees that he will move out "just as soon as he can afford it".  That could mean soon or not.  I think we both know this marriage is over. 

That lawyer was yawning & stretching the whole time I was with him!  His waiting room was full of people who looked like were probably criminal cases.  I've learned my lesson with lawyers. 

If I can, I'm going to resolve this thing without a lawyer.

My one question is.....what does your husband say about all of this? Maybe you could help him find someplace else to move to. As far a the lawyer you saw........dumbest advice I have ever heard. Keep in mind, lawyers get paid by the hour and they do not care about anything except how much they get paid for your long drawn out divorce............just more $$$ for them........don't be depressed. Well, good luck!

I want this to be a peaceful process.  I don't want to have him convicted of a crime or even imply that he is a mean violent person, because he isn't.  It pains me to think that I'd have to resort to that.  Am I being unrealistic?

Hi, Cindy

Maybe you misunderstood me about shoving, hitting etc.  Those things have never happened.  The husband has never been a mean person; that's one good thing I can say about him.  The lawyer I spoke with wanted me to provoke him to do those things. 

My home (as humble as it is) is mine.  I bought it as a single lady way before I met the husband.  The loans (I have 2, one for the trailer, one for the land) are both in my maiden name.

I think I'm going to file for divorce myself without an attorney & see what happens.  Did I mention that before I met the husband I was was a divorcee?  I've been married and divorced 3 times before actually.  It shouldn't be so hard this time, but I find that I've forgotten a lot of what I've learned before.  I guess its just something one wants to put out of their mind.  After the 3rd time I swore I'd never do it again, but then I did.  (stupid of me).

99% of the lawyers give the others a bad name !

There isn't a mean bone in my entire body but my first wife had be evicted from our house BECAUSE she thought I would harm her when she filed for divorce.    The sheriff came, presented an order, and waited 5 minutes for me to "grab" some cloths and exit the house with him.   Each state may be slightly different but law inforcement can tell you, for free.    

Rich