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redbearwoman said:
on July 11, 2009 11:16 AM ET
Daddy at first had a black convertible Studebaker. When he and Mama had my baby brother, he bought a turquoise and ivory Pontiac with the pretty amber-colored Indianhead on the hood and ivory leather seats. Wow! we used to take Sunday drives and he would buy me a chocolate-covered cone from Dairy Queen. We rode for an hour in the then-all-white neighborhoods of Atlanta (down Peachtree Street), and he and Mama would plan the design of our first nice house based on what we saw riding. My brother was a baby, so Daddy taught me how to cut the grass on the pushblade mower, back and forth, back and forth - I was seven. Then, he struggled to teach me how to pull the string on the top of his new gasoline mower. I was terrified of it exploding, so I stayed "dumb". In the evenings, he would teach me how to count his rent monies and then, on that big metal adding machine, he would teach me how to pull the big handle on the right side to add numbers. I hated that machine, because I was anemic, and it was hard to pull the handle down. If I didn't follow through with the handle, it would pop back up and snap at my puny arms! The only soap we had was Ivory or Lux. Toothpaste, Colgate or Pepsodent. Deodorant: Arrid. Perfume: Midnight in Paris. Cooking oil: Crisco lard. Bread: Merita (later Flowers). Daddy would put Johnson's paste wax on the basement floors. He taught me how to buff the floors with a buffing machine. If I didn't keep the bottom's brushes at an angle, the machine would snap straight vertical, and start spinning in circles and catch my foot under it, not hurting it, but rather terrifying me as I tried to hit the "off" button. Mama made me use the white paste to clean all the upstairs white doors and white baseboards every month. We had a cleannnnnn house all the time. While Daddy worked and Mama finished graduate school on Saturdays, I babysat my brother and two little sisters, made all the beds, put the laundry in the washer down in the basement, washed the dishes, swept the kitchen floor, fed our dog, Nippy (every little stray dog was named Nippy by Daddy - I don't know why, maybe he just didn't feel like being creative and felt any old name would do?), and heated up chicken gumbo soup for lunch for my siblings. I honestly felt like I must be a slave or the black Cinderella, and truly believed that I had a godmother who would soon come to our door and rescue me. Then, whenever the doorbell rang, I prayed and prayed it was The Millionaire's rep, J. Michael Anthony, with a million dollars for me. Mama went to the beauty parlor every two weeks back then. She sat me on the kitchen counter, laid me with my head over the sink sprayer, and washed my long, thick, bushy red hair with Johnson's baby soap. We didn't have home hair dryers yet, so she got a towel and two kitchen chairs, opened the oven, lit the pilot light, and sat herself and me in front of it while she brushed and combed my hair until it was dry.Then she "greased" my scalp with something from a pink jar called Dixie Peach. The only time she straightened my hair with a hot comb was at Easter time and the school Christmas play. |
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HI Redbearwoman,
Thank you for your group topic, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, but I was really way behind in my postings, and didn't see your post until now..
There are always positives which come from negative situations. I realize it's hard to realize, but your parents taught you to do things for yourself, which stood you well.
It takes a while to realize the benefits of it all, for you learned to be independent, and me it was too long in coming.
Just the opposite of yourself, I was a dependent personality who was spoiled as a little girl. There is an expression, "poor little rich girl", and at that time I suppose it applied to me.
My only real happiness came when I was doing volunteer work in hospitals and for Retarded Children because it gave me a sense of importance, as I was doing something for others!
I went from my parents home into a marriage which didn't work out, and when my financial situation turned around completely, I had to send my children to live with their father which was quite difficult for me to do.
I then entered into a 30 year relationship, and my friend, who was like my Brother handled everything, and I did little for myself. If I was in a store, and went to the Ladies room, I asked Harvey to wait for me outside.
Yet, Harvey encouraged me to learn my computer, and to become active on the AARP Boards. He also encouraged me have my own social life which did help, especiallly when Harvey died.
However, it was only afterward when I learned to become my own person. When I programed my Telephone Answering Machine, it felt like a real accomplishment. Then I personalized my apartment.
I went back to work, got involved in volunteer work at the VA Medical Center, became extremely active in Toastmasters, and started 14 Discussion Groups on the AARP community portion of the website. All of which contributed to my becoming the person I am today!
Finally, it's possible that you and I might be at a similar place in life. Gail Sheehy wrote in her book "Passages" that women become more secure and are happier later in life, and with a man it's just the opposite, because they feel they haven't met their goals.
Frankly I'm happy! What about you, and what do you feel you learned from the negatives and positives? Shelby
As a kid in the 1960s, I bathed with Ivory, which floated on the surface of the water:
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I brushed my teeth with Crest toothpaste:

My mother combed my hair with a hair tonic called "Lucky Tiger":
