When John retired after twenty years as a union bartender in Las Vegas, a friend gave him a pair of Finches; his first birds. A few years later John’s backyard aviary is home to dozens of exotic birds, his back room is full of incubators and cages, and the living room is cluttered with books and videos about birds. Also, in the living room, a huge antique cage is home to Macky, a big Double Yellowhead Amazon Parrot.

One of the hotels on the strip has a tropical island, and when it receives new birds, the hotel further quarantines them with John for a couple of weeks to make sure they are clean, healthy, and friendly. “Further quarantined,” because they have already been quarantined when they first came into the country.

John is an officer in the local bird club, and he keeps birds for his friends when they go on vacation, so he is not overly surprised when he answers a knock at the door one day and an attractive, middle-aged lady says, “You must be the bird man of Vegas.”

John laughs, “Well I don’t know about… where’d you hear that?”

“The ladies at the library said…”

“Oh yeah, the bird club use to meet there sometimes.”

John invites her in, and she introduces herself as Roxy. Then they go to the backyard where John shows off his collection. Roxy acts as if she doesn’t know as much about birds as he does.

Hours later they are sitting on the patio talking birds and Roxy mentions Rose-Breasted Cockatoos, known in Australia as galahs.

John is flattered that an attractive younger lady finds him interesting; he is charmed. His wife passed away a few years ago. Roxy is holding a small plastic bottle of cold water; the humidity on the patio is about five percent.

John says, “I’d deal in galahs even if it is against the law. I mean it’s only against the law to bring them into the country; it’s not against the law to possess them. And what are they selling for, between two and three thousand a piece?”

Roxy answers calmly, “That’s what I hear, between two and three thousand. And it’s not as if they’re endangered, it’s open season on them year round down there. Farmers poison them, shoot them. I have a friend there, and I’ve visited a couple of times and when a flock of several thousand of them fly over it really does darken the sky. They’re like pests down there, but the Australian government won’t export any plants or animals, so it makes them valuable here.”

 

Later, they go in the living room where Macky is perched on top of his open cage. Macky says, “Hi this is John I can’t answer the phone right now Beep!” Macky learned that on his own, every time the phone rang and John wasn’t there to answer it…

Roxy laughs and says to Macky, “Well aren’t you a smart boy.” She puts her wrist against Macky’s chest, and he steps up on it.  

John smiles at her with appreciation, “Do galahs carry any disease?”

“No, no disease. They nest in the tops of trees, hard to get to, but my friend who lives there, he thinks he’s Crocodile Dundee, he can climb up there, candle the eggs, and get them back down without breaking them.” 

There is a gleam in John's eye as he says, "And after all, we'd be saving birds.”

They share a conspiratorial look… and by midnight, they are millionaires. At least that was the plan. Roxy’s friend gathers the eggs, Roxy makes the 23 hour non-stop flight from Sydney to Las Vegas, John meets her at the airport, takes the eggs home, and puts them in the incubators. As they hatch, he hand feeds them every two hours with a syringe, then every four hours, around the clock. After six weeks, Roxy shows up, gets on the phone, and sells them to California pet shops sight unseen for between two and three thousand dollars.  

They had sewn two tee shirts together with a checkerboard pattern on the front making little thumb-sized pockets to put the eggs in. Roxy went to the restroom on the plane every hour, turned each of the eggs, and out of twenty-something eggs sometimes all of them would survive.  

 

John doesn’t know Derrick but they have mutual friends in the bird world so when Derrick asks John if he will keep his birds for him when he goes on a trip, John agrees. Derrick owns several beauty salons in Las Vegas.

Weeks later John calls Derrick and leaves a message, “Derrick this is John. I’ve called you several times over the past two weeks since you returned from your trip. You keep promising to come over and get your birds, but you never do. Please come get your birds.”

After another two weeks, John calls Derrick, and says, “Derrick come and get these birds, or I’m gonna set them free.”

Derrick picks up his birds, goes home, calls the FBI, and tells them about John’s smuggling operation.

 

During the midnight raid, sixty-eight year old John stands there in boxer shorts, a v-neck tee shirt, and handcuffs as various law enforcement personnel take every bird, even birds that are not galahs, every bird book, bird video, bird equipment, and… Macky knows something is wrong, he is squawking, “Hey boy how you doing?” over and over as they carry him and his cage out into the night. John, with his hands cuffed behind, can’t wipe away the tears.

The birds went to zoos. Roxy cut a deal with Australian authorities and was fined five thousand dollars.

The federal government spent millions of dollar flying people from Australia and California to Las Vegas, and putting them up in hotels for weeks during the trial. John paid an attorney the thirty thousand dollars he had made off galahs, and still got three years in prison. He died shortly after being released from prison.

end