Living Wills &other Directives
 
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Date Created:
April 4, 2008
Category:
Family & Friends »
Caregiving
Group Type:
Public
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jane AARP Member
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jane
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Living Wills &other Directives
A discussion group for those people who are considering writing up a living will, a power of attorney for health care, or any other kind of advance directive. Share ideas about how to approach or talk to family or friends about this sometimes tricky topic. Share resources and tips. This group does not provide legal advice.
  Post to Topic     Print   What Can I do About Getting Parents Back Into Nursing Home
http://www.aarp.org/community/groups/displayTopic.bt?groupId=3772&topicId=2360312
Joi said:
on June 7, 2009 05:38 AM ET

Can anyone help me? I have a question: I do have the P.O.A. on my parents, one of my sisters whent and took my parents out of the nursing home while I was out of state for a coulple of days...she had tried this just a week ago and couldn't because I was there. Now she has manage to do it, by siging a AMA...against medical advice...I'm realy worried about my parents as they can't live on their own and she wants to put them into a regular appartment to do so. Dad is 84 and has Alzheimers and Mom is 78 and has Senile Dementia...neither one can comperhend why they can't live on their own. Their doctor will not sign for them to leave the nursing home. I am also their payee. I guess they will be living with my sister for awhile,, not sure of that.

  My sister doesn't realy know their mental or health issures...guess she realy doesn't care or she would have asked about it before she did what she did. I won't stop until my parents are back where they belong...I tried taking care of both of them for a year in my home,,,needless to say I got down in health and could no longer care for them. They were realy content to be where they are until my sister started all this mess and now she has their minds  believing they can be out on their own. The DHS has already told me she is in big trouble....I just need help on some advice ...PLease if anyone out there can help...I thank you so much!!.....And God Bless............Joi
2 posts by 2 users
Joi
Post #2
Joi replied to jane's Post #1 :
on June 26, 2009 05:40 AM ET

Hi Jane,

   Thank you for your comments. Well my sister did manage to get parents out of the nursing home .. it's quite a story: I did manage to keep her from doing it the first time because I was there,,, then I went to Ark. for overnight when I got a call from the nursing home saying my sister was there and was taking them out...at that time they were having their annualy state inspection...well they talked to the state lady and she told them they could sign a AMA . so they did and the nursing home had to let them go against my orders not too, Now they are living with my sister and have to have 24/7 care. I talked to the APS person and he said as long as there is some one there with them all the time he realy couldn't do anything. ...Parents are suppose to get their own appartment next month and no one is going to be living with them....so when they do then I'm sure the APS will step in and take them back to the nursing home....they can't live on their own and how they got out  in the first place is because of the AMA and also my sister had talked mom and dad into siging a revoke paper stating that I was no longer their POA.

    My sister doesn't believe that mom and dad are as bad as I say,, she just thinks I want them intutionalized. Which I realy don't...it's best for them. they both have Medicaid and Medicare and draw SSI. I realy think she just wants to get her hands on their little checks. As of right now she is in jail for writing hot checks...that shows me she doesn't have any sense of reponsabilty. So how is she going to take care of them when she isn't home to do it.

  Thanks for caring...God Bless ...Joi


jane
Post #1
jane said:
on June 25, 2009 05:42 PM ET

 I'm so sorry you're in such a pickle with your parents and sister. And sorry I didn't see this post sooner, not that i'm an expert.  Since you've posted this, has there been any change?

 

Since you have power of attorney, you may have some authority over your parents, but it would be better to find some peaceable compromise or agreement with your sister. Does she think that you exaggerate their dementias and just want them "institutionalized"? Did your parents pay directly for the nursing home, or did Medicaid pay for it? Can you talk to the social workers at the nursing home, or even call the local nursing home ombudsman for advice?

 

Any chance you have an attorney?

 

The local Area on Aging could advise you for free: go to eldercare.gov and fill in your parents zip code to find one near them, or you.

 

Good luck with this!