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Grief & Loss
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Grief & Loss
Grief and loss are as normal as laughter and birth in our life experiences. But we all have different degrees of pain and pleasure. Let us hear your experience and how you cope.
  Post to Topic     Print   Finally going to a restaurant that my hubby and I went to weekly
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jnwells01 said:
on November 1, 2009 04:44 PM ET

I don't know about all of you, but I have a hard time going somewhere that Paul and I went to regularly.  There is a restaurant that we went to almost every Friday night, sat at the same table, and got to know the owner and waitresses.  I haven't been back there yet, but have been dying for their manicotti.  Finally, today some friends were here for the weekend and I asked them if they would want to go, and we're going!  I am happy that I'll be going but sad that Paul won't be with me.  I feel like this is a major step for me.  I hope I can swallow once I get there and get past the initial pain. 

Is there a better way to cope with this?
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10 posts by 10 users
shorebird
Post #10
shorebird said:
on November 6, 2009 04:50 PM ET

Hi Everyone

I'm a widow for five years now, and although the pain subsides, you never ever forget him. I think of him every day, I still miss him and most of all I miss his companionship, his caring and loving ways.

I feel so desperately lonely at times, I thank God for my grandkids, they make me feel alive.

I have no words of wisdom to impart, all I can say is that this is a stage that most of us will go through, being women, the men seem to die sooner.

Carol

 


Travelwriter
Post #9
Travelwriter said:
on November 2, 2009 10:19 AM ET

Congratulations on your success!

I know I am late as well, since I just got on, but I am sure you are very proud of yourself that you have finally overcome the heartache of this favorite place where the two of you went. You certainly should be. How wonderful to have friends with you who understand you and love you enough to help you over this hurdle.

There are still several places I can't go yet like my late hubby's school where he taught. Isn't that strange?

Lots of love & hugs,

Sharon


jnwells01
Post #8
jnwells01 said:
on November 1, 2009 09:41 PM ET

Thank you all so much!  I knew that you would all be thinking of me, supporting me.  It was hard but I managed it.  I saw one of the waitresses we had gotten so close to and cried a little while hugging her.  I'm glad that I went and the manicotti was fabulous.  Thank you Friends.  - Judy W. 


slim70
Post #7
slim70 said:
on November 1, 2009 08:15 PM ET

My friend you are taking one of those baby steps in the right direction I am happy you are going with friends..It is real hard to go someplace without that loved one but we must go on..One afternoon my son and his wife toook me to a resturant where the FOUR of us use to go and of course the waiter asked are we waiting for another person??My heart almost jumped out of my body,my son in a firm voice said NO just the three of us..So I did get through the meal..Hugs to you my friend..Judy


bls0901
Post #6
bls0901 said:
on November 1, 2009 07:11 PM ET

 I have been avoiding going places where my best friend and I went to also.  Finally, I happened to be in the same town where we had gone to a great garden center that she loved to go to.  I went in by myself and bought 100 Iris bulbs so that I can plant a Iris memorial garden in her honor.  I will certainly cry enough tears to water the garden when the flowers bloom but I can't wait for them to come up!!  


willshouse
Post #5
willshouse said:
on November 1, 2009 07:03 PM ET

Hello, I think it's great that you have friends who can and will go with you.  This is a great step!  Your friends can surely help with the initial sting of it all.  (Sorry I'm slow posting... You've probably already been out.)  Congratulations!  Hope it went well!  ~~Blessings, Tracey


patvar
Post #4
patvar said:
on November 1, 2009 06:45 PM ET

You are doing it!  I am so glad that you have friends going with you.  Your husband would be proud of you and enjoy the manicotti - it is not that we are trying to forget we have to heal from within and that just takes time!

Blessings,

Pat


akboscacci
Post #3
akboscacci said:
on November 1, 2009 06:04 PM ET

Congratulations for taking the challenge and giving yourself permission to enjoy (with friends) a place, a meal, a dish, that you love!     Ralph & I had many favorite restaurants; one served a delicious "Clams & Linguini" w/sourdough bread that I would order every time; Ralph would order a ravioli dinner; we would have a nice white wine to drink; I have really missed my favorite meal in that cute place!

 

So...good for you!  Enjoy and continue to take those steps!   Anna

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