Dear Briansgirl:  We all share these thoughts and that is what makes this group so valuable and helpful......The only thing I can say is that with time, things do get a little easier.....but there will be ups and downs along the way..  I have discovered that grief is not a steady progression;   just when you think you're doing quite well, something comes along that reminds you of your loss and you feel as if you're back in Square One.....But these episodes do get less frequent, and one's coping skills improve.   The best advice I can give you, and it seems to work for me, is to keep very busy and just trust that the deep hollowness inside will get better.....I think it's time that someone invents a 'get over grief quickly' pill........take one and you feel better!  But until that happens, we just have to do what we can to work through it.....Good luck to you....and keep in touch!  Gretchen

 Hi everyone, 

I am new to this site and am in need of people like you to help me get through these rough times.  Also, I have been told that I am a very good listener and would like to help out anyone who needs a friendly ear.  I can't believe that it has been a year since my true love passed away, I keep wanting to tell him how my day went or find myself saying I must tell Brian this or that. It has been a really hard year to get through and I miss him just as much now as I did 11 months ago. I miss lying in his arms and talking till all hours of the morning, Sunday brunch at the Whitehorse and you falling asleep 5 minutes into a movie.  "Brian my soulmate, I'll love you forever my sweet, you are in my heart, now and always".

Thank you so much for you prayers ...........i really need as much of them as i can get, my faith has been so shattered, by my Richie loss...........that i feel so alone, we did everything together, we have 3 wonderful daughters & son-in-laws, & 4 terrific grandchildren, but the lonelyness is mine alone...............they have there families (as it should be) if i need them they would be with me in a heart beat.but i can't do that to them, they are handling there grief in there own way (they were very close with there Dad) i still have... so many unanswered questions............all the whys & what fores, what was the purpose of taking him......i feel that when you lose your spouse not just one person dies but you die also.....that is just me & my thoughts

Still broken, thanks again

Barbara

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Anna,for some reason the power of my friends prayers seem to reach me right here and I know we are all in the same state of mind sometimes if it were not for you dear friends and my dear Lord I do not know where I would be today..Thank you again for your caring and prayers..Today the wind stopped blowing and the sun is starting to shine now just a matter of digging out from under ..God will provide,look at all the moisture He gave me lol..Hugs  Judy

Dear Bubles and Sharon:   What a lovely group this is!    Every single one of you seems to know what I'm talking about when i mention the 'renewed grief'.....Just knowing that others out there understand makes it all less lonely.....Thank you all so very, very much......I Will get through this, just as I have the past two years, but right now life is hard thinking about the annivrsary of Bob's death....And that's my whine for the day, I guess..Gretchen

Hi,

I can understand what you are going through, as we all go through it.

I am a 53 year old single female, no siblings, few relatives left.

My parents are still living but sad.   My mom has been in nursing home for two years.

She is 91 years old and has dementia and can't walk, bad arthritis.

I lived at home with my parents all of my life, and of course now with my 89 year old dad, who ages everyday.

Life stinks sometimes!    My life has changed so much.

I visit mom, daily and don't have time to socialize much.    If I did socialize, I feel guilty.

I would think, what are my parents doing.

Stanford 55, I sympathize with you and pray for you.

This is the time of year that I used to love.  All the decorations for the holidays are out there and I remember all the good times I used to have with my parents and family.

Nothing stays the same.   I try and be happy and take care of myself but my mind keeps going back to happy times.

They say, keep busy but my mind still wanders.

I listen to music to try and relax.  It doesn't erase memories but relaxes me.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Dear Gretchen,

I can totally relate to you and my heart goes out to you! I lost my wonderful hubby only 8 months ago and have done several "crash & burns" where I cried so hard, I could not drive or do anything but call a dear friend for prayer. I was not prepared for them to hit, so was caught by surprise. The first big day was Father's Day and the next surprise was the 4th of July going to the yearly family reunion we had always gone to together out of state. I had to pull over, call a friend and then let my 31 year old daughter drive for me, I was sobbing so hard. As soon as I saw the family, I ran into a bedroom to cry and then finally came out once I regained my composure. I only stayed 4 hours and then excused my little group because I was feeling the torrent of tears coming on. My daughter drove us home. I know it will be easier next year.

His birthday is coming up on November 6th. He would have been 63. I made plans this time and wil be with family and friends in Texas and plan to go back to his grave site to have a little"talk" with him to tell him how much I miss him. I know that may be a little silly because I really think he sees what I am doing every day and is here with me every day watching and observing as I try to make sense of this new life without him.

Those who love us know the tears will still come and they will be there for hugs when we need them. I have learned to ask for hugs when I need them. I am not shy about asking anymore.

Lots of love & hugs to you, dear one,

Sharon

.....Judy ~ I'm in California; it's late, and you may not get a chance to read my post until tomorrow.  I feel that you need All of Us to get in a big Humvee (did I spell that right?!), drive over there, pick you up, and take you with us on a drive to warmer temps., sunshine, and blue skies!  So...get packed, girl!

Seriously, I'm thinking about you and keeping you 'front & center' in my prayers!  Next week will be a challenge; the following week, another challenge; really, the entire month of November, you know!  This week-end, the anticipation of 'troubled thoughts & feelings' is really tough!  But we will help through it, even through the toughest times!

Blessings & we'll talk tomorrow,  Anna