Besides an enormity of other issues in retirement, there was one other issue my former spouse and I faced daily: 

• What I considered fun.
• What he considered fun.

I retired at 52.  He was 54 at the time.  We did not plan for our retirement.  We did not openly talk about what retirement meant to each of us.  We just did it.  We moved to a retirement community with all the bells and whistles.  This was going to be a very different life than the one we had lived before.

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It would require a relocation.  My children were not his children.  So, it appeared to me, that he disconnected from the relationship of stepfather very easily once we moved.  Being a traditional homemaker, who worked for ten years in my former spouse's business, I had no other marketable skills outside of his particular business; no outside contacts with the world: other than two close girlfriends I left behind in New York.  After moving, I found myself concerned about how to maintain a close relationship with my children and grandchildren.  The first year, I returned to New York twelve times, by myself.  My spouse did not want to go.  It was also very expensive to keep flying back and forth.

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The retirement community we moved to offered tennis and golf as the main activity.  There was a clubhouse, with a gym, and a restaurant.  In reality, all you ever had to do again was get out of bed, shower/bath, grab a cup of coffee, and go play the rest of the day.

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At first, this was lots of fun.  We were kept very busy learning about our new community, buying new furniture, and meeting other retirees.  But time marched on...  My spouse was an avid tennis player.  I did not play tennis.  He would play for three hours at a time every morning and again sometimes in the late afternoon. He also liked motorcycling.  I did not.  Neither of us played golf.  The evenings were filled with dinners with other retirees.  I began to feel claustrophobic.  I began to look into activities that I liked at the time...which were few.  I had not been a very adventuresome person.  I was a gal that mostly followed the ways of her man.

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I enjoyed yoga, walking, museums, and plays.  I liked to hear lectures on different topics, and learned the art of Ikebana. (Japanese flower arranging).  I also started studying Buddhist philosophy.  I joined Hospice, and volunteered driving blind seniors to their monthly meetup.  I found it difficult during this time to pursue my activities, because I would try and do them around my spouse's time out of the house.  I was always available once he walked in the door.  This was a big mistake. 

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We had both worked very hard revamping his failed business for the prior ten years, before retiring.  He needed to play.  I needed to learn who I was.  We had worked like dogs during that decade, rarely doing anything else than making sure the newly revamped business survived.  We lost ourselves in work.  I am sharing this with readers today, so that those of you that have intact marriages, and will either soon be spending your days together; think about counseling, or getting some books, and watching some videos on the different phases a marriage goes through.  In order to survive retirement, live fully and passionately together;  there is a need to restructure your marriage. 

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It is vital for both husband and wife to have mental and emotional space between them.  Retirement can bring you closer, if other areas of your marriage are in balance.  Closeness is wonderful, but each of you will require individual experiences that you find enriching.