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November
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Travelwriter said:
on October 30, 2009 01:39 AM ET
November seems to be a very difficult month for many of us on this site. Along with many of you losing the love of your life, some of us have birthdays coming up without that loved one. Even though my late hubby's birthday was November 6th, mine is also this month on the 22nd. He always sent me a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. Now that he is no longer here , I am not sure what to do. Do I send them to myself? Do I ask a dear friend? My grown kids can't really afford to send me any. Do you have traditions this month coming up and don't know what to do either? I am open to suggestions. The Thanksgiving problem is solved for me, since my son wants me to join them this year. They don't mind me not having it as I always did in the past. Thank God for them and that blessing. Lots of love & hugs, Sharon |
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I am so sorry for your loss. Watching a loved one in pain is so difficult and when it drags on it is the most difficult of all. You must be a very courageous woman.
At least when Rick passed I did o see him suffer. He had a heart attack in the middle of the night in ICU a week after his surgery. The last conversation I had with him was funny and lively, even though he was on a lot of morphine because of his leaky valve and afib after the 5 way bypass.
The dating I was doing is now down the tubes. I have been hurt for the last time for a while. I am calling it quits for awhile after being stood up for the third time. Some men, it seems don't respect that when they ask you out on a date and set a day and time, they should be there and not call an hour beore and cancel. What is with that? I look forward all day to the event and plan what I will wear and do lots of extra things. Guys just don't get it, I guess nowadays.
I also took your advice. Yesterday after getting stood up (again) and hour before we were supposed to go out, I got online and ordered myself the birthday bouquet that my hubby would have sent me this weekend, had he still been here. I even had the card sent from Rick. I know he would get a kick out of that even just watching and observing!
We will make it through this and I am so glad we are all here in this group for each other!
Lots of love & hugs,
Sharon
Sharon,
I lost my husband on April 25th, but he hadn't been home since Sept. He suffered a head injury and was hospitalized and then in a nursing home until his passing. So, it has been a over a year since he was "home".
I too am looking to rebound as quickly as I can. Not an easy thing to do, but I know that is what he would have wanted. Some days are better than others.
Dating will be tough. I know that I need to remember that I will not find him again so I cannot compare anyone new with him and his memory.
What a difficult path this is.
Susan
edited on November 7, 2009 10:24 PM ET
Absolutely! We are all going to make it through this and finally come out on the other side some day. I think it just is a matter of how courageous we are and how much we can let go of, and how soon. We all heal at different speeds because of different things in our lives.
I am extremely motivated to heal and even though I had a wonderful time at our Galveston meet & greet today and laughed a lot, my sister went with me to the cemetery on our way back to Houston. I bawled like a baby and I am so glad she was there with me. It is still hard to believe the love of my life for 40 years is gone!
It has been 8 months and I am beginning to date. I get excited when someone email me and calls me after we have met in person. I am trying to move on with meeting lots of people for friends. One is becoming more than a friend and may have some promise for later on. We shall see. Right now, though the friendship is really what I need.
Good luck with the stage you are in right now. I wish you lots of love & healing hugs, dear one,
Sharon
Sharon,
I think that sending yourself roses is a great idea....you know that your late husband would be sad to think of you without them.
Take care and we will all try to get through these months together.
Susan
You are all so sweet and I am so glad you are here. Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to all of you out there who are celebrating with us. I love the idea of sending myself the flowers.
I am taking family on the Anniversary cruise thst my late hubby and I had planed for December 27th. Now there are 12 of us going and most have never ever been on a cruise before. It will be a celebration of his life and what he meant to all of us! Somehow we have just got to make it to turn these tears into joy. I guess it is a little like making lemonade from lemons.
Lots of love & hugs to you all,
Sharon
The first year of holidays and celebrations without your loved one is the hardest.
I think you should buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. The intensity of feelings of loss diminishes with time - as it should. Until them, just do what your instinct tella you to do - do whatever will make you feel better.
Hi, Sharon. I, along with you, have a birthday in November - the 23rd! And, I also lost my husband on November 12 (will be 2 years). Since ours was a second marriage and one of his daughters always had the holiday dinners at her house, we wound up going there most of the time. However, ties with us (his children and me) have diminished. I have 4 children (grown with children) and due to different circumstances in their lives, I'm not sure what I will be doing this Thanksgiving or on my birthday. So, I won't be handing out any suggestions since I don't know where I will be on these days. Anyway, I wish you happiness and good thoughts during November.
Dee
Your name says it all!
Lots of love & hugs,
Sharon
