I so  relate!  Tom and I obtained guardianship of our granddaughter in Feb 2007.  She is 13 this year.

In our area SEDOL sponsors a Grandparent Support Group for our community.  We are not involved in SEDOL  other than attending the support group.

Good Luck!

Good Morning Sijai,

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement...wow !!  you went through alot for your grandson!...they are worth it!    I guess one of my many concerns is that I lose that "I love spending time with my grandma"   I   have taken over the "you are so mean"  roll (setting a time for homework and limiting computer time) Boy oh boy I am a real meany.  I believe in consistancy and his mother was a little laxed with him. 

I think it is so hard on him being in a new high school and geeeze...i am sure kids are asking him why are you living with your grandmother?  where's your mom? on and on and on.....I ask him how school is going and have you met any new friends?  I get very short responses.....

He left alot of really good friends behind and that is so sad.  I have even offered to take him to visit his old friends and he does not want to do that.   I am sure it is to avoid the questions?

what does a kid say when asked by other kids "hey why are you living with your grandmother?" "where's your mom?"

 he comes home from school everyday and goes right to his computer games...even on the weekends no friends...I have tried to encourage him to join clubs at school or play some kind of sports..he's not interested.  He is getting A's and B's so far....and is in some honors classes...thank God for that.

I guess we have to count our blessings every day and appreciate what we have...I am blessed with an amaizing young man that is trying so hard to make it and I love him with all my heart !!!!  I will do what ever it takes to guide him and see him through (:

Take care and have a great weekend!

Laura

Laura,

  i understand you completely.  The area I live in Pennsylvania has nothing and I have called state reps, churchs, community groups, etc and have gotten no where.  My granddaughter attends a small catholic school with no access to school couinselors.  When I actually approached the school they acted like I was a disease they did not want to catch.  I had the same vibes from friends too. 

 It is her and I going at it day by day.  We are lucky to have each other and it has brought us closer together.  I worry everyday how we are going to make it to the next day but we always some how do.  I too have no involvement or support from the parents.  Good luck to you and know that you are not alone. 

Cyndi

Laura, I know it is a lap full! Especially if you weren't expecting it! Try your best to relax and enjoy this young man. You can still be grandma. I am raising my 7 yr old grandson, and believe me, I wasn't even thinking in terms of a  baby coming into my new marriage. LOL! I was 51 at the time, when I realized I needed to take control of the situation and remove him from his mother. Actually as the DR. said, it is either the boy goes with your mother or I am calling CPS.

At that time, I was working, my hubby is 100% disabled and retired from the Army. We had a house payment and two cars we were paying on.... You know how those lists pile up. What else could we do but take the lil buggar and love the dickens out of him! We rebudgeted, got rid of what we could and settled in as a family.

From what I understand, if the child had come to us through CPS, he would have x amount of money coming to him a month for his care. He does have Medicare, thank heavens, but if she would let us adopt him, he would get the military benies.

There are Big Brothers and Big Sisters out there, maybe your area has that happening? You might be able to get food stamps also, and medical care for him. I am sure you will get some useful ideas from this site. There is also www.grandparents.com where I recieved some ideas.

I know you will get a whole new education with this child, so many things have changed since your last one was in middle school. There are school counselors who might be able to help you too. We are homeschooling our rascal right now. Believe me it is a whole new world out there.

In the end run though, we are finding so many rewards with having him here with us! I wouldn't want it anyother way! In fact I KNOW he is keeping us young! LOL!

In the spirit of grandma's and grandpas that take in our beautiful grandchildren, Sijai

Hi Laura , My name is Regina & I too am raising my grandson . I have had him since he was a week old & now he is 9 years old. Mom & dad are out of the picture for the time being , not even paying their child support. Go figure. But now my GS calls me mom , I am all he has ever known . I have been running a grandparents group in Va. for awhile where we vent & I do research for all states . Cases & laws { Fed & State} if you would like , I am so close to you I could help you if you need help or if you just need to vent to the group. There are a lot of smart people on there who can help in many ways. The addy is virginagrands@yahoogroups.com ,come try us out . You will learn a lot from the group & see a lot of use are in your shoes . You are not alone. See ya there. God Bless Regina