I hate for my first post to be such a needy one, but I don't have anywhere to turn except to other grandparents who may perhaps have some experience or insight into this situation...

My daughter is 30, and has two children, a daughter and a son. My granddaughter, now 10, was taken by her father when she was 3; none of us has seen her since. My grandson is 8; for 5 of those 8 years my daughter has been married to the man my grandson calls Daddy, but who is actually step-daddy. He's been around since my grandson was born, but he's always made it clear that he is not Daddy; what kind of man tells a 5 year old who idolizes him 'I'm not your father, don't call me Daddy'??? My daughter finally left him back in March, but unfortunately she didn't think it through and she ended up with no place to stay. (And she wouldn't come live with me, her "pride", she claimed) Anywhere that she could stay, she couldn't have him with her, for whatever reason. Finally we decided that he would come and live with me until she could get herself together. He came to live with me in April. I live in another state, some distance away, so we agreed that I would put him in school, and then in December I would bring him home for the holidays. Whether he stayed with me after that or not was up in the air; it depended on what kind of shape she was in.

Well, last week I suddenly am told by my 8 year old grandson that his mother told him he's "going home on the 11th"!! I asked him what he meant, and it was exactly that; she had called him and told him that he was coming home on September 11th! I'll skip over all the going back and forth between her and I about why she didn't talk to me first; the bottom line is, on Monday the 14th I have to put him on a plane by himself and send him back. She's totally disregarded the fact that he's just started in a new school, made new friends, and gotten over the grief and upheaveal he went thru when they split up. She also hasn't thought about all that he has here that she can't give him. All she knows is she misses him. It's never even occurred to her that he might be happier here...

All that aside though, how do I get through this? I want to get angry, but I know I have no right to be. He's her son, and regardless of what I think, I have to send him back. I'm going to miss him so much though; he's been such a huge part of my life, and now to have to give him up...and it's not like we're close, where I'll be able to see him on weekends. I'll prbably get to see him at Christmas, and then if I'm lucky she'll let him come and spend the summer with me.  How do I put him on the plane without him seeing how devastated I am? How do I get thru this?