I read the most recent posts dealing with recently having grandchildren join your families.  My husband and I got our granddaughter when she was 4 months old and she is now 15.  The early years were physically challenging but now I face emotional challenges that I hope I am dealing with in a way that will help her.  I lost my husband in April and am now facing the challenges alone, with support from my daughters.  Like all of you, I wouldn't want it any other way.  While we have our difficult moments, the love, liveliness and happiness far outweigh them.  I don't claim to have all the answers but am doing the best I can.  I hope to get some ideas from all of you on how I can improve.

Ellen

I'm 67 and my twin 16 year old grandsons live with me.    I have to tell you it has energized me more than I have could imagined.  I was happily retired and this situation arose and WOW what a change.  You are continually making comparisons with what you did with your own kids and what you can do differently/better with these children - for me absent work worries and money constraints. They have their ugly moments and their bad times, but I have never wished for this not to have happened.  My other grown children and their spouses/families have pitched in and it is a family effort.  The boys have been with me for almost a year now and are doing so much better. Amazing!  .   Both play JV football and it was interesting to see the dynamic of how their friend's parents related to me. It was great to be viewed as a peer rather than an "older person".  We get so used to our own "age mates" that to be mobile in this much younger group was fascinating.  We hear that more and more grandparents are assuming the primary parenting role for grandchildren, so maybe this phenomenon is no longer unique.

One thing I haven't experienced yet is how this status, will affect my ability to have an adult relationship. My late husband passed away 8 years ago so I am a "single (grand) parent".   How weird.   It's usually grandparent couples raising the grandchildren.  I would be interested in hearing if their are any other single grandparents - male or female out there raising grandkids.  That would be a different spin on the subject.

Joyce - Be encouraged, not pensive.  Whatever you do will be beneficial. Just the fact that you have assumed the role of parent again speaks to positive changes for your grandson.

Martha

You know what?  We just do the best we can and sometimes we still make mistakes with our grands - but, I am sorry, please forgive me, I will love you always no matter what, and if you get put in jail for some thing I have warned you about (get your own self out) HA!, but always let them know they are wanted and not ever a burden...our grandson is 17 and life is different with him living with us...but I thank God he is here and thank God I am able to love him and be loved!!!!

Welcome Joyce,

Our grandson will be 16 at the end of this month, so I understand the teen thing.  You have to admire their energy and appetite for fun.  But, that energy can be wearing at times.  Ours keeps us very busy because he's so active in sports.  I think that just loving them is the most important thing, along with letting them know that they are wanted. 

When I was a child, my best friend was being raised by her grandparents.  They were wonderful people who adored their granddaughter.  But, my friend said to me "My mom didn't want me and my dad didn't want me, so, they gave me to my grandparents.  They don't really want me either, but they're stuck with me until I'm 18."  There's no doubt in my mind that her grandparents did not feel that way, but that was what she believed.  She went through life believing that no one in the entire world wanted her.  We've tried to tell our grandson often that we're glad he's here with us and our lives would not be nearly as rewarding, and actually downright boring, without him.  We try to let him know that someone wants him.